Terri: I assume I am in the same boat as many of you... the BFNs and the chem pregnancies hit you like a rock, and you feel like there is no where to go. Months feel like years. I was so, so sad and unfortunately took it out on my partner, which is an awful route to take. Placing your anger is difficult because there is no one to feel mad AT. It certainly has taken a toll.
But after many years, here we are. We pushed through and I learned, with help and support of friends, that there is only so much within our control, even if it doesn't feel "fair" that everyday on FB you see someone else announcing their "over-the-moon-ness" and how happy and perfect their lives are. TBH, I quit Facebook because I couldn't bear it, as childish as that may sound. I couldn't take it. Removing myself from the constant comparison of my life to her life, or his life, etc. actually really helped. I needed to stop the comparisons. If our journey was going to end with the BFNs, then I was just going to have to be deliriously happy that I still had a partner that loved me and I loved him, and our lives were going to continue the way they were before: happy that we had each other.
We didn't know our carrier before reaching out to an agency for the matching process. However, it feels like we are old friends. She is WONDERFUL. No drama. Carriers are people who literally risk their lives for you, and how can you ever repay that? We can't, but we can be supportive and grateful all the way.
This brings us to yesterday, 14dp5dt. And here is where I would appreciate some advice: our numbers, which the doc says look fine.
They're not quite doubling, but the tests were done almost exactly 48 hours apart. I know the window is 48-72, but I assume like all of you, I would love it if I didn't have to stress over every single number and test, right?