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Donating left over frozen embryos

donation frozen embryo Beginnings

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#1 RebeccaG

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Posted 11 August 2016 - 07:30 AM

I am definitely putting the cart before the horse with this one, but if IVF is successful we are considering donating the leftover frozen embryos (if there are any) and I want to hear other peoples stories who have donated.

 

I know I can't toss them knowing so many people are struggling and knowing all the work that we've put in to making them - but I am a bit nervous about feelings I may have if the embryo takes.

 

I've been on Beginnings website, they offer the service, but it looks like we would be very involved (more than I anticipated).  I envisioned giving the embryos to the world and not knowing if they took or didn't but being open to being contacted later in life if the child wished.  But after reading beginnings website it seems as though you help pick parents, you are notified when the child is born and keep in touch with the parents.  I can't predict how I am going to feel.   Any information people may have will help!

 

Thanks in advance!

Rebecca


Sep 15, 2016 First IVF 1 embryo - 2 frozen

Sep 30, 2016 - Positive HCG preganancy test

Oct 5, 2016 -  HCG dropped embryo will not last

Oct 19, 2016 - Request to see endocrinologist

Oct 24, 2016 - Beginning Hashimoto Thyroiditis diet 

Nov 30, 2016 - Blood test to determine if diet helped

Nov 2016 - RE visit

Dec 5, 2016 - RESULTS Hashimotos Diet - for the first time in 10 years I need to lower my Thyroid medicine!!  The diet is working!

Jan 4, 2017 - Meeting with Conceptia - getting ready for FET.  Apparently we have 3 embryos left 2 - 4BB and 1 - 5BB.  Preparing to put one in (hopefully in March) waiting on thyroid testing.

Jan 31, 2017 Started BC - FET scheduled for March 14

 

 


#2 idream

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Posted 11 August 2016 - 09:12 AM

There are people posting on the donor and surrogacy thread, looking for embryos on a regular basis, there will be no shortage of people who want donor embryos.  Beginnings is more about embryo "adoption".   Your clinic might also have an embryo donation wait list.

 

Beginnings is a very expensive process for those wanting embryos. I remember researching it a few years ago and the cost would have been more then $10,000. Just to get the embryos.  


  • nervus optimist likes this

Tough Times Never Last, but Tough People Do


#3 amp77

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Posted 11 August 2016 - 09:32 AM

There are people posting on the donor and surrogacy thread, looking for embryos on a regular basis, there will be no storage of people who want donor embryos.  Beginnings is more about embryo "adoption".   Your clinic might also have an embryo donation wait list.

 

Beginnings is a very expensive process for those wanting embryos. I remember researching it a few years ago and the cost would have been more then $10,000. Just to get the

Wow, that is crazy.  If we are lucky enough to conceive and have extra from our frosties, I will also donate them, privately.


  • nervus optimist, idream and RebeccaG like this

Age 39, DH 43 in Oct.

TTC on and off since 2007 before our second IVF, in 2014, brought us our beautiful son.

 

FET #1 -  Sept 2016

Day 1 - Sept. 9

Monitoring - Sept. 18-22

Lining Check - Sept. 22 (11.3 mm)

Transferred 5B-BB Sept. 25 - BFP!!!  HCG 890 @ 12dp5dt and Progesterone 95.
Midwife appointment Sept. 19 and first ultrasound Nov. 4
3 Frosties left

 

<a href="https://lilypie.com/"><img src="https://lbdf.lilypie.com/9GKrm4.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Pregnancy tickers" /></a>

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Seems like forever ago...

 

Age 37, DH 40.

TTC on and off since 2007

Unexplained Infertility

 

IVF #1 - April 2014 - BFN - no frosties

 

IVF #2 - July 2014 - BFP - 5B-AB and 4 frosties (5B-BB, 2x4B-BB and 3B-BB)

Apr. 13, 2015 - Daniel Erik was born at 5:05 am, weight 8 lbs, 13 oz, and 22" long.  He is perfect in every way.

 

 


#4 idream

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Posted 11 August 2016 - 09:42 AM

 

There are people posting on the donor and surrogacy thread, looking for embryos on a regular basis, there will be no storage of people who want donor embryos.  Beginnings is more about embryo "adoption".   Your clinic might also have an embryo donation wait list.

 

Beginnings is a very expensive process for those wanting embryos. I remember researching it a few years ago and the cost would have been more then $10,000. Just to get the

Wow, that is crazy.  If we are lucky enough to conceive and have extra from our frosties, I will also donate them, privately.

 

 

The sad thing is that there are 100's of thousands of embryos sitting on ice. The parents don't want more children but they can't donate the embryos or destroy them.   IF only people would donate them to potential families in need......


Tough Times Never Last, but Tough People Do


#5 amp77

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Posted 11 August 2016 - 09:45 AM

 

 

There are people posting on the donor and surrogacy thread, looking for embryos on a regular basis, there will be no storage of people who want donor embryos.  Beginnings is more about embryo "adoption".   Your clinic might also have an embryo donation wait list.

 

Beginnings is a very expensive process for those wanting embryos. I remember researching it a few years ago and the cost would have been more then $10,000. Just to get the

Wow, that is crazy.  If we are lucky enough to conceive and have extra from our frosties, I will also donate them, privately.

 

 

The sad thing is that there are 100's of thousands of embryos sitting on ice. The parents don't want more children but they can't donate the embryos or destroy them.   IF only people would donate them to potential families in need.....

Agreed.  No way I could destroy them when there are so many people waiting for their miracle.


  • idream likes this

Age 39, DH 43 in Oct.

TTC on and off since 2007 before our second IVF, in 2014, brought us our beautiful son.

 

FET #1 -  Sept 2016

Day 1 - Sept. 9

Monitoring - Sept. 18-22

Lining Check - Sept. 22 (11.3 mm)

Transferred 5B-BB Sept. 25 - BFP!!!  HCG 890 @ 12dp5dt and Progesterone 95.
Midwife appointment Sept. 19 and first ultrasound Nov. 4
3 Frosties left

 

<a href="https://lilypie.com/"><img src="https://lbdf.lilypie.com/9GKrm4.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Pregnancy tickers" /></a>

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Seems like forever ago...

 

Age 37, DH 40.

TTC on and off since 2007

Unexplained Infertility

 

IVF #1 - April 2014 - BFN - no frosties

 

IVF #2 - July 2014 - BFP - 5B-AB and 4 frosties (5B-BB, 2x4B-BB and 3B-BB)

Apr. 13, 2015 - Daniel Erik was born at 5:05 am, weight 8 lbs, 13 oz, and 22" long.  He is perfect in every way.

 

 


#6 nervus optimist

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Posted 11 August 2016 - 10:41 AM

I was the lucky recipient of donor embryos. There are several different avenues that a couple can choose in donating embryos. Many clinics will make the arrangements, as well a couple of adoption agencies, and a couple of fertility/adoption lawyers. Any way you slice it there would be no fee to the donor/donor couple and the donors would have the choice in terms of how much openness they would want in the process. I completely understand about not wanting to have openness hearing about birthdays, seeing pictures, meeting the recipients etc, but some people feel strongly that they want some or all of that, so I think having the choice is a wonderful thing. At the same time it may be worthwhile considering the perspective of any child born through embryo donation, may one day have questions about the donors that made their life possible, would you consider being open to answering those questions for that child as they grew up?

 

I can say wholeheartedly that embryo donation is the most wonderful gift a couple can receive. It comes at a time when we've given up on absolutely anything ever working and for one reason or another we look at each other and say, 'maybe we should give this a try.... maybe a miracle will happen'.

 

As a side note, my personal preference is not to refer to unused embryos as leftover. Just a personal preference.

 

Great topic

:flowers:


  • gibasgirl, Highest hopes, amp77 and 2 others like this

I am 37, DH - 38
Genetic - IVF&PGD to prevent Genetic Disorder
IVF #1 - Nov/08 - MC @ 6 weeks, no embryos frozen
IVF #2 - Aug/09 - bfn
IUI #1 - Feb/10 - ectopic
PRIDE - Apr/10
Homestudy - July/10
Given the gift of donor embryos - Jan/12
Donor FET Jun/12 - 9 weeks - no heartbeat... MC
Donor FET Oct/12 - we're PG biggrin.png

===> Beautiful baby boy born 2013 babyboy.gif

Donor FET Oct/16 - chemical


#7 SunshineTTC

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Posted 11 August 2016 - 11:12 AM

As said above, many clinics will coordinate the donation of embryos with you.  Ask your clinic when the time comes.  Best of luck to you.


  • gibasgirl and idream like this

Me: 40 41 42 43, single, FSH 6, LH 2 (FSH not high, but exceeds 2:1 ratio), DOR (AFC 5-7, v.low AMH), all else normal/healthy.

 


#8 RebeccaG

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Posted 11 August 2016 - 11:40 AM

I didn't see leftover as a "negative term" as it just describes the situation - I will be using some and not others (possibly).  But now I can see unused being a better description - Thank You - . As I indicated I am open to answering questions if the unused embryo took and the child one day chose to meet.  But I am trying to gage what types of feelings to expect when I hear that a little boy or girl  - blood sibling to my own is born.  This is why I think I might be more comfortable with space in the beginning. I don't want to be constantly thinking about this little one or feel a heavy heart wondering and wondering who she or he is and are they similar to my child.  I guess I am looking for more information concerning how the person who donated the embryo felt once the child was born.  If they experienced strong moments where they wished that had chosen to use another embryo or if they were happy just helping this others.

 

After reading these posts - I would hate to see someone pay $10,000.00 for a chance of the embryo working so if I find a way to do it without Beginnings we will go that route.

 

Thank you to everyone for the thoughts and information.


  • nervus optimist likes this

Sep 15, 2016 First IVF 1 embryo - 2 frozen

Sep 30, 2016 - Positive HCG preganancy test

Oct 5, 2016 -  HCG dropped embryo will not last

Oct 19, 2016 - Request to see endocrinologist

Oct 24, 2016 - Beginning Hashimoto Thyroiditis diet 

Nov 30, 2016 - Blood test to determine if diet helped

Nov 2016 - RE visit

Dec 5, 2016 - RESULTS Hashimotos Diet - for the first time in 10 years I need to lower my Thyroid medicine!!  The diet is working!

Jan 4, 2017 - Meeting with Conceptia - getting ready for FET.  Apparently we have 3 embryos left 2 - 4BB and 1 - 5BB.  Preparing to put one in (hopefully in March) waiting on thyroid testing.

Jan 31, 2017 Started BC - FET scheduled for March 14

 

 


#9 hs4816

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Posted 11 August 2016 - 12:02 PM

While donation is an amazing, selfless gift, not everybody chooses to. Some choose to destroy or donate to research or leave frozen. Important to realize that all couples make carefully thought out decisions that are best for them.

The most important thing I'd recommend for you at this point is to wait and be 1000000% sure you're done expanding your family. It doesn't hurt the embryos to leave them on ice and you can always donate them later. This IVF journey is often filled with sad surprises you didn't expect and you find yourself in a situation where your frozen embies are needed for your own use.

Best of luck
  • nervus optimist, gibasgirl, Highest hopes and 3 others like this

I'm 39 with endo

 

IVF #1: March 2016: Long protocol: Suprefact (200)/Menopur (225)

    9 follicles => 4 eggs => 3 mature => 3 fertilized (ICSI) => 2 blasts (one transferred, one frozen)

    BFN

 

IVF #2: June 2016: Microdose flare: Suprefact (40 BID)/Menopur (150)/ Gonal (300)

     7-10 follicles (?) => 12 mature eggs => only 4 fertilized w/ICSI => transferred 2 @ 3days and 1 blast frozen

     BFP:  day 14 beta = 93, day 18 beta 557 (37h doubling time)

     Ultrasound July 21 = single, live intrauterine pregnancy

     .... so hopeful it sticks!

 

 

 


#10 Highest hopes

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Posted 11 August 2016 - 01:57 PM

I understand Rebecca, you want to know own in your mind and heart what you would do so you feel comfortable proceeding now. Know that you will be able to make whatever arrangement you feel comfortable with at the time.
  • RebeccaG likes this
Dx: Age (40+) & Endometriosis & Tubal & DNA fragmentation

IUI & IVF & FET = BFN
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#11 nervus optimist

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Posted 11 August 2016 - 02:36 PM

I guess I should clarify that I don't particularly see leftover as a bad term either, and I can see that that is how people may feel about the embryos that they hadn't used, but I would hate for my son to ever feel like he was a 'leftover'. And though I know you didn't for one second feel or say anything at all like that, language is a funny thing. Perhaps I'm overly sensitive to the issue. But my son will always know that his embryo was created out of love for the journey towards parenthood, and his embryo was gifted to us for the same reason. Anyways, now I'm rambling.

 

Thanks for listening

:flowers:


  • gibasgirl, mountainchick, amp77 and 3 others like this

I am 37, DH - 38
Genetic - IVF&PGD to prevent Genetic Disorder
IVF #1 - Nov/08 - MC @ 6 weeks, no embryos frozen
IVF #2 - Aug/09 - bfn
IUI #1 - Feb/10 - ectopic
PRIDE - Apr/10
Homestudy - July/10
Given the gift of donor embryos - Jan/12
Donor FET Jun/12 - 9 weeks - no heartbeat... MC
Donor FET Oct/12 - we're PG biggrin.png

===> Beautiful baby boy born 2013 babyboy.gif

Donor FET Oct/16 - chemical


#12 SunshineTTC

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Posted 12 August 2016 - 12:50 AM

There are a few women on these forums who have done open embryo donations through a clinic -- both donors and receivers of embryos.  Their screen names aren't coming to me at the moment, but maybe someone else can help out?

 

Note that it is illegal to pay for eggs/sperm/embryos in Canada.  The "agencies" operate in a grey area of the law, whereby it's not illegal to pay an agency to coordinate the donation... (but it's also not necessary to use an agency, and I think for embryo donation most people do not).


  • nervus optimist likes this

Me: 40 41 42 43, single, FSH 6, LH 2 (FSH not high, but exceeds 2:1 ratio), DOR (AFC 5-7, v.low AMH), all else normal/healthy.

 


#13 nervus optimist

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Posted 12 August 2016 - 11:04 AM

Oh, I forgot to mention that in our case our embryo donation is completely closed. ie private. We know virtually nothing other than basic medical history about our son's embryo donors and from what I understand they know nothing about us. It is the only way our clinic does it.Given the choice I would have liked a tiny bit more, so that my son can have questions answered when he's ready. Perhaps one day that might happen.

 

:flowers:


  • RebeccaG likes this

I am 37, DH - 38
Genetic - IVF&PGD to prevent Genetic Disorder
IVF #1 - Nov/08 - MC @ 6 weeks, no embryos frozen
IVF #2 - Aug/09 - bfn
IUI #1 - Feb/10 - ectopic
PRIDE - Apr/10
Homestudy - July/10
Given the gift of donor embryos - Jan/12
Donor FET Jun/12 - 9 weeks - no heartbeat... MC
Donor FET Oct/12 - we're PG biggrin.png

===> Beautiful baby boy born 2013 babyboy.gif

Donor FET Oct/16 - chemical


#14 SunshineTTC

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Posted 12 August 2016 - 01:54 PM

On the flip side, I think VFC encourages open embryo donation as much as possible, so seems like there are definitely differences between clinics if you are looking for different options.


  • mountainchick likes this

Me: 40 41 42 43, single, FSH 6, LH 2 (FSH not high, but exceeds 2:1 ratio), DOR (AFC 5-7, v.low AMH), all else normal/healthy.

 


#15 SecondAct

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Posted 16 August 2016 - 11:01 AM

If you want embryo donation, you can choose how much contact you want.  Beware though that agreements about openness are unenforceable so you really need to be sure the people want the openness you want.  It helps if they have been counselled and vetted first.  This is one reason we will consider going through an agency like Beginnings if we donate our embryos.  The other reason is that our clinic has anonymous donation but they don't do any background checks.  I could not get comfortable to donating to people who were chosen anonymously and solely based on where they are on a list.  You have to do what is right for you.


  • RebeccaG likes this

#16 RebeccaG

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Posted 18 August 2016 - 07:06 AM

If you want embryo donation, you can choose how much contact you want.  Beware though that agreements about openness are unenforceable so you really need to be sure the people want the openness you want.  It helps if they have been counselled and vetted first.  This is one reason we will consider going through an agency like Beginnings if we donate our embryos.  The other reason is that our clinic has anonymous donation but they don't do any background checks.  I could not get comfortable to donating to people who were chosen anonymously and solely based on where they are on a list.  You have to do what is right for you.

Thank you - I find this information helpful!


Sep 15, 2016 First IVF 1 embryo - 2 frozen

Sep 30, 2016 - Positive HCG preganancy test

Oct 5, 2016 -  HCG dropped embryo will not last

Oct 19, 2016 - Request to see endocrinologist

Oct 24, 2016 - Beginning Hashimoto Thyroiditis diet 

Nov 30, 2016 - Blood test to determine if diet helped

Nov 2016 - RE visit

Dec 5, 2016 - RESULTS Hashimotos Diet - for the first time in 10 years I need to lower my Thyroid medicine!!  The diet is working!

Jan 4, 2017 - Meeting with Conceptia - getting ready for FET.  Apparently we have 3 embryos left 2 - 4BB and 1 - 5BB.  Preparing to put one in (hopefully in March) waiting on thyroid testing.

Jan 31, 2017 Started BC - FET scheduled for March 14

 

 


#17 LifeUnpaged

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Posted 06 October 2016 - 07:44 AM

We plan to try for 2-3 and if there are any left over donating to another couple is our first choice. I am not sure about choosing who will parent your embryos but I guess it does provide some peace of mind that they are being raised by decent people because of background checks. In my mind I chose to start these little lives so they deserve a chance.

 

Our next choice is research, though a little more reluctantly. The idea being they will at least be of some benefit.

 

The idea of destroying them is the least acceptable option for me, it makes me the most uncomfortable.

 

Everyone is different and our RE was shocked at how easily we said "We'd donate them of course" DH and I hadn't even discussed it but we were on the same wavelength.


Undergoing IVF with PGD to prevent passing on Neurofibromatosis Type 1

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heart.gif Our Journey:heart.gif 

 

??/??/10 -  I am diagnosed with Neurofibromatosis Type 1, we discover I have a 50% chance of passing it on. Upon learning more about the   disorder we decide IVF with PGD would be our route to have kids in order to prevent passing it on. We consult with Dr. Haebe at  OFC to learn more, but aren't yet ready to start. We make a plan to save up.

 

  • 06/02/12 - Our Wedding Day!
  • 12/??/15 - Ontario announced funded IVF cycles, we can get the ball rolling!
  • 11/25/15 - Consultation @ OFC.
  • 01/08/16 - IVF and PGD Consent Signed for Ontario Funded Cycle. (We pay for the PGD)
  • 01/14/16 - Nurses received chart, put on wait list for funded IVF. 
  • 05/26/16 - Name came up on wait list, OHIP consents received! 
  • 09/21/16 - Genesis completed gene probe, ready for embies! Awaiting call from scheduling nurse.
  • 09/30/16 - Start BCP for 21 days, Booked to start Stims (Antagonist Protocol) on October 28th
  • 10/28/16 - Start Gonal F pen injections 150 iu
  • 11/07/16 - Egg retrieval, 34 eggs retrieved, 17 mature
  • 11/08/16 - 12 eggs fertilized, letting them grow to day 5
  • 11/13/16 -  5 embryos biopsied and frozen - awaiting PGD testing results
  • 12/??/16 -  One embryo tested positive for Neurofobromatosis gene mutation. Genesis to re-biopsy to ensure probe is working
  • 01/12/17 -  Results for re-biopsy received, meeting with Dr. Haebe tomorrow to discuss.
  • 01/13/17 - Results are good, mock cycle is the next step before transferring one of our 4 healthy embabies!

 

 

 

 

 

 






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