689 replies to this topic

[auroraB]

Hello Ladies,

 

Well I received my BFN the other day. Definitely took a few days to process. Currently reeling between DE and trying again. As I'm 40 now time is not on my side and need to decide asap. Had a good chat with my RE yesterday which gave me hope to try again. She offered to change protocol but I feel that I need to stay with the Estrogen priming because it does give me about 3 eggs to work with and this will be our 4th one coming up.

 

Hang in there ladies So happy to have this forum to follow and chat on!

 

oh and marbear! I love your hashtag

 

#onlytakesone

[returnable]

Aurora I am very sorry about your result. I am happy that you are back.

[SunnySkies]

Aurora So sorry about the BFN. That must have been so hard. I was really hoping to see a different result for you. Sounds like you`re in a good place mentally though, I hope you can keep up with that. 

 

@impatiently I don't know a lot about different protocols and when it makes sense to switch to IUI etc. But I do think your physician should be able to explain to you why he or she decides on something. Or maybe that is just me wanting to know how things work. I would definitely explore a second opinion. For me, it feels that infertility is more of a private health care, so you should be your own advocate. You have nothing to loose by going to another doctor. And maybe a little wait time is nice to not put pressure on yourself to decide on things right away?

 

 

As for me, I did an AMH test back in September, and just found out today that I have an AMH of 17.9pmol/L. The last one was 8.1 pmol/L which was in January. So now I am a little confused about what happened. I know I had high vitamin D levels back in January, so the AMH wasn't artificially low. I don't understand why it has more than doubled. Although a lot higher than the first one, the new one is still on the low side of normal for my age, so I don't think my protocol will change much. And I guess the doctor looks at a lot more things than just AMH. Anywho, I emailed them the results and I will talk to the nurse tomorrow. 

[returnable]

SunnySkies. Were the tests done at the same lab? The test is not perfect and results from labs and different people can have an effect on the reported value:

 

http://www.npr.org/s...e-as-theyd-like

 

The value that you give though is within the normal range of all ages (there is a great deal of variability), so it cannot be used as an "absolute" number like for example a red blood count would be. I can't remember whether I shared it with you, but I put this quick summary together on AMH when I was doing my own learning:

 

https://ivf.ca/forums...it-explanation/
 

[returnable]

SunnySkies how is the stimming going?

 

EBE how are you doing?

 

For those interested, I determine that the pharmacy where I get my drugs (Glen Shields) can supply multidose gonal-f vials with a lead time of a couple of days. The manufacturer of these at least here in Ontario pharmacies is EMD Serono. As the pharmacy couldn't let me know whether there was an overfill, I got the consumer information leaflet from EMD Serono, and it does confirm that the 450 IU vial contains 596 IU (effectively 600 IU). Because you mix it and withdraw with a syringe like for Menopur, they assume that with each injection there is some loss. So for the next IVF I'll definitely request that the doctor prescribe the 450IU multidose vials as I am paying for 450IU and getting 600IU. When we got the pens for my first IVF cycle, no matter what the dosage of the pen, the overfill was generally 75 IU.

[ImpatientlyWaiting]

AuroraB, I'm sorry about your BFN. You seems to have a good outlook and I really hope you'll be able to get the results you want soon.

 

SunnySkies - I agree with having to be your own advocate in this.  In no way am I an expert, but for everything that I have been through and experienced with the journey I feel like I might be a bit more informed about me personally than how the Dr. sees me at times.  Yes they've got the school and experience, but at times I feel like I'm just another statistic to them.  Maybe like you, it's because I want to know why.  I don't like going through this blind.  Give me reasons!  And if they don't have a reason then give me options.  I want to look into things and make sure I am comfortable about them before blindly trusting.

And that's crazy your AMH practically doubled.  Did you have any major chances in your life recently?  Extra stress?  Like returnable mentioned, each labs results might vary, but that's a big change!

 

AFM, we went in for our IUI on Friday and then followed it up with an extra one on Saturday morning.  I am pretty sure I had already ovulated by then, but I need to know I did everything possible.  Plus DH's fresh sample on Friday was horrible.  The lab called us and asked us to go see them right away.  We knew something was up, but when they told us he only had 7, I didn't understand what the big deal was.  7 million is lower than his typical 9 million, but still, 7 million wasn't so bad.  Then they corrected me and said that it wasn't 7 million, but 7 sperm.  Total.  Ugh.  We thankfully had some frozen still so were able to use that, but now we're out of frozen. Hopefully DH was having an off weekend and we can replenish our frozen again.

[ImpatientlyWaiting]

I finally got the call from my clinic explaining why my Dr. didn't want to convert to IUI, a little late since my IUI's were Friday/Saturday, but better late than never I guess?

 

Apparently on Wednesday my lining was only 6.58 and my Dr. thought this wouldn't have enough time to thicken to a better number before implantation.  Hmmm, never thought of this as I have never had a problem with lining before....  And now the more I think of it, my IUI's did take place on day 9 and 10 of my cycle.  I remember when we used to track my ovulation or do mock cycles I would always ovulate later around CD 16 or 17.

[returnable]

ImpatientlyWaiting it's nice to have at least some feedback, but it would have been nicer if the Dr told you the reasoning in the first place. So sorry to hear about your DH's sperm. You were lucky to have a backup.

[SunnySkies]

Impatientlywaiting: So glad you had a back-up! I am hoping this IUI will work out for you. 

 

Things are going well here. Had a bit of a dramatic start on Friday evening. My husband (we decided he was going to do the injections after all) gave the first dose of gonal F, and right after that was done I fainted! So now he is holding the syringe in 1 hand, trying to make sure I don't fall of the chair with the other hand, and screaming for me to wake up again. I only remember feeling a little woozy when the syringe came out, but he said that my face just drained of blood in a split second and I fell backward. Maybe lasted a grand total of 5 seconds before I came back again.... and then we still had to do the menopur. That one might have been world's shakiest injection! But we got it done. Now we are in a better routine, where I just lay down on the couch, and he does the work. And it is actually really nice to do this as a team  

 

I went into the clinic again this morning, and I had already had 5 follicles on the ultrasound. The nurse said I am responding well, and I have to inject with centrotide and come back tomorrow for another ultrasound and blood work. So overall, things are well with me. I obviously don't like the injections and ultrasounds, but I am feeling okay and pretty relaxed throughout this whole process and I feel very supported by my husband. I have to admit I am only thinking about my follicles/eggs now, if this ever turns into a healthy baby is a worry for another day. I am just taking it a day at the time. 

 

As for my AMH. I didn't do anything different. I only take prenatal vitamins and eat a normal diet (which includes pizza and wine). The doctor says she is not going to change my cycle with this result. It was also measured at another clinic, so the change could be due to a different platform they measured on. My husband said "apparently you just have to relax about your AMH value" and then contemplated opening up his own lab to measure AMH, because clearly no one knows what they are actually measuring. 

[returnable]

SunnySkies thanks for cracking me up. I hope you weren't looking when he injected? I find the injections are less painful if you are sitting or if you do lie down to get your legs as if you are doing a sit-up to relax the skin and have less tension. Well it does for me. I'm not skinny, but am close to top end of normal weight range for my height, so being stretched out doesn't leave a lot of skin/fat to grab. When DH was doing my orgalutran injections in the mornings (while I was half asleep), I did that. Good thing too because the needle on those is supposedly quite large (I never looked) and definitely dull. Thank god I was mostly out of it because that one was a tough one to get in.

 

I am so glad your DH is helping. Honestly it makes him feel (and it is also true) a part of the process. Good for him for having the strength to do it. I know he wasn't too keen on it first. I'm also happy for you that you are responding well. I used to take a picture of the screen when they finished measuring, that way I could easily have the data (I love data). Just an idea if you want to keep a track of the development.

 

AMH does not vary with lifestyle modifications. Honestly it is not a perfect test and requires some interpretation and different labs may tweak their methods in different ways, so the number is not absolute. In the end it is not the "be all and end all" and they get most information based on your response to stimulation.

 

I'm still giggling about your DH screaming at you to wake up LOL. I love that we can take everything with perspective and see the humour in these things. It makes life more tolerable. And it is definitely a wonderful bonding experience for you and your DH. It was for us.

[SunnySkies]

Yeah, it is so important to keep laughing about the absurdity of things. As much as infertility sucks, it really brings us together as a couple and I am very happy that it is not only tears, but also some really bad jokes.

 

My husband said he lost years of his life over that 1 injection! Haha. Today getting my blood work done in the clinic went really well, so he said I probably got used to his lousy injection work over the weekend, and now it was a professional doing it. I also have to sit up a little bit to get a good grip on the belly fat. Not doing the sit up variant, but just hanging out on the couch version. 

 

I am normally very much a number and analysis person, but I am leaving it in the hands of my doctor for this one. Otherwise I would spent the whole day on google. So while I do my part with the injections and showing up in the clinic bright and early looking at least semi-professional, I am very happy to leave the actual decisions and hormone level calculations to my doctor. Right now, I just don't want to added stress to figure out whether my results or good or bad. 

[SunnySkies]

Just a quick update from me. I have 8 follicles as of this morning (6 on the left, 2 on the right). Not 100% sure on the sizes of them. The biggest one is already 20mm, so the nurse mentioned that this one might be sacrificed to allow other follicles to catch up, but we have to wait for the blood work to decide on that. Still feeling fine physically, no real side effects from the medication. I do have a big headache today, but I think it is stress related. I tend to get headaches when I am stressed, so I am just trying to sit this one out. 

 

Mentally I find it a but tougher now. I know 8 follicles is an okay number and in line with what the doctor predicted, but I was hoping to have some more. Just worried we'll lose them all: % immature, % not fertilized, % not dividing well etc etc. I guess very familiar feelings for everyone. But no other way of finding out if IVF is  going to work, than to actually do the IVF. And it will give us a better chance than just doing this thing "au naturel".   

[returnable]

SunnySkies, the way I dealt with IVF, is to take it one step at a time. Don't think 10 steps ahead. Right now you should be focused on growing. Next step will be ER and so on. Remember it only takes one, and don't stress yourself by "hoping for better". Honestly it only gets you down and you have no control over these things anyway. Be happy and thankful with every hurdle you pass. Also think through what your next focus will be if you do not pass the next test. That gives you the future to focus on and not the past. I think in the end you don't change the outcome, but the journey is a lot easier and you won't get yourself to absolute misery at the end.

 

Yes, there will be times in your journey where it will be hard, there will be tears, but keep thinking of where the next step is taking you.

[SunnySkies]

Thanks so much returnable. I really needed to hear those words.

 

One step at the time is the way to go. I was doing so well up till today, and suddenly I felt bad about my numbers. And you're right, there is nothing you can do about it anyways, apart from following the instructions from the clinic. So, today is just getting the injections done. Nothing more. 

 

We already decided we will do another IVF if this one will not work out. You mentioned a plan for the next phase a little while ago too, and that was such a good advice. We feel now that not everything depends on this 1 IVF. 

 

I also had my 50th blood draw this morning. Feels ultimately nerdy, but I have this excel file with all my treatments and medication. So tonight there will be cake to celebrate this achievement  

[returnable]

Thanks so much returnable. I really needed to hear those words.

 

One step at the time is the way to go. I was doing so well up till today, and suddenly I felt bad about my numbers. And you're right, there is nothing you can do about it anyways, apart from following the instructions from the clinic. So, today is just getting the injections done. Nothing more. 

 

We already decided we will do another IVF if this one will not work out. You mentioned a plan for the next phase a little while ago too, and that was such a good advice. We feel now that not everything depends on this 1 IVF. 

 

I also had my 50th blood draw this morning. Feels ultimately nerdy, but I have this excel file with all my treatments and medication. So tonight there will be cake to celebrate this achievement

 

And I thought I took the spreadsheet concept too far  Actually I only have a spreadsheet of the finances, tracking medication used, so that I can plan financially for the next cycle with a better prediction. I was also comparing costs of meds and how much I could save based on IU pens/vials and place where it was filled.

 

All the best with your injections and I hope you get good growth. Did they give you an idea of how many days you will stimm?

[ImpatientlyWaiting]

You guys are brilliant!  Why I have I never thought of a spreadsheet before?!  Everything is just crammed into my Notes on my phone and it doesn't even make sense to me anymore.

 

Seriously, I think you guys just gave me my next project.  I'm excited now!

[ImpatientlyWaiting]

Returnable, you've got some good wisdom in your words.

 

SunnySkies, though you may not have the results you wanted, you are definitely getting results. Focus on the positives.  You've got a small victory every day that you're done another day of meds and your follicles keep growing.

[returnable]

SunnySkies, how are you doing?

[SunnySkies]

I'm having my retrieval tomorrow morning! Things went really quickly and before I knew it I was ready to trigger.

Not sure on the # of follicles. Decided not to ask anymore. I'm just going with the flow and we'll see if where we'll end. Right now I'm happy that I made it to the retrieval stage, and also happy that I'm done all the injections.

[returnable]

Good luck in retrieval SunnySkies!

[SunnySkies]

Thanks returnable! I'm pretty nervous but also glad to get this out of the way.

[SunnySkies]

You guys are brilliant!  Why I have I never thought of a spreadsheet before?!  Everything is just crammed into my Notes on my phone and it doesn't even make sense to me anymore.
 
Seriously, I think you guys just gave me my next project.  I'm excited now!

How is your spreadsheet coming along?

[ImpatientlyWaiting]

Good luck today SunnySkies!  Hope everything goes smoothly!

 

And my spreadsheet has become overwhelming lol.  Seeing all the blood tests, results, cycles and numbers all in one place is a little depressing.  BUT, I like to be more organized so this is good!

[auroraB]

Good luck today sunnyskies!!!

 

returnable whats your new schedule/protocol like? I'm just wondering if we might be stimming together

[SunnySkies]

Hi ladies. I had 8 eggs retrieved today. It was a very good retrieval experience, just starting to feel more awake now. Not a lot of cramping now, but I'll have my hot water bottle close by. Now the bid wait for maturation, fertilization and growing begins. If we are lucky enough to have embryos they'll be frozen first.