5 replies to this topic

[jzyla]

Hi everybody. DH and I are 32 and 30 living on the prairies in a small city. I'm a Social Worker and DH works in the oil and gas industry. We've had to drive 3+ hours to get to our nearest clinic where we've undergone 2 IUIs and 2 IVF cycles - all failures. After the 2nd IVF, when all of our beautiful 21 embryos deteriorated after day 3, they determined that they think it's an cellular/DNA egg issue. I've done acupuncture, TCM, reiki, Body Talk, Hypnosis, counselling, and modified my diet, supplements, lifestyle, etc. but we're still 5 years in with empty arms. So after much soul searching, we are pursuing donated eggs. Obviously, like many of you, we're already tens of thousands of dollars into this journey and are coming up to the end of our rope if this doesn't work. This is made more complicated by Canada's restrictions on assisted reproduction. We seriously considered going to the Czech Republic or Cyprus, but it just doesn't sit well with us to deny our child the opportunity to ever know the identity of their donor, if they wanted to pursue this (absolutely no judgement of those who choose this route - to each their own).

I hope these forums can be helpful to us along the way. Thanks for reading!

[l_belle]

Hi jzyla,

 

Firstly, I just wanted to say hi and assure you that you are certainly not alone on this journey. Your story sounds very familiar to what we have been through. I have just begun re-connecting with the forum and I know that you will find much support and friendship here as I have.

 

I (we) have been through the domestic egg donor process, so if you have any questions at all please message me.

 

All the best to you,

l_belle

[GabyP]

I decided to use an  anonymous egg donor from Mexico and my partner's sperm. Now she is 6 weeks old and unless I check this forum, I barely think about it. She is mine and I chuckle as people constantly tell me how much she looks like me. All about our own philosophy and how we see the world. My little one will know that there was a cell which came from another woman, but there is not much more to it. She grew inside of me, heard my voice and became part of who I am. We are so connected and I can only tell you that I never cared much about my own gene pool. Reality is that my genes are not that special and I believe that what we do, how we nurture and what we share greatly influences our children. That blue print, the genetics, are somewhat important, but even if we use our own eggs, there is no guarantee that our little ones would not inherit traits from some relative with not so favorable traits. So for me it is a bit of a gamble, using our own eggs or the egg of another woman. My little one is amazing and loved by me. I have another daughter, genetically

mine, now 25, and can assure you that I love both of my girls equally.

[duckling]

Hi there! I don't know much about DE, but I wanted to wish you the best of luck in this journey. It sounds like you've been through so much, I wish you much success!

[Curlygirl77]

I have been considering donor eggs for years, just haven't had the money to do it yet… I work with pregnant women and in the past year, I've worked with 3 who used donor eggs!  And it's been so interesting to hear their stories and see their babies. I have to say that the babies definitely look like the mamas too :-) One of the bigger hurdles for them seems to be how to tell family/friends, or whether to tell family/friends. Which to me is interesting because I'm not sure the stigma is the same for donor sperm?  Good luck on your journey, I hope to be joining you there in the coming years.

[CdnHockeyGal]

Which to me is interesting because I'm not sure the stigma is the same for donor sperm?  Good luck on your journey, I hope to be joining you there in the coming years.

 

100% agree.  Combination of the pressure we put on ourselves (I think) and society's expectations of us as women.  Oops...there I go on a soapbox!