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Just need to vent...

IVF

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#1 brittanyosberg

brittanyosberg
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Posted 26 April 2016 - 04:05 PM

Hey guys,

 

its been a couple years since I have been on here, last time I was I was doing a FET which resulted in a chemical pregnancy. Since then my husband and I decided to take a break and focus on other things in life such as work, and building a house and all that goes with that.

 

Anyways so now its been 2 years since we have really talked about anything baby related and lately it seems like its all I can think of but we are not even close to being able to afford it and i'm now 30 which is making me panic more and I know at least 4 pregnant women right now and I just can't help but feel lost.

 

Its so hard that there is no funding (I live in Calgary) and my husband and I make pretty good money and in this economy having a job is more than some, its so frustrating. People say things to me like, just save your money - do you know how hard it is to save 13K when you don't have a surplus of extra income? and things come up, vehicle maintenance, sick pets, husband gets sick and has to take time off work.. life happens in the midst of wanting something so bad that you can't imagine never having it yet living with the reality that you probably never will.. yes can we scrape every penny aside and eat hot dogs everyday just to save, sure.. but that would still take us 2 years to save, I don't shop everyday, I don't buy frivolous things that are a waste of money, we are also trying to pay off debt from our younger years and trying to ensure a good future ahead.

 

I feel this Massive guilt (its 100% my body that's broken - my DH is healthy) I have tried to leave my DH so he can start over with someone who can have babies, but the bugger wont let me LOL - he's a good one. Its so frustrating, i'm just so sad.

 

I have been very strong with my infertility, thankfully I know exactly why I can't get pregnant so that comes with some comfort and understanding - unknown would be so difficult - so with that I am very vocal about infertility and how it affects me and talk to people all the time, whoever will listen just get the word out there. but for whatever reason (I think since I now know so many preggos at once) I came home yesterday and my DH just say " OH! __________ is pregnant" and I literally said nothing, let that sink in for 1 second and had a serious mental breakdown and started bawling like a little kid. I couldn't control it - its like I stayed strong so long that was the straw that broke the camels back and I just collapsed, it was awful, my DH and I ended in a argument (he admits now he didn't handle that situation well at all) [mind you I have never reacted that way to that news before] and it was terrible and we talked a lot last night and just realize that we have to stay the course and focus on what we plan to do, get out of debt then weigh our options. that's 3 years.. THREE YEARS!!! Ill be 33.. the doc told me that my ovary is aging quicker than I am :( im so afraid if we wait it will be too late but we have no money!!!

 

Ugh I am just so sad, not crying has been an all day battle today and I just feel sick.. I don't understand how even medical plans can't cover SOMETHING...

 

im going to leave it there - im sure none of that makes any sense I just needed to vent so bad, I don't like to keep things in and unfortunately am stuck at work so I need some release of this frustration!!

 

B

 

Ps. I am truly very happy for our friends who are pregnant.


DW: 30

DH: 33

TTC: 2011

Ovarian cyst 2008 (lost right ovary and fallopian tube)

Ectopic pregnancy 2011 (tube ruptured - lost fallopian tube) uterus and left ovary remain OK

No hope for natural conception with no fallopian tubes - looking into IVF options

1st IVF cycle 2012 - 6 embryo's, transferred 1  - no result - froze 2 lost 3

FET cycle 2013 - transferred 2 frozen embryo's - chemical pregnancy

March 2016 - Undecided what our next steps are, at a loss with no funding available

May 2016 - signed up for Effortless IVF and set to start IVF in Oct 2016!!

Oct 2016 - Had to withdrawal from EIVF due to low AMH levels, recommend egg donor - looking into options

 

 

 

 


#2 quandry

quandry

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Posted 26 April 2016 - 04:10 PM

Have you looked into refinancing your mortgage? Know for many women here, that is how they find the extra money for treatments. Also if you own a home you can get a line of credit. As well there are financing companies out there that give loans for ivf if all else fails.

I'm so sorry you are struggling and I hope you find your peace regardless of what happens in the future...

See about me page.

 

 


#3 brittanyosberg

brittanyosberg
  • Member
  • 7 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Dx:Injury
  • My Clinic:RFP

Posted 26 April 2016 - 04:56 PM

we have talked about taking out a loan, however 1) that defeats the purpose of getting out of debt 2) my DH believes that if it were to fail us for a 3rd time and we had to make that payment for the next year or two it would just continuously be a remainder.. so he won't do it

 

we just moved into our house a year ago, I doubt refinancing would give us much

 

thank you - I know its frustrating for everyone


DW: 30

DH: 33

TTC: 2011

Ovarian cyst 2008 (lost right ovary and fallopian tube)

Ectopic pregnancy 2011 (tube ruptured - lost fallopian tube) uterus and left ovary remain OK

No hope for natural conception with no fallopian tubes - looking into IVF options

1st IVF cycle 2012 - 6 embryo's, transferred 1  - no result - froze 2 lost 3

FET cycle 2013 - transferred 2 frozen embryo's - chemical pregnancy

March 2016 - Undecided what our next steps are, at a loss with no funding available

May 2016 - signed up for Effortless IVF and set to start IVF in Oct 2016!!

Oct 2016 - Had to withdrawal from EIVF due to low AMH levels, recommend egg donor - looking into options

 

 

 

 






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