5 replies to this topic

[nicgro]

Hi there, I just recently started looking into surrogacy. In my opinion, I am a barrel of problems physically, yet I'm sure I don't have it near as bad as many of the women on this site. I have been struggling with endometriosis pain and crippling periods for a long time now. I am constantly getting cysts and fibroids, bleeding and spotting almost daily, and now I have been suffering with bowel problems (considered to be linked to possibly bowel endo) for the past 8 months.

 

My formal diagnoses have been PCOS, endometriosis (though in all my surgeries I have never been told a stage) and a blocked tube. I have done approximately 8 or 9 cycles of clomid and never ovulated, and 1 IVF cycle. I have had 1 fresh transfer and 1 frozen with no success. I know that's not much, but I just feel like I am done. I have been feeling so unwell and in so much pain, I just want it to be over. I am set to see a new gynecologist for "a different opinion", and I really just want to see if I can have a hysterectomy.

 

I guess I am wondering, is too soon for me to consider a surrogate? Will I look and sound like a crazy person if I am already wanting to throw in the towel? The other thing I am wondering is if someone can be a surrogate if they are overweight? My sister in-law is really the only person I know of who would be willing to do it for us (aside of going to an agency of course) and she is heavier. In my research I have read that this could be a problem.

 

Also, if I did take this path, where do I start? I am still really in the "research stage" so I am not sure what to do, where to go, how much it will cost or if I can even do this.

 

Any info or advice anyone can provide would be really appreciated.

 

Thanks so much

[BoyWonder]

Only you know how much pain you have already gone through, therefore no one can tell you you are throwing in the towel too soon or not. Surgery such as a hysterectomy is a very, very "final, close the door" type of surgery, so just make sure you are ready for such a decision because once you've done it, there's no going back. That being said, living with agonizing crippling pain day in and day out affects your life day and night, so my sympathies to you. Whatever decision you make, I wish you all the best

[ilovemydogs]

nicgro - Although I can't give advice on whether to proceed since it's such a personal topic, I do feel for you as we have many of the same issues (fibroids, cysts, endo, PCOS). I was at the point of looking for a surrogate a year ago and decided on a one last kick at my own uterus. One of the embryos ended up implanting, but only for a few months. So I've stuck it out with another transfer - BFN. After the BFN, I decided it was time to move on for a second opinion and was told it was still possible with my own uterus so I'm going to try at least one more time but with PGS and some tweaks to my protocol. 

 

I would recommend though that you get a second opinion from another RE before you reach a final decision. 

[mountainchick]

I don't know where you are located, but I would highly recommend a consult with Dr Catherine Allaire at Women's Hospital in Vancouver. She is one of the top surgeons in North America that specializes in pelvic pain/ endo and used to do ivf treatments too. I had 3 different consults and decided to go with her for my pelvic surgery. She told me with confidence it was very possible to carry a baby to term and she was right. Even my RE and some other surgeons were not sure. Dr Allaire told me to hold off on surrogacy but I went against her advice and tried a surrogate and she got a bfn. I then tried on my own again after my surgery recovery time and it stuck.

I wish the best of luck to you! You've got a difficult decision!

[mountainchick]

I also wanted to add that my clinic does cycles with overweight people however I believe in some cases he recommends weight loss. Best to ask your RE about that. It's not everyday that someone is willing to be a surrogate altruistically.

[nicgro]

Thanks for your advice ladies. Mountainchick, unfortunately I am in Ontario so a little to far to travel to BC.

 

I have made an appointment for a second opinion and actually go in next week. Hopefully I can get things sorted out soon.