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Are you Mom Enough?


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#1 Duck

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Posted 14 May 2012 - 08:59 PM

I'm sure everyone has seen the Time magazine article, here is a great response from one blogger:

http://www.jennymeye...and-so-are-you/

I know I hated the cover (interpreting it as mothers who don't breastfeed are doing their child a disservice). Like mothers who can't breastfeed really need yet another person giving us their opinion!

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#2 judes

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 09:01 AM

Duck - I agree with you. However, what is even more alarming is the infamy this kid would have when he gets older. Personally, I would never put my child in such a position. Can you imagine what would happen when he is in high school and some kid finds this? Perhaps they won't find it cause it will be old news by then, but you never know.

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#3 SandraDee

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 09:06 AM

Love that blog post, thanks for sharing it.

I haven't read the actual article (is there a link to it anywhere or do you have to buy the magazine?). I hated the cover though but for different reasons. I thought it was being deliberately provocative and made extended BFing look like some kind of freak-show. I nursed DD until 33 months and I got a ton of flack from friends and in-laws. That type of image only adds fuel to the fire. I mean that "3 year-old" looks 5 at least.

The fact is that humans are biologically intended to nurse until at least age 2. In modern western society, we don't need to nurse that long or at all because there are safe nutritious substitutes available. But I'm so tired of being judged for choosing to do something that was the norm for 90% of human evolution and does still have benefits today. In the end, I resorted to printing out the WHO and Canadian Pediatric Association fact sheets on it and handing them out to well-meaning busybodies.

And the title of the article makes me cringe. I think that BFing is great when it works but it's by no means the most important thing about being a parent. My DS wasn't much of a nurser and my supply was never enough for twins so he got mostly formula and I'm just as proud of the way I parented him as my daughter. I gave them both what the needed which is food and love. I think that moms need to stop judging each other for the choices they make or for the matters in which they have no choice. There is no one right way to raise a child. Why do we worry so much about what other parents are doing or not doing anyway? Is it insecurity? or is it articles like this that make us doubt ourselves?
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#4 SandraDee

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 09:11 AM

Good point Judes. I can just imagine his highschool friends coming across that photo in 12 years. It would be mortifying!
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#5 Duck

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 10:58 AM

Duck - I agree with you. However, what is even more alarming is the infamy this kid would have when he gets older. Personally, I would never put my child in such a position. Can you imagine what would happen when he is in high school and some kid finds this? Perhaps they won't find it cause it will be old news by then, but you never know.


It is disturbing that this mother would promote her own self interest before those of her childs, kids will be cruel, and no one wants to be on the cover of a magazine breastfeeding while standing on a chai, and clearly she didn't think about the consequences of her actions.

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#6 sharlene

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 02:09 PM

Love that blog post, thanks for sharing it.

I haven't read the actual article (is there a link to it anywhere or do you have to buy the magazine?). I hated the cover though but for different reasons. I thought it was being deliberately provocative and made extended BFing look like some kind of freak-show. I nursed DD until 33 months and I got a ton of flack from friends and in-laws. That type of image only adds fuel to the fire. I mean that "3 year-old" looks 5 at least.

The fact is that humans are biologically intended to nurse until at least age 2. In modern western society, we don't need to nurse that long or at all because there are safe nutritious substitutes available. But I'm so tired of being judged for choosing to do something that was the norm for 90% of human evolution and does still have benefits today. In the end, I resorted to printing out the WHO and Canadian Pediatric Association fact sheets on it and handing them out to well-meaning busybodies.

And the title of the article makes me cringe. I think that BFing is great when it works but it's by no means the most important thing about being a parent. My DS wasn't much of a nurser and my supply was never enough for twins so he got mostly formula and I'm just as proud of the way I parented him as my daughter. I gave them both what the needed which is food and love. I think that moms need to stop judging each other for the choices they make or for the matters in which they have no choice. There is no one right way to raise a child. Why do we worry so much about what other parents are doing or not doing anyway? Is it insecurity? or is it articles like this that make us doubt ourselves?


I never thought of printing up a pamphlet to hand out to the many people who ask me when I'm going to stop breastfeeding! What an idea! It does amaze me how many people inquire. The boy in the article (on the cover) was about to turn 4, so I think he was 47 months - which is quite different than 36 months - but hey, it was meant to be provocative so it succeeded.

#7 supermom

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 02:38 PM

From what I've read on line this mother has since gotten offers from Playboy etc... I'm eager to see if she will take them up on that and what the fall out will be given her new "are you mother enough" title.
I dont have a problem with nursing that long but its not my personal choice.
At almost 3 my DS no longer is breastfed but if he is sick or upset he wants to place his head right next to my chest for comfort (which some people think is odd), I think to each their own but I think that at some point it likely becomes more about the mothers need to feel needed vs the childs need for the breast milk.
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#8 frostedlemon

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 05:29 PM

I'm more upset that people are more up in arms about extended breastfeeding than they are about the fact that this is sensationalizing and polarizing to mothers. I guess breastfeeding is polarizing in general, but why get upset that this kid is still being breastfed and not upset about the fact that it's implying that those who don't do it that long or not at all somehow are "less" mothers? I'd be interested in actually reading the article and see what it says since often that is different than what is on the cover, which is just to sell magazines.

I dislike anything that pits mothers against each other or that makes one group seem superior to others. Everyone makes decisions that are best for them and their kids, it doesn't make what they do the only right way. Why can't we all support each other instead of needing to feel that we're doing a better job than everyone else? I like a lot of the ideas behind attachment parenting (and I hate the name of that... what is anything else, detachment parenting?), but a lot of them just are not for me. Does that make me a bad parent?

You know, parenting my kid always goes way smoother when I follow my instincts and use my brain and do what works for us, sometimes with input from others, both friends and experts. When I start focusing too much on what we "should" be doing, then I start to feel more stressed out if we're doing things differently. If more people felt confident enough to focus on themselves and what they're doing and not what everyone else is doing and looking for ways to prove their way is the best, maybe we would all be better off.
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#9 feydruss

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 06:38 PM

I think that parenting styles are very individual. Few people can call themselves "pure" attachment parents, for example! We borrow strategies and models based on what works and our own experience and heritage. I would have loved to have BF, but because I had preemies I pumped for 5 months until I was decimated by mastitis. Does that make me not "enough" of a mother? I don't think so.

I'm more curious to see what the fallout will be over the article's suggestion that attachment parenting is destroying feminism.
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#10 conky

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Posted 16 May 2012 - 08:35 AM

I think this magazine would have had far less reaction had the cover shown an average looking mom with not-perky breasts nursing, say, a 4 year old girl instead of a hot mom with perky tits feeding her almost 4 but looks about 6 year old son.


As for extended breastfeeding, it doesn't bother me. In our society it's unusual and breasts are super super sexualized so I understand that a lot of people get a bit freaked out by it, but I don't.



#11 silverdollar

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Posted 16 May 2012 - 10:33 AM

Its such a contrived photo. Children at this age who still breast feed usually lay across their mother's laps while she is sitting down, they don't stand on chairs. It's also usually a once or maybe twice a day thing, often just before going to bed, not frequently throughout the day like a younger infant, so it's less common to see in public.

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#12 mouse

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Posted 16 May 2012 - 10:53 AM

The whole thing feels contrived to me, actually; from the photo to the "controversy". Why does it matter if this (or any other) mother and child want to breastfeed longer than the "norm" (whatever that is)? Why does it matter if a mother feeds her baby formula? The important thing, in my mind, is children are being fed; no one's being neglected or deprived. As others have said, parenting is individual to the parent/child team and while we might ask for advice or validation, and have our own opinions, in general terms, it's none of my business how the day to day gets covered in other homes.
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#13 doodle bug

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Posted 18 May 2012 - 06:27 AM

I didnt read the article, but the cover made me laugh. (photo and title both) I guess it just seems ridiculous that a child of this age would be still nursing, and funny that it implies if I dont let my school aged son mouth my nipples, I am not mom enough. LOL.(i guess if i took it more seriously, I'd find it disturbing) I do find it interesting how it evokes such strong emotions in some people. I guess I have my opinions on those who dont nurse at all, those who nurse past a certain age, and those nurse without a modicom of discretion.... I just usually keep those opinions to myself. I'd love to read the article to find out why everyone is in such an uproar. But who has the time?

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#14 apanda

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Posted 18 May 2012 - 07:40 AM

Here is my take on that article; http://www.ecofamily...mom-enough.html
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