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Emotionally Loony Toons after IVF


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#1 amethyst

amethyst

    Amethyst

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  • Gender:Female
  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:Calgary RFP changed to San Diego FC

Posted 02 July 2012 - 08:44 PM

Hi - This is my third failed IVF and the although during the first two ... I physically was exhausted and emotionally spent, I never felt like I was literally losing it. I have heard of other women who experience terrible emotional swings but up until now - nothing this extreme. I fully realize it may be related to the absolute exhaustion and complete sadness that I now must accept that I will not get pregnant on my own with my own eggs. We are purusing DE now but ...all weekend - stopped meds on Thurs evening after failed preg test. Period started gang busters on Saturday. Today I am having a hard time mentally doing simple tasks, and literally feel like whipping a few plates across the room. I have never had such intense feelings like this. I am thinking the combination of real sadness over our loss and disappointment but ... also wonder if my hormones are completely out of whack. Each IVF I have had to do the extreme protocol with highest amount of stim meds ...

any body else experiencing this?
<p>TTC 5 yrs - me 42 / him 42. X6 IUI's none took1st IVF successful with 3 , day 3 transferred/ +preg w/ twins (one ectopic - learned @ 7 weeks) and lost both. 2nd IVF an FET - 4 frosties transferred - no pregnancy. 3rd fresh IVF - / 9 eggs/ 8 fertilized - 3 blast survived to day 5 and transferred - no pregnancy none to freeze. 4th FET - 2 embryos from first IVF cycle transferred no pregnancy. Moved to DE SDFC April 2013 - 2 blasts fresh transfer, beta great we are pregnant with twins!!!!

#2 dougbliss

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  • Dx:DOR

Posted 03 July 2012 - 07:28 AM

Hi Amethyst,
I can relate my dear....also had 2 failed IVF's, even with the highest amount of meds allowed....felt completely off and was an emotional wreck for months afterwards. Hot flashes even continued after I assumed the meds were out of my system!! I still have my days where I feel I am losing it and think its a combination of trying to keep hope and trying to deal with the fact I may never get pregnant......It does get better, hang in there hun! :)

TTC since 2008
Natural pregnancy 2008
Blighted Ovum at 6 weeks sad.png
2010 1 failed IVF
2011 1 failed IVF and 2 failed IUI's
Sept 2012 Second opinion: Low ovarian reserve
Sept 2012 Applied to embryo donation program with California Conceptions
Nov 2012 Consult
Dec 2012 Visit to Davis for U/S....fibroid needed to be removed, waiting for hysteroscopy

Feb 2013 Hysterscopy, fibroid NOT removed

March 2013 Officially Done this baby journey........

 


#3 AbbyJade

AbbyJade
  • Member
  • 31 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Ontario
  • Interests:Love my 3 doggies. Interests as of lately seem to be anything related to my uterus, period, ovulation, sperm quality, follicles, and let's not forget vaginal ultrasounds, acupuncture, and herbal tea! Ugh!!!


    IVF #1: Short protocol on bravelle and menopur
    11 eggs retrieved, 4 fertilized.
    3 made it to day 5 (2 morulas, 1 4AA)
    Transferred all 3!
    BFN :(

    IVF #2: Long Lupron, GonalF
    19 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized.
    3 made it to day 5 (2 morulas, 2BB)
    Transferred all 3!
    BFN :(

    Laparoscopy and Hysteroscopy Surgery:
    Uterine septum removal and both fallopian tubes removed :(

    IVF #3 BFN

    2nd Laparoscopy to be scheduled. Probably not for many months as everything is a long wait. So frustrated.

    IVF #4: BFN
    10 eggs, all fertilized, none really good at transfer - put two lousy ones in!
  • Dx:Unexplained

Posted 03 July 2012 - 08:28 PM

Oh yes. I, too, can absolutely relate. My last failed ivf was in May. We attended an adoption seminar at the end of June, and I bawled the entire seminar. I was so angry at all of the things we have to do to adopt. It felt like more cruel and unusual punishment. I continue to go between being fine to extremely sad to angry at others. It would be nice if I could compartmentalize all of my feeling surrounding having a baby, but the reality is, there are reminders of it everywhere. Hang in there. I hope you find some comfort in the fact that there are lots of us out here who get what you're feeling.

IVF #1: Short protocol on bravelle and menopur
11 eggs retrieved, 4 fertilized.
3 made it to day 5 (2 morulas, 1 4AA)
Transferred all 3!
BFN sad.png

IVF #2: Long Lupron, GonalF
19 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized.
3 made it to day 5 (2 morulas, 2BB)
Transferred all 3!
BFN sad.png

 

IVF #3:  Puregon and Menopur

6 eggs, 1 made it to blast

Transferred 1

BFN sad.png

 


#4 amethyst

amethyst

    Amethyst

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  • My Clinic:Calgary RFP changed to San Diego FC

Posted 05 July 2012 - 10:22 PM

Thx for your support ... It helps to know that others are experiencing this too. yes - the hormones are a huge part but just the emotional ups and downs and all over the place with each step is brutal. If another person tells me I just need to be "more relaxed" and I will get pregnant - I might just loose it. ... if another person tells me that it must be that my uterus just isn't happy and if I visualize a happy uterus then all with be ok ... I may scream!!!! The picture I have developed of my uterus is likely similar to the tulip fields in Holland ... It likely would win a master gardening award. The problem is that I am not trying to create a perennial garden in my uterus but a healthy baby. Har Har.

thx everyone
  • tredella likes this
<p>TTC 5 yrs - me 42 / him 42. X6 IUI's none took1st IVF successful with 3 , day 3 transferred/ +preg w/ twins (one ectopic - learned @ 7 weeks) and lost both. 2nd IVF an FET - 4 frosties transferred - no pregnancy. 3rd fresh IVF - / 9 eggs/ 8 fertilized - 3 blast survived to day 5 and transferred - no pregnancy none to freeze. 4th FET - 2 embryos from first IVF cycle transferred no pregnancy. Moved to DE SDFC April 2013 - 2 blasts fresh transfer, beta great we are pregnant with twins!!!!

#5 dougbliss

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  • Dx:DOR

Posted 06 July 2012 - 07:12 AM

I had a big chuckle out of the "happy uterus" comment! Thank you for that!! If I had a dollar for every time someone told me to relax and let it happen I wouldn't still be working!! Unless you've gone through what all of us have, it's hard to understand and I find some say those things because they don't know what else to say. I am amazed at how many of us there are and it gives me comfort to know I am not the only one going through it. I agree with the process for adoption.....it is brutal and time consuming, not to mention you feel like you are on trial! Passing on all my support and good vibes to you ladies...these forums are a blessing in disguise :)
  • tredella likes this

TTC since 2008
Natural pregnancy 2008
Blighted Ovum at 6 weeks sad.png
2010 1 failed IVF
2011 1 failed IVF and 2 failed IUI's
Sept 2012 Second opinion: Low ovarian reserve
Sept 2012 Applied to embryo donation program with California Conceptions
Nov 2012 Consult
Dec 2012 Visit to Davis for U/S....fibroid needed to be removed, waiting for hysteroscopy

Feb 2013 Hysterscopy, fibroid NOT removed

March 2013 Officially Done this baby journey........

 


#6 Lucida

Lucida
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  • Gender:Female
  • Dx:Unexplained

Posted 21 August 2012 - 08:08 AM

I can relate. Stay hopeful!

Age 38: DH: 53

After 4 failed IUI's, 3 failed IVF's (poor responder), and 1 failed egg donor program I am happy to say I am pregnant. It was a surprise to us.

Back in April 2012, I
was given a lydia pinkham bottle by my mother. I honestly had given up on the idea of having a child;however, I decided to humor my mother and took the liquid as instructed and stopped a day before ovulation. No pregnancy after the first bottle. Mom sent me another bottle and I took it as instructed. I thought to myself what do I have to loose.

( I had also been taking MACA supplement 1200mg which I continue to take through first trimester.)

I am a little over 3 months pregnant and I am told so far all is well.

#7 Muminwaiting

Muminwaiting
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  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Ontario
  • Interests:Completing my family
  • Dx:Tubal
  • My Clinic:CReATe

Posted 18 September 2012 - 10:48 PM

Oh just what my husband needs. An even bitchier wife! LOL
Me 39 DH 36
July 2012 HSG test showed blocked tubes
Sept 16/13 Consult at CReATe with Dr. Librach who will make me a Mummy in 2014
Sept 16/13 Bloodwork and AMH test (A little low)
Oct 15/13: Hysterscopy 2 polyps removed and 2 coils inserted
IVF #1Nov 4th: CD2 start BCP
Nov 11th: Start Lupron injections
Nov 27: Start Gonal F and Repronex
Dec 12: ER Estrace and Progesterone suppositories
Dec 15: ET 3 survived the process (including ICSI) Transferred 2. 1 frozen
Pregnancy test December 29th: BFN
FET #1Start Estrace again
Jan 8/14: IV Intralipids
FET: Jan 16
Beta test results Feb 1st: BFFN