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You know you're infertile when (meant to be a funny thread)


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#26 Lisa1981

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Posted 05 April 2013 - 05:36 PM

You know you're infertile when you're willing to jump on a boat, a plane or drive across international borders trying to get pregnant; and you proudly declare your embryos to the customs agent, who wishes you luck because he knows exactly who you are after all the 6am trips you've taken across the border.

I though about this post and started to laugh when the VIA rail guy recognised me at the station in Montreal earlier today, LOL

 

You know your infertile when you feel little twinges in your stomach and start asking yourself a 1000 questions,( am I ovulating, are the meds working, is it AF, and I preg etc)...


  • Yogamum, gibasgirl, lexi and 2 others like this

Me: 33 - DH: 36

July 2012: referred to Ottawa fertility center
August 2012: Test results are back
High FSH, Low AFC (only 6)
Endo (duuuh) & DOR  (great....)

And may has well make it a trio...male factor (motility)

 

After 2 failed IUIs, 5 Failed IVF:

Trying on our own until spring come's along... 

 

Feb 09: A little Miracle, a natural BFP. Praying it sticks around for 9 months.

Feb 11: Beta 25 (yikes)- P4: 47 oh boy, put on progesterone

Feb 13: Beta 86 - P4: 144

Feb 18: Beta 544 - P4: 96

Feb 20: Beta 1128 - P4: 81... increased progesterone to 600mg

Feb 24: Beta 1608 - P4: 100... oh boy, not looking promissing

Feb 25: Beta: 1942 (no P4) at another hospital.. ok, looking better... U/S: sac and yolk. Nothing else.

March 04: HB 115. Problem: Sac is small... repeat u/s next week

March 14: U/S , HB (abdominal) 167bpm (internal) 158bpm. Problem: Sac still small, reapeat u/s in 10 days..

March 24: U/S confirmed no HB.. stop progesterone. M/C that same evening


#27 quandry

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Posted 05 April 2013 - 06:17 PM

you know you're infertile when a monkey could shove a stick up your vajajay, and it wouldn't really be any different than the interns at the clinic.  


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#28 Juliet

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Posted 05 April 2013 - 07:01 PM

Your heart starts to race and you feel crestfallen when your friends and family throw out dates for future get-togethers, celebrations and trips... they only consult their prior engagements while you sit in silence, knowing you can never commit to what are supposed to be fun and carefree plans with others when you are committed to cycling instead, and who knows what could be going on, on any given day suggested.

 

Okay, that one isn't funny.

 

How about this... you know you're infertile when you have either made up or are aware of 1000 synonyms for VAGINA... cause you hate that word, but your entire life seems to revolve around adventures and traumas to said orifice. Depending on the scenario and who you are talking to, "petunia", "delicate flower", "pink taco", "horizontal smile", etc., etc., just may make the cut instead!


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#29 L_in_Calgary

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Posted 05 April 2013 - 07:18 PM

When your accountant is shocked that you have tens of thousands of dollars in medical expenses.....more tax deductions than you had as a full time student. Then you get a tax audit.


  • cl30, gibasgirl, rokgerl and 7 others like this
me 37 dh 38 ttc since May 2010 (high FSH, mild MF) Aug - Sept 2011- 2 cycles with Clomid and TI - 2xBFN Sept - Nov 2011 - 3 IUIs with clomid - 3xBFN IVF #1 Jan/Feb 2012 - 300 Gonal F eSET - 3 day - BFP (3x day 3 frozen) April m/c at 8 weeks DHEA, Q10 and continue acupuncture in prep for next cycle July - chemical IVF #2 - Aug/Sept 2012 -225 Gonalf & 225 menopur Sept 17th - eSET 1 blast (5 basts frozen) Sept 30 - BFP First u/s Oct 18 - measuring on track, hb 150 NT scan - measuring on track and low risk DD arrived June 2013 FET #1 - March 2015 - BFN FET #2 - July 2015 - eSET Chemical (1 transfered 3 didn't survive thaw) Aug 2015 Natural BFP - Chemical FET #3 - Oct 2015 - two transfered (1 didn't survive thaw - no more frozen) - Chemical. All frozen used & no success. On DHEA and Q10 in prep for next treatment. Dec 2015 BFP - Chemical, Jan 2016 Chemical. IVF #3 (with ICSI) Feb 2016

#30 maritimeajs

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Posted 05 April 2013 - 07:18 PM

...when you stop shaving your legs to go for yet another lets-have-a-random-stranger-look-at-your-hoohoo appointment.


  • gibasgirl, Juliet, Red Wine and 6 others like this

Me: 41 42
Fiancé: 42
We have been together 12 years and haven't gotten pregnant.
 
1993- DD ( from a previous relationship)
1995- Pulmonary embolism (diagnosed with blood clotting disorder)
1998- Ectopic pregnancy- emergency surgery to remove the ruptured tube, remaining tube seriously scarred
2012:
Oct- First visit to the RFP clinic
Oct- HSG- remaining tube is open, uterine polyps found
Nov- SHG
2013- IVF #1:
Jan 10 -Surgery (hysteroscopy and D&C) to remove several uterine polyps
Feb 26- AF
Mar 2- Start Fragmin injections (for blood clotting disorder) and 21 days (ended up only being 12 days) of BCP (Marvelon)
Mar 20- (changed to Mar 14) Baseline ultrasound and blood tests
Mar 25- (changed to Mar 17) Start Suprefact injections (End April 3rd)
Mar 27- (changed to Mar 19) AF... Start Gonal F  450 IU injections (End April 2nd)
Apr 2, 5, 7- (changed to Mar 22, 25, 28, 30, Apr 1) Ultrasounds & blood tests
       Mar 22- Stim Day #4: Right side- 4 follicles; Left side- 5 follicles; Estrogen 554
       Mar 25- Stim Day #7: Right side- 6 follicles (three largest- 1.0, 0.9, 0.8cm); Left side- 6 follicles (three largest- 1.1, 1.0, 1.1cm); Estrogen 1883
       Mar 28- Stim Day #10: Right side- 9 follicles (three largest- 1.3, 1.0, 1.2cm); Left side- 7 follicles (three largest- 1.4, 1.4, 1.2cm) ;Estrogen 4874
       Mar 30- Stim Day #12: Right- 9 follicles (three largest- 1.4, 1.1, 1.3cm); Left- 6 follicles (three largest- 1.85, 1.55, 1.3cm); Estrogen 9377
       Apr 1- Stim Day #14: Right- 9 follicles (three largest- 1.65, 1.4, 1.7cm); Left- 6 follicles (three largest- 2.15, 1.95, 1.7cm); Estrogen ? 
Apr 7-10- (changed to Mar 30- Apr 1 Apr 2) HGC injection
Apr 10-12 (changed to Apr 1-3 Apr 4) ER--13 eggs retrieved (7 good, 4 okay, 2 not mature)
Apr 5- Embryologist report-- 9 eggs fertilized naturally
Apr 6- Embryologist report-- 4- 4 cell and 5- 2 cell embryos
Apr 13-15 (changed to Apr 4-6 Apr 7)  Day 3 ET- Transferred best 3- 8 cell embryos. Embryologist thinks 1-2 of the rest will survive to Day 6 to be frozen.
Apr 10- Embryologist report-- 1 survived...but not high enough quality to survive freezing icon_speech_sigh.gif 
Apr 22- Urine pregnancy test- BFN
Devastated... more than I thought I'd be. Not sure where we go from here...

IVF #2:

Jul 21 Start BCP and Fragmin

Aug 4 Start Suprefact

Aug 6 Start Gonal F 450 IU

Aug 12 Stim Day #7: Right side- 7 (three largest- 0.85, 0.9, 0.9cm);  follicles; Left side- 7 follicles (three largest- 0.65, 0.7, 0.75cm); Estrogen 2,844

Aug 15 Stim Day #10: Right side- 9 follicles (three largest- 1.3, 1.1, 1.1cm); Left side- 7 follicles (three largest- 1.1, 1.1, 0.9cm) ;Estrogen 8,080

     Gonal F reduced to 300 IU (risk of OHSS)

Aug 17 Stim Day #12: Right side- 9 follicles (three largest- 1.8, 1.55, 1.5cm); Left side- 7 follicles (three largest- 1.2, 1.35, 1.6cm) ;Estrogen 15,891

     Goanl F reduced to 0 IU

Aug 18 Stim Day #13 Right side- 9 follicles (three largest- 1.75, 2.0, 1.55cm); Left side- 7 follicles (three largest- 1.7, 1.5, 1.5cm) ;Estrogen 16,152

Aug 18 HCG injection and start Dostinex (for risk of OHSS)

Aug 20 ER- 15 eggs retrieved (10 good, 3 maybes, 2 not mature)

Aug 21 Embryologist report- 12 eggs fertilized naturally

Aug 22 Embryologist report- "slow", everything is only at 2 cell stage except one 4 cell embryo...not what they'd like to see sad.png

Aug 23 Day 3 ET- Transferred 3 "perfect" 8 cell embryos. Two of the remaining are only 4 cell and not expect to do much. The rest are 6, 7, and 8 cell and hopefully some will survive to freeze... will find out on Monday, Aug 26

Aug 27 Embryologist report- Froze 4 day 6 blasts (1 was starting to hatch) on Aug 26,  Froze 1 day 7 blast today smile.png

Sep 5 HPT-- BFN sad.png 

Sep 7 Urine Pregnancy test (probably won't get the results until Monday, Sept 9)-- BFN

Oct 11 WTF appointment

FET #1:

Dec 2 Transferred 2 Day 6 blasts (Still have 3 frozen)

Dec 15 Urine pregnancy test


#31 Juliet

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Posted 05 April 2013 - 07:42 PM

...when you stop shaving your legs to go for yet another lets-have-a-random-stranger-look-at-your-hoohoo appointment.

 

Oooooh... good one. That is definitely a turning point. I used to groom for cycle probing and an IUI like there was a gardening award. Then one day, I realized... I don't give a rat's arsehole anymore about the technicians' opinions of my situation down there. I'll hope having a pleasant personality will make up for it instead!


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#32 My_time

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Posted 05 April 2013 - 07:49 PM

I love you girls. You are hilarious.
  • gibasgirl, If at first and Cristine like this

Diagnosis: Repeated Pregnancy Loss + DOR + Advance maternal Age.

So far no luck with IVF attempts. Hope things take a turn soon.

 


#33 quandry

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Posted 05 April 2013 - 08:29 PM

I haven't reached that point yet...  although sometimes when I have to leave at 5 AM to make it there on time I DO forget!  But it's never on purpose, LOL


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#34 My_time

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Posted 06 April 2013 - 05:22 AM

Okay here is a low blow:
You know you are infertile when your DH knows all of the XXX movies of your fertility centre by heart!!
  • Vetter, gibasgirl, rokgerl and 11 others like this

Diagnosis: Repeated Pregnancy Loss + DOR + Advance maternal Age.

So far no luck with IVF attempts. Hope things take a turn soon.

 


#35 Red Wine

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Posted 06 April 2013 - 10:41 AM

you know you're infertile when your doctor actually remembers who you are.  

 

you know you're infertile when you pick up birth control pills and preg-vit pills from the pharmacy at the same time and the pharmacist is so bewildered.  That's a fun one.


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#36 rokgerl

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Posted 06 April 2013 - 11:32 AM

You know you're infertile when you're able to rattle off your medical history faster than the things you did yesterday.


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#37 me'n'B

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Posted 06 April 2013 - 03:02 PM

You realize you're getting knocked up by a stranger because its a new intern doing the iui or transfer.
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<span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-family:georgia, serif;"><span style="color:#ee82ee;">TTC with Hypothyroid, AMH 11.9, FSH 6-8 </span>
Me: 34 DH: 31 First Consult: May 3, 2012</span></span><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-family:georgia, serif;"></span></span><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-family:georgia, serif;">
Clomid 25mg: July 2012 - Cancelled cycle, no response :(
Clomid 50mg: August 2012 - two good follies, 19 and 15 when surging naturally. BFN
Clomid 50mg: September 2012 - no monitoring, started acupuncture. BFN
Clomid 75mg: October 2012 with acupuncture. Ovidrel trigger. BFP but sadly early loss.
Clomid 75mg: November and December 2012 with acupuncture. Both BFN
Natural cycle: January 2013 BFN Puregon 58-75mg: February 2013 with iui. BFN
Natural cycle BFN Round 2-5 of Puregon with iui: March to May 2013 all BFN
Hello IVF. Starting bcp June 2013, Suprefact, Puregon 150mg and Menopur 75.
Retrieved 9 eggs after 10 days of stims. 8 Mature and 7 fertilized. 6 divided normally.
Day 3 transfer of two embabies.
Positive beta!
</span></span>

#38 lexi

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Posted 06 April 2013 - 10:17 PM

Toooo funny girls! Loved them all!

 

Cracked right up at the Pink Taco comment!! lmao!


Trying to conceive since 2007.

 

Me: 40 Husband: 39

 

IUI's completed - 14

IUI's cancelled after starting meds - 3

 

Miscarriages from IUI's - 5 8388.gif 8388.gif 8388.gif 8388.gif8388.gif

Surgeries to remove Polyps - 4

 

You are my angels, my darlings, my stars...and my love will find you, wherever you are.


#39 Frannie2012

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Posted 07 April 2013 - 01:06 PM

This is hillarious!!

You know you're infertile when....you look forward to a wand being stuck in your nether regions to see how many follicles are popping up this cycle...

Or....you plan your vacation time around ER! Who has time or money for vacations anymore!! LOL!!
  • gibasgirl, Red Wine, Lisa1981 and 3 others like this

Me: 33

DH: 35

 

TTC since Sept. 2011

 

Aug. 2012 - DX with PCOS (started metformin)

Aug. 2012 - Oct 2012 - clomid + trigger , timed X2 - BFN

Oct 2012-Jan 2013 - clomid + trigger IUI X3 - BFN

 

Took a break until the spring to begin IVF -

 

June 1 - Started BCPs

June 24 - Start stimming....75iu meopur, 75iu puregon

June 27- (moved up to 100iu of puregon)

June 29 (moved up to 150 iu of puregon)

July 1 - scan...6-10 follicles expected on ER day

July 3 - last day of stimming, HCG trigger

July 5 - ER.....8 Retrived, 5 mature, 5 fertilized

July 7 - 5 embryos

July 8 - ET (2, grade 1 embryos transferred), 3 embryos to be frozen (1 - grade 1, 2 - grade 2)

 

July 22 - BFP!!! 

July 24 - Beta repeated - numbers doubling....fingers crossed for a healthy pregnancy!!


#40 Frannie2012

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Posted 07 April 2013 - 01:10 PM

Juliet!! I laughed so hard!!! Before I shaved my legs and cared...never thought people looking at my lady bits wouldn't bother me at all...but really...it doesn't!
  • gibasgirl and maritimeajs like this

Me: 33

DH: 35

 

TTC since Sept. 2011

 

Aug. 2012 - DX with PCOS (started metformin)

Aug. 2012 - Oct 2012 - clomid + trigger , timed X2 - BFN

Oct 2012-Jan 2013 - clomid + trigger IUI X3 - BFN

 

Took a break until the spring to begin IVF -

 

June 1 - Started BCPs

June 24 - Start stimming....75iu meopur, 75iu puregon

June 27- (moved up to 100iu of puregon)

June 29 (moved up to 150 iu of puregon)

July 1 - scan...6-10 follicles expected on ER day

July 3 - last day of stimming, HCG trigger

July 5 - ER.....8 Retrived, 5 mature, 5 fertilized

July 7 - 5 embryos

July 8 - ET (2, grade 1 embryos transferred), 3 embryos to be frozen (1 - grade 1, 2 - grade 2)

 

July 22 - BFP!!! 

July 24 - Beta repeated - numbers doubling....fingers crossed for a healthy pregnancy!!


#41 lexi

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Posted 07 April 2013 - 10:20 PM

You know you are infertile when... ALL the Doctors and Nurses at the clinic know you by first name, not just your Doctor. And even the Lab techs.

 

You know you are infertile when....the most exciting part of your month is finding out how many follicles you have...kind of like Christmas.


  • gibasgirl, rokgerl, Juliet and 2 others like this

Trying to conceive since 2007.

 

Me: 40 Husband: 39

 

IUI's completed - 14

IUI's cancelled after starting meds - 3

 

Miscarriages from IUI's - 5 8388.gif 8388.gif 8388.gif 8388.gif8388.gif

Surgeries to remove Polyps - 4

 

You are my angels, my darlings, my stars...and my love will find you, wherever you are.


#42 If at first

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Posted 08 April 2013 - 08:31 PM

You have at least three different sizes of pants in your closet... some for stims, some when you're waiting and some just in case (fingers crossed) these treatments ever work...


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Journey on 'about me' page

 


#43 gibasgirl

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Posted 08 April 2013 - 08:41 PM

You've considered buying your husband porn to help him out on ER day.
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#44 ladylazarus

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Posted 08 April 2013 - 10:12 PM

....and you feel guilty that you can't help him out like you did during all those IUI's (and you were so sure one of those IUI's was actually going to work!)


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#45 Want2bmamma

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Posted 08 April 2013 - 11:17 PM

When you go for a bikini wax, and the estetician asks what type of wax you want and then answer " whatever will make it look the most presentable to the 50 different people who will need to look at it the next two weeks"
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#46 L_in_Calgary

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Posted 09 April 2013 - 07:32 AM

Your social life used to consist of coffee with friends, drinks/cocktails, hot tub. Now your social life is even busier but includes acupunture, fertility yoga, counseling/support group, ivf.ca, blood work, ultrasound, chinese medicine, arranging bank loans.....no time or money left for wine and dinning out.


  • squirt, gibasgirl, lexi and 12 others like this
me 37 dh 38 ttc since May 2010 (high FSH, mild MF) Aug - Sept 2011- 2 cycles with Clomid and TI - 2xBFN Sept - Nov 2011 - 3 IUIs with clomid - 3xBFN IVF #1 Jan/Feb 2012 - 300 Gonal F eSET - 3 day - BFP (3x day 3 frozen) April m/c at 8 weeks DHEA, Q10 and continue acupuncture in prep for next cycle July - chemical IVF #2 - Aug/Sept 2012 -225 Gonalf & 225 menopur Sept 17th - eSET 1 blast (5 basts frozen) Sept 30 - BFP First u/s Oct 18 - measuring on track, hb 150 NT scan - measuring on track and low risk DD arrived June 2013 FET #1 - March 2015 - BFN FET #2 - July 2015 - eSET Chemical (1 transfered 3 didn't survive thaw) Aug 2015 Natural BFP - Chemical FET #3 - Oct 2015 - two transfered (1 didn't survive thaw - no more frozen) - Chemical. All frozen used & no success. On DHEA and Q10 in prep for next treatment. Dec 2015 BFP - Chemical, Jan 2016 Chemical. IVF #3 (with ICSI) Feb 2016

#47 Vetter

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Posted 09 April 2013 - 08:49 AM

......... when you u/s wand technician is getting more action than your dh.


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#48 Vetter

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Posted 09 April 2013 - 08:50 AM

......... when hearing the word needle, and IMMEDIATELY think injectibles/IF. 


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#49 sophi_H

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Posted 12 April 2013 - 05:47 PM

........when your relatives and friends have stopped telling you "what are you waiting for, have a baby".....because they somehow realized that is not your choice but the IF..........


  • gibasgirl and Diamond like this

Me 40, DH 49

IVF 1 - 5 embryos - PGD - all abnormal

IVF 2- 8 embryos - PGD- 2 N, one transfer - BFN, the other gone after thawing

IVF 3- 4 embryos - none on day 5

That is the end of IVF journey

 


#50 sophi_H

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Posted 12 April 2013 - 05:49 PM

....................when the first thing you check is ivf.ca........then your facebook..........then your email.........!!!


  • gibasgirl, ladylazarus, lexi and 12 others like this

Me 40, DH 49

IVF 1 - 5 embryos - PGD - all abnormal

IVF 2- 8 embryos - PGD- 2 N, one transfer - BFN, the other gone after thawing

IVF 3- 4 embryos - none on day 5

That is the end of IVF journey