17 replies to this topic

[Baby-Baby]

Hi,

I'm just wondering if there are any other single women in their mid to late 30s who are trying to be moms alone?

I decided after not being able to find and meet the right guy that it wasn't a reason to not have children. I've gone through 3 rounds of IVF in the last 4 years and along the way met a few guys but nothing that lasted. I finally decided in January after a hopeful relationship didn't work out that I was done dating for the next little while so I could focus on becoming a mom which is what I really want to do. I am realistic, the older I get, the more difficult it will be not just to have kids but to be able to give my children a good life with a mom that has energy to go to dance recitals and hockey games.

 

I won't lie though...watching friends around me and their younger siblings and my younger sibling get married and have kids "the old fashioned way" can be really depressing. I'm not jealous but I do feel bouts of negativity when someone else gets the dream. I hope that's not too selfish.

 

I am excited to start this journey and hope everyday for that elusive BFP.

 

Anyone else in the same boat?

 

 

[Pebbles]

Hi Baby-Baby,

I am single and 37 and currently trying to get pregnant through dIUI. I am in my 3rd 2ww right now....I really hope that's it..

Nice to see you start this new thread, hopefully it will pick up The single women thread hasn't been too active recently

 

Fingers crossed we can fulfill this dream!

[ebonyglare]

When I started this journey, I was single and did three IUIs unsuccessfully. I met my current bf when I was gearing up for IVF. There are actually a LOT of support groups out there with single women seeking to be mothers. If you speak French, I can give you the link to an AMAZING online support group where the bulk of the members live in the Montreal area.

[Pebbles]

Ebonyglare, I'd be very interested in the online link, thanks! And best of luck for you and your bf!

[Baby-Baby]

Me too and let's all try to keep in touch!!!

[ebonyglare]

I've sent you both a PM

[hhvan]

I just wanted to say hi and good luck to everyone on this forum. I too am single, and have been doing IUIs and IVF .. worked twice, but had m/c.  

[Pebbles]

Hi hhvan,

thanks and sorry to hear that you are still struggling to make this work and especially sorry for your m/c! Are you currently cycling?

[nettibug]

Just want to say HI and welcome to everyone.  Not sure why the singles thread doesn't stay active (my theory is that you have to scroll down a lot farther on the forums, lol).  Best of luck to all!

[Sarae3]

Hello,

I am new to posting on this site. So l apologize as l am trying to figure out all these acronyms:). I am a single 38 yr old women ttc for the last 18 months. Before starting this journey alone l did have one full term pregnancy which resulted in a beautiful girl who would be 8 yrs old this month however she was killed in an accident 3 years ago. Having had no issues getting pregnant the first time and having no pregnancy issues along the way when l decided to have a baby on my own l never imagined it would prove so challenging to conceive. Not that anything is a given l have learnt in the process and given my age l still never imagined it would ever take this long. I have browsed this site many times and found it useful but haven't felt the urge to post until now.

I had 4 failed iui's at one clinic and then l switched clinics and had another failed iui. At the same clinic l then began my ivf journey which after two retrievals and two fresh transfers has resulted in one chemical and one bfn. So l am readying myself for my 3rd ivf with cycling beginning this week. So fingers crossed this is the one!!

[Arlene Preddie]

Hi ladies, Im in the same position as some of you. I'm not pursuing childbirth at the moment but I appreciate how compelling the feeling is to have a child. The feeling can be quite overwhelming. I had the compulsion in connection with plastic surgery as well. I like children but in both cases the obsessive need to become pregnant and have multiple surgeries to become beautiful passed.

I'm open to suggestions and I hope you are too (so to speak). I know many people mention adoption and as a single women your response may be varied. I understand the waiting list for a Caucasian infant may be up to 7 years for a public adoption but the wait time for other similarly situated children may be significantly shorter and most of the costs are covered unlike private adoptions.

The issue was raised by Family and Children services in Toronto this past summer 2013. Specifically FCS made an appeal to the "Black" community because their cup over floweth with "Black" children. Personally, I see no reason to limit the scope of IPs to my community. Some of the challenges are obvious some are not but it's quite common in Toronto and if you make an efforts to learn about and immerse yourself in the child's culture it's better for the child than being a ward or being in foster care forever.


I thought I'd mention public adoptions here first so I could get your feedback before I posted to a larger audience.

We would love to hear your thoughts on the subject. Have a great weekend everyone.

[nettibug]

Sarae3 - welcome to the forum and best of luck on your journey.  I do not have the words to express my sorrow for your loss.

[kcee]

Hi All,

 

Am new to this site.  Have been TTC for about a year on my own via IUI and donor sperm.  Also didn't expect to have any difficulties as I had never tried before.  Numbers and exams all good.  Just started my first round of IVF.

 

Thanks for sharing all of your stories.  It's nice to see that I'm not the only one embarking on this journey!

[Sarae3]

Welcome kcee. Wanted to say despite there being quite a number of us single women TTC this thread isn't very busy. Not sure if you have joined any of the other threads but the cycling ones tend to be very popular and can be a great support. I joined those a few times and it depends what you are looking for. At times I found it very supportive and helpful to see other people experiencing the same high and lows fertility treatment can be very overwhelming especially if you don't have a partner to do it with so the threads were awesome. However other times l found it very overwhelming hearing all the things that can go right and wrong I found at times it made me crazy wondering if l was experiencing what they were all going thru and also living vicariously thru their joys and disappointments. Anyhow I think it depends on each individual and what their needs are.
Just a quick update on my journey to give you some good news. I am currently 39 and single after 4 iui's and 3 ivf's and two very long years l decided to transfer my two frozen embryos (which l had planned to hopefully keep for baby number 2). Aw well best laid plans. However the good news is that I am currently 18 weeks pregnant with one baby from the frozen transfer. Next week l am going to do my ultrasound to find out if l am having a boy or girl:).
Just thought I would share my story since this thread isn't very busy. Good luck to you in your journey.

[kcee]

Hi Sarae3,

 

Thanks for sharing!  And a thousand congratulations!  That's such great news.  I am sure that if things work out for me I will have a lot of questions for you.

 

If you're interested at all in sharing your numbers from IVF, please feel free to message me.  I am having my 3rd u/s tomorrow and may have some tough decisions to make.  

 

Best of luck next week with the u/s - that's very exciting!

[Sarae3]

Hey Kcee,

I am glad to share my ivf numbers with you but I would just caution you that l have seen such a wide variety of results across these threads all our bodies and cycles are so different you really only need one good egg to make it work so numbers aren't necessarily indicative of anything. l do understand going thru ivf low numbers can be disapointing given the emotional and financial toll of the proceas

My numbers were never very high thru all three cycles(l did all day 3 transfers) :

Cycle 1 - 4 follicles removed - all were fertilized .... 1 arrested, 1 6 cell, 2 nines on day 3, 1 nine and 1 six transfered, 9 cell frozen - resulted in a chemical pregnancy

Cycle 2 - 7 follicles removed - 4 fertilized, 3 at implantation, all 3 were 9 cells, 2 nine cells transferred on day 3 and 1 frozen - no pregnancy resulted

Cycle 3 - 3 follicles removed - one arrested - 2 fertilized and transferred after day 3 - No pregnancy again

You are cycling right now for your first ivf?? Good luck with your u/s tmrw let me know if you have any questions:)

[hopefulmommy2]

If there are any SMC's in Alberta, I'd love to connect.  There are some of us planning to meet up.

[Munchy40]

I'm so glad there is a single mama thread up and running!
I'm a single mama of four, in the process of having more😃, via Ivf in Cancun.