6 replies to this topic

[amethyst]

Hi - This is my third failed IVF and the although during the first two ... I physically was exhausted and emotionally spent, I never felt like I was literally losing it. I have heard of other women who experience terrible emotional swings but up until now - nothing this extreme. I fully realize it may be related to the absolute exhaustion and complete sadness that I now must accept that I will not get pregnant on my own with my own eggs. We are purusing DE now but ...all weekend - stopped meds on Thurs evening after failed preg test. Period started gang busters on Saturday. Today I am having a hard time mentally doing simple tasks, and literally feel like whipping a few plates across the room. I have never had such intense feelings like this. I am thinking the combination of real sadness over our loss and disappointment but ... also wonder if my hormones are completely out of whack. Each IVF I have had to do the extreme protocol with highest amount of stim meds ...

any body else experiencing this?

[dougbliss]

Hi Amethyst,
I can relate my dear....also had 2 failed IVF's, even with the highest amount of meds allowed....felt completely off and was an emotional wreck for months afterwards. Hot flashes even continued after I assumed the meds were out of my system!! I still have my days where I feel I am losing it and think its a combination of trying to keep hope and trying to deal with the fact I may never get pregnant......It does get better, hang in there hun!

[AbbyJade]

Oh yes. I, too, can absolutely relate. My last failed ivf was in May. We attended an adoption seminar at the end of June, and I bawled the entire seminar. I was so angry at all of the things we have to do to adopt. It felt like more cruel and unusual punishment. I continue to go between being fine to extremely sad to angry at others. It would be nice if I could compartmentalize all of my feeling surrounding having a baby, but the reality is, there are reminders of it everywhere. Hang in there. I hope you find some comfort in the fact that there are lots of us out here who get what you're feeling.

[amethyst]

Thx for your support ... It helps to know that others are experiencing this too. yes - the hormones are a huge part but just the emotional ups and downs and all over the place with each step is brutal. If another person tells me I just need to be "more relaxed" and I will get pregnant - I might just loose it. ... if another person tells me that it must be that my uterus just isn't happy and if I visualize a happy uterus then all with be ok ... I may scream!!!! The picture I have developed of my uterus is likely similar to the tulip fields in Holland ... It likely would win a master gardening award. The problem is that I am not trying to create a perennial garden in my uterus but a healthy baby. Har Har.

thx everyone

[dougbliss]

^{I had a big chuckle out of the "happy uterus" comment! Thank you for that!! If I had a dollar for every time someone told me to relax and let it happen I wouldn't still be working!! Unless you've gone through what all of us have, it's hard to understand and I find some say those things because they don't know what else to say. I am amazed at how many of us there are and it gives me comfort to know I am not the only one going through it. I agree with the process for adoption.....it is brutal and time consuming, not to mention you feel like you are on trial! Passing on all my support and good vibes to you ladies...these forums are a blessing in disguise}

[Lucida]

I can relate. Stay hopeful!

Age 38: DH: 53

After 4 failed IUI's, 3 failed IVF's (poor responder), and 1 failed egg donor program I am happy to say I am pregnant. It was a surprise to us.

Back in April 2012, I
was given a lydia pinkham bottle by my mother. I honestly had given up on the idea of having a child;however, I decided to humor my mother and took the liquid as instructed and stopped a day before ovulation. No pregnancy after the first bottle. Mom sent me another bottle and I took it as instructed. I thought to myself what do I have to loose.

( I had also been taking MACA supplement 1200mg which I continue to take through first trimester.)

I am a little over 3 months pregnant and I am told so far all is well.

[Muminwaiting]

Oh just what my husband needs. An even bitchier wife! LOL