8 replies to this topic

[ollie2013]

I posted this article from the new york times as a status update but i thought i would post it here as well..

 

http://www.nytimes.c...ult-issues.html

 

 

I read through quite a few of the 220 comments and as usual , there are so many people out there who are so quick to judge.

 

 

A woman named Carla posted a comment that i loved- I included it here

 

Carla US 4 days ago

The amount of thoughtless judgment here is difficult for those who suffer with the disease. Misunderstanding and judgment stemming from the inability to make the effort to put oneself in another's shoes are part of what makes infertility such a dreadful disease. Those who say if you can't have kids you weren't meant to, perhaps they might also say if you get a cancer diagnosis you were meant to die young? Those who say, just adopt, well, you go adopt. Those who say there are enough people on the planet, stay out of my bedroom. Infertility is not only related to women waiting too long to have children. It may instead be from male infertility from overuse of pesticides. Male factor infertility is not natural. It's a man-made disease that is very much on the rise. In many cases IVF is the only possible "cure" but it doesn't always work. The amount of money it costs fails to capture the overall emotional and physical toll each round of IVF exerts.

[CdnHockeyGal]

It's so nice to see a well reasoned & intelligent comment. Thank-you for sharing. :-)

[ollie2013]

she hit it right on the nose....

 

to all those people who say if you are infertile you should adopt because the world is overpopulated- tell the couples who conceive naturally ( who account for the majority of births in the world) that they should stop trying to conceive and they should adopt...

[ollie2013]

adoption should not be spoken about like some sort of last resort type of decision... it is for couples that are emotionally strong and committed...

[amazing grace]

Ollie,

thank you for your comments, they could not have come at a better time. Lately, I have been struggling with the decision to either go forward and try again or quit. This struggle comes because of the insensitive comments I get from some people in my life, Not to be mean, but I am going to call out these people, colleagues who think that I have done all I could and maybe it isn't meant to be for me. My mother in law who consistently looks for answers, is it my blood, or just bluntly, God does not want it for me. Then there are others who think that I should look at adoption, as if that is my last resort and no feelings or emotions should go into the decision. Because of this, I began doubting my decisions, after all did God not put me on this path and to those who say I did everything I could, no I did not.....and it is easy for you to say that because you have your family.....I don't. So Ollie, hats off to you for making these points because they are so valid and thanks again for bringing into the light such insensitive comments those struggling to conceive are subjected to frequently.

[autumnmarie]

I want to find Carla and give her a giant hug! Thanks for posting this Ollie!

[ollie2013]

im glad you liked this amazing grace...

 

at my age, ive realized that many adults spend too much time telling others what they should be doing...

 

whether its family or friends giving you their thoughts- you and dh have to make your decision for yourselves...tune all the rest of the noise out because thats all it is- noise

 

 

Ollie,

thank you for your comments, they could not have come at a better time. Lately, I have been struggling with the decision to either go forward and try again or quit. This struggle comes because of the insensitive comments I get from some people in my life, Not to be mean, but I am going to call out these people, colleagues who think that I have done all I could and maybe it isn't meant to be for me. My mother in law who consistently looks for answers, is it my blood, or just bluntly, God does not want it for me. Then there are others who think that I should look at adoption, as if that is my last resort and no feelings or emotions should go into the decision. Because of this, I began doubting my decisions, after all did God not put me on this path and to those who say I did everything I could, no I did not.....and it is easy for you to say that because you have your family.....I don't. So Ollie, hats off to you for making these points because they are so valid and thanks again for bringing into the light such insensitive comments those struggling to conceive are subjected to frequently.

[Clairey]

Ollie, absolutely such a profound and meaningful statement. I'm going to memorize it and throw it into use! (too bad that I/we have to, but sometimes being "armed" with a diplomatic response is a little like having body armor on!)

[ollie2013]

definitely ... the same people who say just adopt should be telling all newly married couples "dont try and have a baby-adopt instead"

 

 

Ollie, absolutely such a profound and meaningful statement. I'm going to memorize it and throw it into use! (too bad that I/we have to, but sometimes being "armed" with a diplomatic response is a little like having body armor on!)