4 replies to this topic

[WillB4]

Hello all. I'm new here and am facing a bit of a struggle. Just a brief history... I'm 45 and have 2 children of my own conceived naturally when I was 41 and 43. My first pregnancy was a late term live birth loss (NOT due to genetics) and my second is a beautiful, healthy and fiesty 2 year old little girl. We tried getting pregnant again since our daughter was 6 months old and succeeded December 2015. We sadly lost the pregnancy 8 weeks later due to a blighted ovum. After seeing 2 fertility specialists we had to accept the fact that due to DOR we will most likely never have another child of our own again and the donor route is our only option. So here we are waiting for our transfer to happen in just over a week. I'm overwhelmed with emotions wondering how am I going to accept being pregnant and having a child that does not share my DNA..... Will I always favour my daughter who shares my DNA vs my child that won't? This particularly scares me! I'm here hoping to meet ladies who are in or have been in like situation and how their experience and outcome has been. TIA

[grovehill123]

I wish you all the best.  Making the leap to donor is difficult , but once your baby is born the genetics doesn't matter.  Just to give you hope I am 46, and pregnant currently 8w with donor embryos.  You can do this!

[WillB4]

Thank you grovehill. I know I can do this and all will be perfect in the end. Congratulations and best of luck luck to you too!

[quandry]

I am remarried and had two older children from my first marriage who are now 19 and 16. After five losses, one at 13 weeks, we decided de was the way to go and we have never had a regret. Our son is now 19 months old and while he has some delays due to clubfoot, he is doing amazing. And is loving and sweet. I couldn't love him any more if I tried! And there's zero preference. I grew him. Fed him. Nurtured him and loved him the same as my other children. And don't discount epigenetics! My son actually looks a lot like me!

[WillB4]

Oh quandry that makes me feel so much better knowing that epigenetics is a good possibility. Although my husband and 2 close friends of mine all said our donor has a striking resemblance to me. I pray I'll see a little bit of me in him/her. Thanks for sharing your experience and congratulations on your baby boy! Wishing you all the best!