This is a thread for infertility veterans. The ones who tried and tried and tried. The ones who have been stuck on the sidelines watching the parade go by.
The experience of infertility changes over time. For many the experience is brief enough that no major harm is done to their hope and sense of self, but the experience may haunt them.
This thread, however, is for the ones infertility left behind.
The ones for whom thinking positively never worked. The ones who were inspired and motivated by the good fortunes of others, but remain childless. The ones who did "one last cycle" five times but still have empty arms. The ones who can't admit to how many cycles they have actually done in secret. The ones who try to forget their due dates. The ones for whom good wishes simply wash over them like a beautiful foreign language they used to speak long ago, but no longer understand.
I was moved by a blog about grief, shattering, and moving on,
For a small segment of us we reach a point where we have to stop and walk away from our dream of parenthood.
It's not easy. There is a mourning period and you have to build a new house for your new normal in a world that has been turned upside down.
ART and adoption is not for the faint of heart. We all enter this place from a perspective of hope: the hope of finding true and lasting love and the hope of building a family.
When it doesn't happen initially, we turn to our doctors for help and are given the solution IUI/IVF and move forward with hope and a feeling in our hearts that it will work out as planned.
For many it does work out that way.
For a few it takes several attempts to find the magic.
For a small number, the dream is elusive.
We have different exit points or emotional and financial limits but our dreams still live inside of us.