12 replies to this topic

[Me Again]

Hi Ladies,

Just wondering if anyone has had any luck with Private Adoption. I know it can be risky (time wise and if the birth mother changes her mind) but we are fairly certain this is the route we want to take.

Does anyone know of a good agency to use for Private Adoption in the GTA (Toronto). I have been all over the internet and have not found anyone specializing in Private Adoption.

any advice would be great and I would love to hear about your story if you went that route. It does not seem like a popular choice in Canada for some reason. In the USA there are a million message boards of moms to be looking for a family, but I cannot find anything for Canada.

Any tips?

Thanks again,

Hi there.

I'm hoping someone who's completed a private adoption will respond. I think lots of Canadians go to the US to adopt (although adoption from there will be much more difficult once the Hague Treaty is fully implemented). The need for adoptive parents is simply not as great in Canada. But I think it all depends. One of the advantages and disadvantages in private domestic adoption is that the birth mother gets to choose the adoptive parents. So a match can take a long time or can happen very quickly.

I don't know of any private agencies in the GTA. There is a very good adoption lawyer, however, in Toronto. I can pm you her information, if you'd like.

Jillie

HI Georgia,
just wanted to say welcome back. I know its been a difficult road for you and your DH. Its nice to find you back on here again. Best of luck on your journey with adoption. Dh and I also sent in our application for a domestic adoption as we continue with the roller coaster ride.

[Me Again]

Hi there.

I'm hoping someone who's completed a private adoption will respond. I think lots of Canadians go to the US to adopt (although adoption from there will be much more difficult once the Hague Treaty is fully implemented). The need for adoptive parents is simply not as great in Canada. But I think it all depends. One of the advantages and disadvantages in private domestic adoption is that the birth mother gets to choose the adoptive parents. So a match can take a long time or can happen very quickly.

I don't know of any private agencies in the GTA. There is a very good adoption lawyer, however, in Toronto. I can pm you her information, if you'd like.

Jillie

Thanks Jillie! I would love the name of that lawyer. Any idea when the Hague treaty will go into effect...do we still have time considering our home study is yet to be done or even started for that matter?

Thanks again for you help!

[momof2]

Probably not much of a help, but did you look at the gov't webpages. When I searched about being a foster home, I went to the ab.gov.ca (something like that), anyways it was the provincial website. In there it had children waiting to be adopted, most of these have some sort of special need. But also on that page had links to adoption agency's.

Also welcome back, and it's nice to see you moving forward with adoption. Good luck to you. My husband's co-worker was just telling him that they just got there 2nd daughter from China. So many girls waiting to be adopted. Whether you go locally or internationally, all the best to you and your dh.

[Marty]

My DH and I had success last year with a local private adoption. It can happen....you do have to be prepared for the ups and downs that go with it though. We had a birthmother change her mind (but we knew going into the meeting with her that she was back and forth). 3 weeks later we were selected again and our daughter is almost a year old now! From the time we started our home study to having our daughter home with us it was 8 months total. You just have to take a chance! (We are in B.C.)

[houligans]

Georgia,

I am sorry to hear about your cycle not working. It is good to see you are not giving up on becoming a mommy. We are also starting the process of adoption. We are still in the thinking about what we want stage.

In Alberta, I think there are about 3 private adoption agencies. We looked into it years ago before we started the IVF process. The costs then were around $7500; but I have heard they are around $10,000 now. That provides money for all the paperwork and counselling for you and the birthmother before and after the adoption. We were told that the average wait time was around 8 months. The good thing about private adoption is the birth mother picks you. The bad thing is they sometimes change their mind. I am sure they have these types of agencies in Ontario as well.

I wish you luck and will be looking forward to reading your posts in the process. Your new little one is out there somewhere.

[hopeful123]

georgia hi
i am sorry fertility treatments did not work for you ,but you can always become a mommy and dh a daddy and i know you guys will be wonderful parents ,your children are out there waiting for you guys as impatiently as you for them ,
just want to wish you all the best in the process and hope its faster and no complications
sam

[Me Again]

Thanks to all of you, as usual your support is overwhelming!


MARTY! Your story was inspirational. You have given us renewed hope. Did you guys use a Private adoption agencie to help you connect with your birth mother or did you find her all on your own?

We are pretty excited to know that we are moving forward and we could be parents in a year or so (god willing). Do you have any idea what gave you guys a leg up on being chosen? I know that is a tacky question but we need all the help we can get to stand out to a prospective birth mother. So if you have any advice we would welcome it. We know there is a lot of competition out there, so we really want to STAND OUT. Just not sure how to market ourselves. did you write a great PROFILE? Did you post on the internet? Did you advertise at all? Did you use any professionals to help you.... Just curious???

Thanks again for all your words of support.... I will keep you all posted.

Take care.

Edited by Me Again, 17 October 2007 - 09:50 AM.

[Marty]

We went through a private adoption agency and did not advertise on the internet. I'm a little to private to have just anyone be able to look at your personal journey. You can't think of it as competing with other birth mothers to choose you.....each birth mother is different and will pick you for different reasons. What makes you stand out with one could work against you with another. Here is an example....the first birth mother who chose us was tall and athletic as was her boyfriend. She loved the fact that we were an active family (sports, hiking, etc...) Another birth mom going through profiles thought we were to active!! I think she pictured us having the baby down at the track running laps or something. Also, we were very self conscious about our pets......turns out both birth moms loved the fact that we had pets. You have to be honest even if it is something that you don't think is the "best" response. Our birth mom who eventually picked us said a lot of the other dear birth mother letters she had read did not seem from the heart, more like she was reading what they thought she wanted to read. All I can say is be honest, take your time with your letter.....have your social worker proof read it for you and make any recommendations. Good luck!

[Marty]

I thought I should also add that when DH and I started the adoption process we had planned on adopting from China. After we went through our adoption education program and heard other people's experiences we changed our plan. We were afraid of the openess and the changing of birth mother's minds but did not want to do an international adoption because of fear. We have an open relationship with our daughter's birth family and so far things are working out well. It will be important for our daughter to know them as she grows up.

[moolani]

Georgia,

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for the BFN but I do wish you all the best! Adoption is truly a great option!

Em

[Me Again]

Marty,

Thanks for those words of advice. I really didn't mean it to sound like it was a competition (as I know you have to fit with the birth mom as much as she fits with you) But I just wondered what made her select your profile vs another couples. The fact that your letter came from the heart is a good start. The hard part is writing it from the heart and not making it sound to scholastic. If that makes any sense.

We are looking into marketing ourselves on as many mediums as possible...but again that could change for us. I was going to advertise on Canada Adopts....but man oh man do they ever rip you off. They charge 345.00 just to post your profile. I mean give me break. I think we will post on Craigslist for free. lol!

This world is almost more overwhelming then IVF. Actually it is deffinately more overwhelming!!!

We were going to go with China as well...but then we found out that there is a 3-5 year waiting list. And I simply cannot wait that long. We know there is a risk of the birth mother changing her mind with Private adoption, but we are willing to take that chance.

Congratulations on your success. I hope we can follow in your footsteps.