#1
Posted 24 April 2016 - 05:26 PM
- juice likes this
#2
Posted 24 April 2016 - 06:14 PM
- kristeen033, OK4, Seem14 and 1 other like this
Charity gives a meal; justice provides a place at the table.
#3
Posted 24 April 2016 - 06:36 PM
As for your mil, who says she, or anyone else (child included) needs to know? We chose not to tell anyone when we decided on de. Plain and simple. We knew ppl would not approve so why involve them.
- gibasgirl, kristeen033, CrisBelieve and 1 other like this
See about me page.
#4
Posted 24 April 2016 - 06:57 PM
I fully agree with quandry on epigenetics as well. My husband has brown eyes, donor has blue eyes, and I have green eyes and amazingly my daughter has green eyes that look just like mine.
- dawnkey, CrisBelieve and CdnHockeyGal like this
#5
Posted 24 April 2016 - 06:59 PM
- gibasgirl, CrisBelieve and CdnHockeyGal like this
See about me page.
#6
Posted 25 April 2016 - 12:18 PM
I have not had any personal experience but I do believe that even though you use DE part of you is in that child. Your blood and your body grew that baby for 9 months so of course your blood is in their veins Hope that makes you feel a bit better. Good luck to you <3
Me: 37, Tubal Ligation 2002, Tubal Reversal 2008
DH: 34, Normal
DS 16yrs & DD 14yrs from previous marriage
Trying for 7 years
November 2009 - BFP - Chemical Pregnancy
September 2011 - Clomid 3 rounds all BFN
March 2012 - Start IVF #1 at RFP in Calgary
April 2012 - 16 eggs retrieved, 14 fertilized, 8 5 day blasts
Transfered 1 hatching blast - BFP!!!!! 7 blasts frozen.
May 2012 - 7 week U/S - baby measured good and had heartbeat
June 2012 - Stopped Prometrium 10 weeks, started bleeding 3 days later, U/S showed baby died right after 7 week U/S
August 25, 2012 - Start Suprefact for FET #1
September 8, 2012 - Start Estrace
September 21, 2012 - U/S Booked!
September 26, 2012 - FET Transferred one perfect blast. F/X
October 6, 2012 - 10dp5dt BFFN
October 9, 2012 - POAS test at Doctor's Office BFN
November 27, 2012 - Start Suprefact for FET #2
December 29, 2012 - U/S Booked
January 3, 2013 - Transferred One Hatching Blast!!! Still have 3 more in the freezer
January 10, 2013 - 7dp5dt - HPT - BFP!!!!!!
January 15, 2013 - Beta 96
January 17, 2013 - Beta 16 = Chemical Pregnancy
January 19, 2013 - FRER HPT - BFFN
June 6, 2013 - FET #3 - Starting Suprefact...hoping third time is the charm!
July 3, 2013 - U/S Booked
July 9, 2013 - FET date!!!
July 20, 2013 - 11dp5dt HPT = BFN
July 2014 - Fresh IVF Cycle Estrogen Priming Protocol
August 2, 2014 - 24 eggs retrieved!
August 3, 2014 - 11 Eggs fertilized
August 7, 2014 - Transferred 1 beautiful blast. 3 more frozen.
August 8, 2014 - Got call from clinic 6 more blasts frozen!!! 9 snow babies total and one in the oven
August 20, 2014 - First beta BFN
February 1, 2015 - FET Natural Cycle - Transferred 2 blasts one hatched. FXFX!!!
February 6, 2015 - POAS even though I know it's early...and surprise...BFP!!!!
February 10, 2015 - 9dp5dt - BFP on Clearblue Digital!!!!!
February 19, 2015 - Beta 8928!!!! EDD Oct 23/15
March 7, 2015 - Ultrasound shows TWINS!!!! 2 little beans measuring 8 weeks with two little flutters for heartbeats
March 31, 2015 - 11 Weeks U/S. Baby A measures 11w3d Baby B measures 11w5d!!!!
May 2015 - 5 month ultrasound. Both babies look fantastic!!!! TEAM GREEN!!!
October 5, 2015 - C-Section date booked to meet my little babes!!! Can't wait the countdown is on!!!!!
September 19, 2015 - Babies decided to make an early appearance at 35 weeks 4 days!!!
Connor Melvin - Born 5:11am weighing 4lb15oz
Emily May - Born 5:13am weighing 5lb8oz
We are so in love!
#7
Posted 25 April 2016 - 11:11 PM
Hello girls! I'm 44, I was diagnosed with early climax at 36. My doctor told me that reserves of eggs in ovaries depleted. I met my husband when I was 30. We've been always dreaming about children. This 'news' about my health shocked us. We are in complete perplexity! Adoption is not an option for us. So the only solution is IVF with donor eggs. My husband looks positively on this procedure. And II don't know. I understand that this child won't be mine. My husband will be a father, some woman will be a mother and who will I be? Some woman, who gave birth. And what if this child wants to find his real mother? Also we have told nothing to parents of my husband. If his mother get to know that we want to use donor egg she will kill me!She doesn't like me at all. Each family dinner she asks me 'When will I see my grandchildren?',' Don't you want to become a mother?',' Why don't you want to have children from my son?',' You're getting older, don't you think it's time?' I'm sorry, I know she's my mother in law, but I want to punch her in her face. So donation is my only chance to become a mother and to shut the mouth of my mother in law. But I have so many doubts! Will I love this child? Even if I give him/her birth, will it feel like my own? Recently I saw program on tv about children from donor eggs. One girl was looking for a donor, who donated egg to her mother. I can't even imagine how painful this situation is for mother of this girl! She gave everything to this child. She gave her life to maintain and care about this girl. She considered her like her own daughter. And here is gratitude Maybe someone can shed light on egg donation? How do you feel about your child after the procedure? Do you have regrets? Thank you for attention)
I totally hear where you're coming from. I have the exact same thoughts. It's definitely a process to get through. I personally so not get along with my MIL either so much that she was crying and wanting me to console her in my kitchen before I left for work because she was sad I couldn't give her son a child. The last person I want knowing that I may use donor eggs is her. I also feel horrible that I may never give my father a grandchild that can carry on our family tree. Its all a huge thing to deal with and it is so important to have a good support system or at least somone to talk to about your concers. I have looked up epigenetics and I actually couldn't find a bunch of research on it but there is some. So that's something to look into for sure.
Good luck with your journey.
IVF - Oct 2015 bfn
FET - Dec 2015 Dec 22 beta @ 27 chemical
IVF 2 - Feb 2016 BFP BETA 56, chemical
IVF 3 (last attempt) - June 2016 -??
#8
Posted 28 April 2016 - 06:30 AM
Hello girls! I'm 44, I was diagnosed with early climax at 36. My doctor told me that reserves of eggs in ovaries depleted. I met my husband when I was 30. We've been always dreaming about children. This 'news' about my health shocked us. We are in complete perplexity! Adoption is not an option for us. So the only solution is IVF with donor eggs. My husband looks positively on this procedure. And II don't know. I understand that this child won't be mine. My husband will be a father, some woman will be a mother and who will I be? Some woman, who gave birth. And what if this child wants to find his real mother? Also we have told nothing to parents of my husband. If his mother get to know that we want to use donor egg she will kill me!She doesn't like me at all. Each family dinner she asks me 'When will I see my grandchildren?',' Don't you want to become a mother?',' Why don't you want to have children from my son?',' You're getting older, don't you think it's time?' I'm sorry, I know she's my mother in law, but I want to punch her in her face. So donation is my only chance to become a mother and to shut the mouth of my mother in law. But I have so many doubts! Will I love this child? Even if I give him/her birth, will it feel like my own? Recently I saw program on tv about children from donor eggs. One girl was looking for a donor, who donated egg to her mother. I can't even imagine how painful this situation is for mother of this girl! She gave everything to this child. She gave her life to maintain and care about this girl. She considered her like her own daughter. And here is gratitude Maybe someone can shed light on egg donation? How do you feel about your child after the procedure? Do you have regrets? Thank you for attention)
hi sweet, I understand your concerns I've been on your place not long time ago. You shouldn't think that you will only bear a child, you will be mother may be even more that anyone because you want this child so much and you will care about him or her! there are so many people who ask for help of reproductive clinics, for surrogacy and egg donation. You can keep it as a secret. I think if your husband supports you his mother will accept it too. His mum shouldn't tell you things like that! I know women like her, you need to be strong.
Why do you think you will not love the child? I'm waiting for my first attempt at the clinic. I choose the girl donor who doesn't like me at all but I don’t care about this, the most important is health and gen set! I know I will love my child more than anyone in the world.
If you want you can text me coz I already deal with the feeling you have now.
Please be strong and don't give up xx
#9
Posted 29 April 2016 - 11:05 PM
So sorry for your monster-in-law... my previous mil was just that. She used to be nasty about no children as well, but didn't stop to think that the problem was that her POS son dragged me through the wringer saying yes to kids, then excuse after excuse, and then mental abuse. I emerged thankfully and am now happily remarried.
Anyhow back to the subject at hand... if my DE IVF son wishes to find out about his conception, his biological mother, I would not stop him. He needs to feel confident in his identity and so if that day ever happens, I will be open and honest with him. Anonymity for the donor might be okay for the most part, but some donors actually are not entirely honest about their health or the health of their lineage and so should a DE IVF child show up with a hereditary illness, it may become necessary anyway to disclose the donor and/or allow your child to be in contact with her.
I won't be surprised one bit if my DE IVF son one day says to me "Mom, why do I not look at all like you?" because children are curious and peers can be cruel too and tease him that his mom is Asian and he is not. I never want him to feel ashamed of where he came from. I want him to know that he was our miracle child that we wished, dreamed and prayed for for 10 long and painful years. It used to bother me during the pregnancy and for a year after he was born him not having my full genetics, but now that is a distant little blip in my mind because the love I have for him just grows stronger each and every second of every day . Our donor was known to us remotely. One Mother's Day I texted her and thanked her for giving me this day to celebrate. Her words I will always cherish in my heart, "Every woman deserves to be a mom" .
So, try not to worry about the what-ifs because trust me, the what-ifs fade into the distance as you see what once was a little bud grown into a little person, hear their laughter, their giggles and see the awe on the face when they discover something new. Our little boy has been diagnosed with a learning disability just recently and those thoughts about his genetics have surfaced a wee bit, but accordingly I have put them out of my mind because the most important thing is to try to help our little guy navigate through the hurdles in life that he has... he needs us, his parents, his advocates, not the donor... and that's all that matters right now.
- juice likes this
#10
Posted 30 April 2016 - 03:43 PM
So sorry for your monster-in-law... my previous mil was just that. She used to be nasty about no children as well, but didn't stop to think that the problem was that her POS son dragged me through the wringer saying yes to kids, then excuse after excuse, and then mental abuse. I emerged thankfully and am now happily remarried.
Anyhow back to the subject at hand... if my DE IVF son wishes to find out about his conception, his biological mother, I would not stop him. He needs to feel confident in his identity and so if that day ever happens, I will be open and honest with him. Anonymity for the donor might be okay for the most part, but some donors actually are not entirely honest about their health or the health of their lineage and so should a DE IVF child show up with a hereditary illness, it may become necessary anyway to disclose the donor and/or allow your child to be in contact with her.
I won't be surprised one bit if my DE IVF son one day says to me "Mom, why do I not look at all like you?" because children are curious and peers can be cruel too and tease him that his mom is Asian and he is not. I never want him to feel ashamed of where he came from. I want him to know that he was our miracle child that we wished, dreamed and prayed for for 10 long and painful years. It used to bother me during the pregnancy and for a year after he was born him not having my full genetics, but now that is a distant little blip in my mind because the love I have for him just grows stronger each and every second of every day . Our donor was known to us remotely. One Mother's Day I texted her and thanked her for giving me this day to celebrate. Her words I will always cherish in my heart, "Every woman deserves to be a mom" .
So, try not to worry about the what-ifs because trust me, the what-ifs fade into the distance as you see what once was a little bud grown into a little person, hear their laughter, their giggles and see the awe on the face when they discover something new. Our little boy has been diagnosed with a learning disability just recently and those thoughts about his genetics have surfaced a wee bit, but accordingly I have put them out of my mind because the most important thing is to try to help our little guy navigate through the hurdles in life that he has... he needs us, his parents, his advocates, not the donor... and that's all that matters right now.
Hi Boywonder! Can you please send me a PM? I'd like to ask you some questions
me - 45.5, husband - 43.5
1 natural pregnancy but m/c in June 2011
7 failed IUIs, 3 medicated and 4 non-medicated, all BFN
I was a poor responder to the meds, only produced 1 viable egg so I'm not a candidate for IVF
Suffering deeply, watching all my friends get pregnant and raise kids.
No one in my immediate circle of friends and family who has gone through this so forums are amazingly helpful.
Dec 2013 - have chosen a donor with San Diego Fertility Center and have begun the process. If all goes well we'll get me preggo in April 2014. IF all goes well...
It DIDN'T go well - our donor failed her genetic testing. It took MORE exhausting searches 24/7 to find another we liked, and finally she's passed and good to go. IF all goes well we'll go down to SDFC mid-June 2014 for the egg transfer and get me pregnant..if all goes well...if... if... if... so many letdowns cannot allow me to be hopeful, just wait and see...
June 2014 Went to SDFC, everything went smoothly. Well, kind of...family stuff... but transfer went well
July 16 2014 did blood test...BFP Wow. First time, feeling a lot emotions and crying uncontrollably for last 48 hours.
Hoping it sticks. That's all for now.
Aug 11 first u/s - TWINS. omg....good size, good heartbeat. I'm terrified.
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