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11 months sleep issues


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#1 frostedlemon

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Posted 03 August 2012 - 11:25 AM

My son is 11 1/2 months old. He usually sleeps like a dream - he acts sleepy, I get him ready for bed, I nurse him, he either falls asleep or gets dozy, I put him down and walk out. Occasionally I rock him fully to sleep, but putting him down is no problem, even if he wakes up a bit, he goes right back to sleep and he would be out for many many hours and if he did wake up it would be really easy to get him back to sleep.

Starting about three weeks ago, it all changed. He has tons of trouble getting to sleep, he lays awake in my arms with his eyes glazing over and rolling back in his head for hours but can't seem to fall asleep well, he wakes up when I try to put him down even if he was slack-mouthed-paci-falling-out asleep, and then he SCREAMS. And it's not "I'm a bit upset" kind of crying, it's like immediately hysterical stuff that I cannot and will not let him cry it out (I let him go 10 minutes last night because I was on my third attempt to get him down and when I went back in he was so upset he kept crying on and off after I picked him up, like he couldn't get out of the crying cycle). He occasionally acts like his usual self and will go to sleep no problem, and in fact we thought we had traced the problem to some red Tylenol my husband had picked up right around the time this started because right after we switched back to the white kind (he's teething, so we usually give him a bit before bed) he was back to normal for about five nights, but he's since reverted to this wakeful stuff. Sometimes he won't be hysterical and then I'll let him cry and he's usually asleep within a few minutes, but that's only when he's totally exhausted.

Then once I've FINALLY gotten him to sleep, he wakes up after a few hours and we start all over again, often with a couple hours of him playing and crawling around. Last night he went down at 9 (he's usually in bed by 6), woke up at 11, was up until 3, woke up at 5:30, went back down fairly easily, and was back up at 7:30. Usually his naps have been easier to get him down but today took a while.

I've googled and all I can find is people asking why their 11 month olds don't sleep through the night. I don't care if he's up and wanting to eat, that's fine... it's just this constant struggle to get him to sleep. I'm exhausted from not sleeping, from not getting any breaks from him, from fighting with him constantly, from not knowing what to do. I'm starting to dread bedtime, I'm terrified that once he's asleep in my arms that I'm going to try to put him down at the wrong moment (is there a right moment?) and have to start all over again.

Does this sound familiar to anyone else? I know it could be teething, it could be that he's finally starting to figure out to crawl properly (though he's been mobile army crawling for weeks now), it could be a developmental phase that his brain is just too active for sleep. I just have no idea what to do. Any thoughts, even if it's just "my kid did that and after x amount of time they stopped".

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#2 silverdollar

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Posted 03 August 2012 - 11:50 AM

We've had similar baby insomnia issues on and off. I don't know what causes them, but eventually they do pass and we get sleeping better until the next off phase comes. I've not yet found any magic solution that really works unfortunately.
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#3 hope floats

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Posted 03 August 2012 - 01:24 PM

We also have had this issue on and off. Usually there is sickness or teething or developmental stage.... There are so many things that stop them from sleeping. It always passes but sometimes it takes a while. We also change things around when sleep isn't working so well. We sleep with him when we know something is bothering him. I've found over time he has gotten easier to cart around after falling asleep, so we have less of the oh crap moments when you put him in his crib and he wakes up immediately. But for all there are still times that no matter what I do, all I can do is lay with him and he sleeps better, but not perfect. I hope whatever is bothering him will pass soon. I know its so hard and so tiring.

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#4 sharlene

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Posted 03 August 2012 - 01:35 PM

It does suck - especially when he was an easier sleeper and then things changed. I agree with the prior posters - it will pass - just as all their phases - but right now it's not fun (at all!). With Jonah it's usually something physically bothering him or a developmental thing - he does seem to sleep better in bed with us (though I sleep worse) - so perhaps go with that for a while if you can. I hope it passes quickly (I'm also assuming you've had his ears checked already).

#5 jaan

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Posted 03 August 2012 - 02:23 PM

Hang in there...sounds like maybe he's on a bit of a growth spurt mixed with teething and his bedtime routine is adjusting, at about 1yr my twins also changed their routine on me, they went from 2 naps to 1 nap and the bedtime got earlier. Being able to self sooth to sleep is one of the best skills you will ever give your child, I don't recomend rocking him to sleep or letting him sleep in your bed or laying down with him, jmho those are habits that can be very very difficult to break once you start them, so if you haven't started those things I wouldn't start them now. Continue with a solid bedtime routine, bath, nursing, to bed.....I understand cio isn't for everyone but it does work, and having kids that can settle themselves is really important. I had to do it with both my twins to keep them on a schedule, I went through ups and downs where one child would sleep all night and then the other would wake and vice versa, it can be really exhausting, but once they "get it" that bed time is bed time life improves by 1000%, I had friends who had to lie with their kids for hours to put them to sleep and they hated it. Sorry you are going through this...I hope it gets better, ps if he is teething nothing wrong with giving tylenol alsoPosted Image

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#6 frostedlemon

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Posted 05 August 2012 - 08:03 PM

Thanks everyone! I've tried laying in bed with him, but he just gets excited and wants to crawl all over the bed, which is not safe and just makes me more annoyed because I want to be sleeping. At least if we're up and he's crawling on the floor I don't have to prevent himself from flinging himself off the bed.

He's always known how to put himself to sleep and he still knows how, when he's in a headspace where he can sleep, it just seems like his brain isn't turning off properly or something. I hope it's just a phase, because up until now he's slept like my husband and this is way more like me - something I was hoping to spare him as well as us! ;) He's already down to one nap (at 8 months he did that, since he does most of his sleeping at night and would only take 2 ever anyway), and he has been wanting to stay up a bit later but not like this.

I'm just glad to hear that it sounds pretty normal. We've had some sleep regressions where he'd be more wakeful, but he would always go back to sleep easily so this is way out of left field. I could always put up with anything annoying he was doing because he always slept well and that let me get my sleep too.

Okay, I apparently started writing this a few days ago and then didn't finish it. Here's a new update: We started putting him to bed later, and although it's only been a couple of nights, things have been going a lot better. He's falling asleep faster and even though he usually still wakes up and cries when I put him down, he isn't getting hysterical and he stops crying within a few minutes at the most, and one time he just had one "waaah" and then fell asleep. Usually he cries for maybe 30 seconds and then he's out. I think he's hitting a growth spurt since he's eating a fair bit and nursing a lot as well, but he's mostly eating frequently during the day and not so much during the night so I'm feeling a lot more rested and able to deal with him not being at his best. I've noticed a few new mental leaps lately, so I'm guessing it is a developmental thing he's going through.

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#7 Rosa

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Posted 20 August 2012 - 05:30 AM

HI,

I went through many sleep phases with DD who is now 3. Teething and growth spurts can definitely set things off, and these come and go and not much we can do about them. He's already down to 1 nap, otherwise I would have suggested trying to cut down to just 1 per day. At the same age DD was only napping for about 45 minutes a day and the naps weren't long and she slept well at night. It was shortly after this at around 13 months that our nanny starting getting her to sleep around 3 hours a day during her naps and our night times became a nightmare where she was up in a similar way as you described and wanted to play at night. Then we started co-sleeping to compensate and it made our lives miserable. We had to cut down on her naps to bring them into a reasonable line to the amount of sleep she actually needed. I think at around 12 months the "average" amount of sleep needed is 12 hours a day, so 10 hours overnight and a 2 hour nap would fit the bill. This is only an average and probably most children will sleep to within an hour of that average in total sleep in a 24 hour period. I'm not sure if the length of time you are trying to get him to sleep has anything to do with this, but I thought I would share my experience with you anyway.

Then we went through more issues when she was close to 2 and again she started not sleeping at night and being up half the night. The naps had lengthened again (around 2 hours) which you would think would be reasonable for a very active toddler. However she really didn't need that much sleep anymore and was down to around 10.5 hours in a 24 hour period. Some days were 11 hours but NEVER more than that. We just found at this point we had to almost eliminate naps altogether. I spoke to my ped who said "she's almost 2, let her nap for 30 minutes then wake her up, she doesn't need as much sleep as she once did". Best advice ever as she started to sleep through the night again after being up for half the night and crying A LOT. It took us around 3 months to get her back to sleeping through the night after this bout.

I realize not every sleep problem is around napping, but I would just keep in mind how much sleep your child actually needs as it decreases gradually with time and it happens very slowly.
Me 45, DH 41
TTC 3 years
Uterine polyps, high prolactin levels and tested positive for anti-cardio lipin
5 failed IUI's
IVF #1 July 2007, 32 eggs retrieved (many immature), 12 fertilzed, 9 made it to day 3, transferred 3 embbies, BFN
FET #1 - 3 embryos Oct 07, beta Nov 2nd, another BFN
IVF #2 - Nov 2007, on Lupron and birth control pill, 11 days of stims 225 Gonal F plus 75 Repronex and 150 Gonal F at night, retrieved 18 eggs Dec 11th, 8 fertilized through ICSI and 4 naturally
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U/S date Dec 7/08, heart beat 160 beats per minute, growth good 8 w 2 days
U/S date Dec 13/08, heart beat 157 beats per minute, growth good at 9 w 1 day, baby moving around
U/S date Dec 27/08, heart beat 165 beats per minute, growth good at 11 weeks 1 day, baby moving around, now has arms and legs and was kicking
nuchal test US Jan 2/08 TEXTBOOK NORMAL Thank you God!
IPS pregnancy test results NORMAL, risk is 1/800 of Down's Syndrome and 1/1,100 for spina bifida
anatomical u/s NORMAL, it's a girl!
Due date July 18, 2009 in the home stretch

Sophia Anne born July 22, 2009 at 12:41 AM via emergency C-Section.

Fell down the stairs Aug 4, 2010, fractured C7, T1, T3 and 4 ribs (neck and upper spine). Still healing and hoping bones fuse on their own.

#8 frostedlemon

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Posted 20 August 2012 - 09:22 AM

Rosa - Thanks for your reply. I think you were onto the root of the problem. We've been putting him to bed a bit later for the past few weeks and he's back to his usual self for both naps and nighttime. I think maybe he had just reached the point where he no longer needed to be in bed so early. I've kept his naps the same although I'll wake him up if he goes longer than 2 hours or if he's gone down later than usual to maintain the same bedtime (important for my sanity!). He's now sleeping from around 7pm until around 7:30 or 8am (not complaining about that!), and naps for 2 hours usually from 11-1 or so. Sometimes he's up once to eat, sometimes not. And he seems to prefer to put himself to sleep these days sometimes rather than falling asleep with me. Things are definitely going better around here. Until the next time anyway ;)

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#9 Rosa

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Posted 20 August 2012 - 05:27 PM

I'm glad it's better - 14 hours a day is great for a 12 month old, I just found my child needed less sleep at that age and in general sleeps much less than other comparable babies. At 2 I almost had to eliminate naps, but I found out DH was just like this. My child is active but never seems to get tired easily.

I guess they're just like us - some people only need 6 hours a night, others need 8 or 9 to feel fine. Our sleep is also impacted by our activity levels, whether we're growing or we are sick and getting over something. We typically sleep more then. I learned a lot about sleep having gone through problems with DD and the approach to take if suddenly baby is no longer sleeping through the night is to look at their schedule. Count how many hours in a 24 hour period your child actually sleeps (not how much time they are in the crib) and average it over a 1 or 2 week period. Then you should have a good idea how much sleep they actually need and you can schedule bedtime, sleeptime and naps as appropriate. If they're playing and up at night they aren't TIRED. If they were tired they would sleep, just like we would. I learned this the hard way as DD would be up and playing too. I thought it might be sleep times because you said your baby was up and playing and that's not the sign of an overly tired baby.

Sickness or teething tends to have a limited time span and not go on (few days while tooth is erupting or few days while the child has a cold or fever). When it goes on over a longer period you have to suspect the sleep schedule might be off. And as I said a child's sleep needs keep decreasing as they go into toddlerhood and become school age.

Anyway I hope this did help - I wish I knew this when I was going through all the sleep problems with DD.
Me 45, DH 41
TTC 3 years
Uterine polyps, high prolactin levels and tested positive for anti-cardio lipin
5 failed IUI's
IVF #1 July 2007, 32 eggs retrieved (many immature), 12 fertilzed, 9 made it to day 3, transferred 3 embbies, BFN
FET #1 - 3 embryos Oct 07, beta Nov 2nd, another BFN
IVF #2 - Nov 2007, on Lupron and birth control pill, 11 days of stims 225 Gonal F plus 75 Repronex and 150 Gonal F at night, retrieved 18 eggs Dec 11th, 8 fertilized through ICSI and 4 naturally
Transfer - 3, 8 cell embryos Dec 14th, BETA Dec 28th, BFN
7 frozen
FET #2 - June 5/08, BFN
hysteroscopy and polypectomy on Sept 25/08, removed 1 polyp
FET #3 - used up my last 4 frosties Oct 27/08
Beta Nov 9/08 125 BFP 13dp3dt
Beta Nov 11/08 315 15dp3dt
Beta Nov 15/08 over 2000 19dp3dt
Beta Nov 18/08 7365 22dp3dt
U/S date Nov 29/08, a singleton, heart beat 131 beats per minute
U/S date Dec 7/08, heart beat 160 beats per minute, growth good 8 w 2 days
U/S date Dec 13/08, heart beat 157 beats per minute, growth good at 9 w 1 day, baby moving around
U/S date Dec 27/08, heart beat 165 beats per minute, growth good at 11 weeks 1 day, baby moving around, now has arms and legs and was kicking
nuchal test US Jan 2/08 TEXTBOOK NORMAL Thank you God!
IPS pregnancy test results NORMAL, risk is 1/800 of Down's Syndrome and 1/1,100 for spina bifida
anatomical u/s NORMAL, it's a girl!
Due date July 18, 2009 in the home stretch

Sophia Anne born July 22, 2009 at 12:41 AM via emergency C-Section.

Fell down the stairs Aug 4, 2010, fractured C7, T1, T3 and 4 ribs (neck and upper spine). Still healing and hoping bones fuse on their own.