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2016 Donor Buddies Thread

donor egg donor sperm ivf iui surrogacy

271 replies to this topic

#251 EverHopefull!

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Posted 04 January 2017 - 06:09 PM

Mine was the same as ILMD's.  We talked our clinic into letting us do the counseling locally though, (we also have to take a full day off to travel to/from appointments), so I only had to go three times (baseline u/s, confirmation of lining thickness, and transfer day).  DH went once to do his bit.  We also talked our clinic into writing up requisitions so that we could do the betas at our local lab and that saved us some travel, but they expected us back for a viability u/s if we were successful.  So, 5 visits total?  It adds up fast when you lose a whole day of work each time!


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One successful IVF

Many, many unsuccessful IF treatments

 


#252 Kayte

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Posted 04 January 2017 - 06:31 PM

Thank you ILMD and EH! :)

Those are great examples. I've done FETs and thought they seemed a walk in the park absence-wise compared to fresh cycles, but of course they are still absences.

We have a local fertility counsellor - thank you for the idea of seeing if we can do the requisite session with her.

Did you have to repeat any tests like sono or anything, or do anything to sync your cycle with the donor or suppress your cycle for a specific time if you were doing a FET?

Thank you for helping me!



#253 ilovemydogs

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Posted 04 January 2017 - 06:53 PM

I didn't have to repeat any tests other than infectious diseases. I had everything done in February, donor cycle was in November. We synced cycles so I was on BCP for just under 4 weeks.
See "About Me" for details. All treatments failed. Not sure where to go from here.

#254 EverHopefull!

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Posted 04 January 2017 - 07:24 PM

I had to do a hysteroscopy because it was a requirement of the donor egg bank and I had to do bloodwork.  I didn't have to sync cycles but you would have to if you were doing a fresh cycle.  I did suppress ahead of the FET cycle with BCP and syneral, but I got those prescriptions at the hysteroscopy appointment and we just discussed the timing of them on the phone (several times), so I didn't have to go back in to the clinic each time.

 

The only drawback to getting counseling locally is that we weren't using one of the counselors who bills directly to the clinic, so we ended up having to pay that cost ourselves.  The $100 for that session was way less than the cost of a ferry both ways and both of us missing a day of work though, so it was worth it.


TTC since December 2004

One successful IVF

Many, many unsuccessful IF treatments

 


#255 idream

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Posted 04 January 2017 - 09:07 PM

 

Time for an update!

 

So i have a donor agreement signed and sealed and the donors Day 1 was on January 1 so we have started stims!!

 

OMG,  What a way to start the new year. Luckily I have stuff to distract me over the next 2 weeks.

 

YAY! congrats, idream, this is amazing news. May 2017 be the year for you.

 

 

AMSK, this is going to be OUR year!!!


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#256 CMHE

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Posted 04 January 2017 - 11:13 PM

Hi everyone,

Anyone go through a donor egg cycle through RFP? I am currently doing this, fertilization is tomorrow. The most dreaded phone calls are from the embryologist each day for updates - at least they were for two cycles of IVF! Fingers crossed this donor produces better embryos than me and DH!
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#257 returnable

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Posted 05 January 2017 - 09:30 AM

Good luck CMHE.


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#258 mar42

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Posted 05 January 2017 - 11:41 AM

Wishing you all the best CMHE!



#259 returnable

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Posted 05 January 2017 - 12:30 PM

mar42 how are you doing? How many days P5DT?


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#260 Kayte

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Posted 05 January 2017 - 03:24 PM

Good luck CHCE smile.png  All those feelings give me anxiety too, but I believe it is all worth it in the end!! Hope your calls go well.

 

We just got further in our DE journey than we have before... actually had the hour legal consult over the phone regarding a contract with our donor. (Over the past year we have changed donors, have had the donors' timelines change, etc.) However, the lawyer told me she knew that of the donor's two previous cycles, she knew the results of one, which was at least 2 transfers (although using a surrogate) and no pregnancy, and I believe the donor's first cycle yielded a negative beta for the couple's first transfer and I'm not sure of the results since. I have contacted my clinic to see.  (She has done both cycles there before - potentially - ours.)

 

I know that our donor is 25 and has a healthy 2 year old of her own. There are so many variables with egg donation scenarios, but now I am scared about what to do if her previous 2 cycles have not yielded a pregnancy. It took us awhile to get here and another remortgaging of a home... I don't see us doing multiple egg donor cycles. In hindsight I should have come to this path sooner. I understand I can't put the pressure on myself or a donor for success, as everything is a crap shoot in the fertility world... but I do feel the responsibility to make as good a decision as I can about a donor, but am feeling myself getting emotional about everything and needing some levelheaded advice. 

 

What would you do in my shoes?

 

I hope this all makes sense....



#261 idream

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Posted 05 January 2017 - 06:50 PM

Good luck CHCE smile.png  All those feelings give me anxiety too, but I believe it is all worth it in the end!! Hope your calls go well.

 

We just got further in our DE journey than we have before... actually had the hour legal consult over the phone regarding a contract with our donor. (Over the past year we have changed donors, have had the donors' timelines change, etc.) However, the lawyer told me she knew that of the donor's two previous cycles, she knew the results of one, which was at least 2 transfers (although using a surrogate) and no pregnancy, and I believe the donor's first cycle yielded a negative beta for the couple's first transfer and I'm not sure of the results since. I have contacted my clinic to see.  (She has done both cycles there before - potentially - ours.)

 

I know that our donor is 25 and has a healthy 2 year old of her own. There are so many variables with egg donation scenarios, but now I am scared about what to do if her previous 2 cycles have not yielded a pregnancy. It took us awhile to get here and another remortgaging of a home... I don't see us doing multiple egg donor cycles. In hindsight I should have come to this path sooner. I understand I can't put the pressure on myself or a donor for success, as everything is a crap shoot in the fertility world... but I do feel the responsibility to make as good a decision as I can about a donor, but am feeling myself getting emotional about everything and needing some levelheaded advice. 

 

What would you do in my shoes?

 

I hope this all makes sense....

 

I think it is important to remember that embryo quality issues can come from either side, egg or sperm. Unless you know that the embryos where created using a double donor process (egg and sperm), you don't know what caused the issues, with her previous cycles. 

 

Given the cost and the importance of success is it time to consider a double donor cycle? donor sperm is only about another $1000.00. What another $1000.00 when you are already spending $15,000 to $20,000?


Tough Times Never Last, but Tough People Do


#262 Kayte

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Posted 06 January 2017 - 11:49 AM

Thanks idream... I just want to clarify... were you saying that if it were you, you would proceed with this donor as well as donor sperm?

 

We still have a little time, as we are waiting to hear from the donor's lawyer that she completed the forms. But in the meantime, we decided to go forward with this donor for our lawyer's preliminary paperwork. The info I got back from the clinic was,

 

December retrieval: 21 eggs (no other data yet)

 

August retrieval:  11 eggs, 5 day 5 embryos, PGS, with a surrogate: 2 BFNs, I chemical, 1 BFP and currently 5 weeks

 

Donor: own child, age 2

 

In terms of sperm, I hear what you are saying. Our diagnosis was DOR which seemed to rapidly decline. In almost 10 years of working through IF, we have done about 12 cycles, and all DH's tests have come back ideal. We are blessed with one child, aged 5. So I was figuring the dismal egg results was the issue.

 

There is no crystal ball but I did freak out when the lawyer (who was also the lawyer for this donor's previous 2 cycles) said she didn't have a record of any pregnancies and I may want to contact the clinic. It has been hard over the past year to locate a donor that we felt a pull toward that had confirmed pregnancies/live births, as I'm sure many of you have struggled with too. Although we've been looking into this for awhile, I still feel sometimes... inept at making the decisions, as with everything it is a leap of faith.

 

But based on what the clinic wrote back, we've taken the plunge and are crossing our fingers she is still up for donation #3.  smile.png



#263 idream

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Posted 06 January 2017 - 01:19 PM

Thanks idream... I just want to clarify... were you saying that if it were you, you would proceed with this donor as well as donor sperm?

 

We still have a little time, as we are waiting to hear from the donor's lawyer that she completed the forms. But in the meantime, we decided to go forward with this donor for our lawyer's preliminary paperwork. The info I got back from the clinic was,

 

December retrieval: 21 eggs (no other data yet)

 

August retrieval:  11 eggs, 5 day 5 embryos, PGS, with a surrogate: 2 BFNs, I chemical, 1 BFP and currently 5 weeks

 

Donor: own child, age 2

 

In terms of sperm, I hear what you are saying. Our diagnosis was DOR which seemed to rapidly decline. In almost 10 years of working through IF, we have done about 12 cycles, and all DH's tests have come back ideal. We are blessed with one child, aged 5. So I was figuring the dismal egg results was the issue.

 

There is no crystal ball but I did freak out when the lawyer (who was also the lawyer for this donor's previous 2 cycles) said she didn't have a record of any pregnancies and I may want to contact the clinic. It has been hard over the past year to locate a donor that we felt a pull toward that had confirmed pregnancies/live births, as I'm sure many of you have struggled with too. Although we've been looking into this for awhile, I still feel sometimes... inept at making the decisions, as with everything it is a leap of faith.

 

But based on what the clinic wrote back, we've taken the plunge and are crossing our fingers she is still up for donation #3.  smile.png

 

 

Hi Kayte,

 

It is hard for me to answer your question because I am single and using donor sperm no matter what.

 

I know that giving up a genetic link to your child is hard and even harder when you can't say "at least they are related to my husband or wife."

 

 I am not sure where you are financially but for me this is the end of the road. If this doesn't work I have to walk away for financial reasons, I know it will be hard and it is shitty but the right thing to do. Therefore I have been so careful to make sure that everything is the absolutely ideal conditions. I made sure the donor wasn't over suppressed, I got sperm that had an awesome track record (15+ children) I have paid extra for embryoscope.  Even if your hubby's sperm has come back as fine, are you sure. I feel like there is less information about sperm quality issues.  Recently there have been a few people using donor eggs that haven't gotten as many embryos as they want, I have to wonder if it is sperm issues.  

 

Sorry i have probably asked more questions then given answers, but as you say there is no cystal ball.

 

cheers,

idream


Tough Times Never Last, but Tough People Do


#264 Kayte

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Posted 06 January 2017 - 02:35 PM

Thanks for the continued feedback idream heart.gif 

 

I pray that this is your time!! I can't begin to imagine what this road has been like for you, and I will be rooting for your bigtime.



#265 mar42

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Posted 06 January 2017 - 04:22 PM

Hi Returnable.....I'm 27 days post 5 day transfer. I'm 6 weeks and 5 days. I go

Monday for my 7 week ultrasound. I'm scared! Been dealing with

nausea on and off all week.....hopefully that's a good sign. LOL

 

Have you chosen a donor yet?



#266 returnable

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Posted 06 January 2017 - 04:27 PM

No. And they come and go SOOOO quickly. Remember we are still doing OE IVF Jan/Feb. Good luck at your u/s. So excited for you!


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#267 mar42

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Posted 06 January 2017 - 06:01 PM

Oh yes I forgot. Wishing you the best for Jan/Feb!

Yes they come and go very fast.



#268 amsk

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 10:09 PM

Update here: I had my transfer today! Transferred one PGS tested blastocyst. They said it was Grade 2 after I asked, but then the doc told me the grade doesn't matter much. My clinic doesn't do betas until a full 14 days past transfer, so I will have a full two weeks to wait, starting now. 


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#269 returnable

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Posted 12 January 2017 - 08:13 AM

Great news amsk! Good luck and hope you can find some way to stay sane during the 2ww.


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#270 Cristine

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Posted 12 January 2017 - 10:29 AM

Yahoo!  Good luck amsk!!  xoxo


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More details on our infertility journey in 'About Me' page

 

Me: 40, DH: 42

TTC for many years - severe male factor - Obstructive Azoospermia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


#271 amsk

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Posted Today, 08:18 AM

Well, I'm pretty sure it's another chemical for me. I tested 7dpt, faint positive, lines got darker until about 10dpt, and then started getting lighter until today, 12dpt. I wish I could say it looked ambiguous, but it's clearly lighter.  I have moved by beta up to tomorrow.  



#272 returnable

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Posted Today, 08:53 AM

amsk I am sorry to hear that. Big hug.


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