7 replies to this topic

[hopeful2dream]

Im new to the boards and recently posted only two posts. Im coming to this thread...as im just beside myself at the moment.
yesterday (friday) my fiance and I had an appointment with the fertility specialist. BUT we ended up having to cancel because wednesday I found out I was pregnant. Ohh we were amazed...that I conceived naturally and at the timing! We though...what r the odds that happened right before a fertility consult?? After over a year of trying after the last ectopic. Well, I should be used to the disappointment by now because friday morning I started to bleed a little. I figured ok, its not much but I'll keep an eye on it. By friday evening it progressed so we went to the ER. They did two ultrasounds and found nothing.HCG came back after that at 36. Obviously it was too early but the doctor was rather harsh and had no bedside manner. He said in a rushed voice that it was a M/C and by sunday evening I should repeat a home pregnancy test because it " will without a doubt" in his words be negative and I can "try again". This is coming from the doctor after I had to explain our fertility history and how "trying" ended up with us having to see a fertility specialist. His words hurt...and even my my fiance was in disbelief when the doctor asked us if this was a wanted pregnancy! Anyways, the bleeding has gotten much heavier and I know our pregnancy is ending. Ive been crying on and off...questioning WHY constantly. Ive been through this ....but each time it takes a piece of me emotionally and it takes a long time to feel OK again. Ive never ever questioned the good lord above...I always felt he knew best. Never lost my faith. This time..I find myself questioning why. And how could he let this happen right before we were suppose to see the fertility specialist that we had to jump through hoops just to see in the first place. ( I'm sorry this post is long...im in a rough spot emotionally and I guess needed to vent a little. Thank you for listening and I know there are others here who lost their little ones too and who understand.

[mountainchick]

((HUGS)) I know how you are feeling. It can be so emotionally draining.and people can say hurtful things. When I was at the hospital with my last miscarriage, the nurse said that maybe I should give up and be happy without kids. Then, when she took my blood pressure it was high and she said to me -'wow, you really need to just calm down, it's not that bad'. Some people just don't get how fragile this can all be.

 

I hope that you can re-schedule your RE appointment quickly and find some answers as to why you miscarried. Maybe since you cancelled your appointment, they can see you quicker or put you on a cancellation list?

 

Take care,

[Petunia04]

So sorry to hear about your terrible experience with a very insensitive doctor. Unfortunately most of the time when dealing with medical professionals outside a fertility clinic they just don't seem to get what we go through emotionally & physically to start a family.

So sorry for your loss and i wish you and your husband all the best.

[JacMac]

That sucks, I'm sorry. Some of the most hurtful things I've heard are from health care "professionals".
Hopefully the clinic will be able to get you in quickly under the circumstances. Definitely it sounds like they should be testing for repeat pregnancy loss so you should push for that right from the beginning.

[amazing grace]

Hopeful, I know how you feel, having gone through four in a row myself.

I miscarried the day I recieved my positive results. An hour later, I started to bleed. That was the first of four. If "he" is God, then all I can say to you is not to ever loose your faith. I firmly believe that things happen for a reason, and that everything in life that happens, whether good or bad, happens for a reason. It is to affirm our faith and to make us stronger and more resiliant. I too have questioned how things can happen, and why would God give me a positive result and then an hour later, take it from me. I have gone through many moments where I wondered if maybe God did not want me to have a child, I still sometimes go through those moments. I do believe now that he put me on this path for a reason, and when the time is right, and I learned what I had to from my experiences, then I will recieve my blessing.

Don't let people, even doctors get you down, They have no idea what feelings may be associated with a loss of pregnancy, especially after trying for so long. Many are instrumental in their feelings and don't realize how cold and callous they truly sound. Your time will come when it is right. Keep strong and surround yourself with positive people and positive thoughts, it will happen for you!

[hopeful2dream]

Thank you everyone for the support. Its hard to talk with some friends and family at the moment. I know my fiance is hurting too...and its hard to try amd comfort him when im just so angry and sad and on an emotional rollercoaster which seems to be from minute to minute. I do have a teenage daughter whom I looked at today and told her just how amazing I think she is..how thankful I am to have her. I do hope the RE will see me for a consult again quickly. Id like to have a whole array of work ups done before we even attempt to use ivf or try naturally if the RE thinks we should and could. Its just a long road...a road I feel will be inevitable circles until we have answers as to why we MC right at the start. I do have damage to my right tube from the ectopics..thats why we were to see an RE.( Time will tell and hopefully we will have answers by the new year or at least shortly after.

[Butterfli]

I don't have a lot to add just to say vent as much as you can on here, the women on here are amazing. Unless you are going thru IVF/m/c TTC yourselves people just don't get it. The comments that i got when I m/c was rediculous. This site saved my sanity. Hoping you get some answers and ur bfp that sticks soon!

[hopeful2dream]

Thank you butterfli....I repeated the digital pregnancy test today like the doctor at the emerg told me to....because he said "without a doubt it will be negative." I wish I could show him my heart breaking when the digital is still positive reading "pregnant 1-2". I am bleeding beyond belief...with my levels on friday being 36 I can understand them dropping rather quickly as in the past they have within 48 hours been less than 10,and the first time I went from 42 to 4.6 in a little over 24 hours.im calling my OBGYN first thing in the morning..im going nutty ....and I was prepared to see a "not pregnant" today when I tested..Iim all flustered and feel like im ready to just break down completely. Im scared to heck its an ectopic again and it was just too early to see on ultrasound....