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An early loss still hurts


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#1 Yam

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Posted 06 March 2015 - 10:58 PM

I've had two losses, both at about 7 weeks.

 

The first was a surprise pregnancy back in 2013. After what we went through to have our twins, DH and I were completely shocked to discover that I was pregnant! Initially, we were stressed out about the idea of having another baby; we had assumed that we weren't able to get pregnant on our own so we were caught off guard. By the time we had started to get excited, it was over.

 

Since that surprise, I have always felt like we were "meant" to have another one. We kept trying in the hopes that I would get pregnant again naturally, but it didn't happen. Finally, I convinced DH to do an FET. It was to be our "one last shot"; we would only do one procedure regardless of the outcome.

 

Our FET was in January. We got our BFP and were absolutely thrilled! This time there was no stress or doubt; this is what we wanted and hoped for. My betas were on the low side, but doubling. Still, I was uneasy about my lack of symptoms. My boobs were slightly sore, but I had absolutely no nausea and I was very nauseous with both of my previous pregnancies.

 

Despite my lack of symptoms, I never expected to hear the news at my 7 week ultrasound. There was no baby growing inside me, only an empty gestational sac. It felt like I had been punched in the stomach. We had assumed things would be fine, so DH was at work; I had gone to the appointment alone. It was devastating.

 

Now that it's over, I know it's time for me to move on. We have two healthy, amazing children and I am truly thankful for them. But there is a part of me that is so crushed and empty in knowing I will never have another baby. Will I ever get past this feeling? Will I ever truly feel as though our family is complete?

 

 


Me: unexplained

DH: perfect

 

2010: IVF success! (Twins born at 36 weeks)

2013: Surprise pregnancy (Lost at 7 weeks)

2015: FET (U/S at 7 weeks showed only an empty sac)

 

Our family of four is now complete. We are moving on.


#2 nervus optimist

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Posted 06 March 2015 - 11:41 PM

I am so sorry for your losses. They do hurt.... so much.

:flowers:


  • gibasgirl and Yam like this

I am 37, DH - 38
Genetic - IVF&PGD to prevent Genetic Disorder
IVF #1 - Nov/08 - MC @ 6 weeks, no embryos frozen
IVF #2 - Aug/09 - bfn
IUI #1 - Feb/10 - ectopic
PRIDE - Apr/10
Homestudy - July/10
Given the gift of donor embryos - Jan/12
Donor FET Jun/12 - 9 weeks - no heartbeat... MC
Donor FET Oct/12 - we're PG biggrin.png

===> Beautiful baby boy born 2013 babyboy.gif

Donor FET Oct/16 - chemical

April 2017 - surprise PG


#3 rollergirl

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Posted 07 March 2015 - 12:37 AM

Sorry for your loss..I have a similar background....and the thing is that YOU have to get used to knowing that your family is complete.....it will take time ....cherish what you have and wasted time is spent on something you know will never happen....acknowledge it and grieve it and in time acceptance will happen....Good luck....


  • gibasgirl, Ola1981, Meary and 2 others like this
Me-72 DH-26 It is what it is...

#4 Nessiboo

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Posted 08 December 2015 - 05:15 PM

I am so sorry for your loss.. I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks in June and it hurt so much. I have said this before a loss is a loss no matter how far along you were it all hurts the same. I am still not over my loss and i still think about what could have been and where I would have been in my pregnancy today, but with all hardship it takes time to heal. I am pregnant again and I am terrified of another miscarriage and its funny because when I did my first fresh transfer a miscarriage never crossed my mind and now that's all I can think of... what if it's a miscarriage! I am happy that you were blessed with twins and i hope that you are blessed with another natural miracle baby! Xx
Me 27 DH 29
Male factor IF
May 18 2015 ER 19 retrieved - 17 fertilized- 6 5 day blastocyst
May 23 ET- perfect 5AA blastocyst in the perfect spot- Dr said cycle looked amazing!
May 27 HPT- positive woot woot I'm pregnant
June 5 beta- 1630!!! Over the moon happy
June 9 bleeding passed clots- beta still rising- bleeding stopped
June 17 went for ultrasound- beautiful baby heartbeat 111!
June 17 1hr after ultrasound started bleeding and passing clots.
June 18 another ultrasound showed baby had no hb... We are devastated!
July 3 our 4yr wedding anniversary but sadly finally passed the placenta on this day😢S

September 30 2015 start meds for FET
November 2 SET of a beautiful blast thawed 100%
November 6 BFP on HPT- woot woot
November 9 oh no bleeding... Pls not again!
November 11 beta 293
November 13 beta 659
November 15 final beta 1263
December 3 waiting for ultrasound and terrified!

#5 amazing grace

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Posted 15 May 2017 - 06:40 PM

Two years ago today, I got the dreaded news that my beautiful baby girl had a brain defect. At 16 weeks I had to terminate my pregnancy. Still broken hearted and missing her everyday! Love you so much, baby girl!