Lost my DS at 17 weeks
Posted 18 June 2011 - 02:04 PM
We buried him yesterday and I beyond sad, devastated, angry, guilty, empty. What is so difficult is that we've been dealing with infertility for 6 years. 3 years ago after 3 IVFs I was able to get pregnant and had my beautiful daughter. Last year we tried again and got pregnant but lost the baby at 11 weeks most likely to a chromosomal abnormality, I ended up having to have two d&Cs (they didn't get everything with the first one). With this pregnancy I was so nervous, so anxious that I would miscarry again. At our 12 week ultrasound I was overjoyed when we found out that our baby was healthy and the chances of chromosomal abnormality was extremely low. I was still nervous and finally at our 16 week ultrasound when I heard his heartbeat I finally began to relax a bit......you just never think that you will be that 1 %.
What scares me more than anything is that now on top of everything I have an incompetent cervix. It's been so hard to get pregnant.....my diagnosis has always been unexplained but it seems that it is an egg quality issue.....I just feel like the odds are stacked against us. We really thought that after this pregnancy our "infertility journey" was over......and we could get on with our lives and being infertile not being part of my identity anymore.
Posted 18 June 2011 - 02:11 PM
Dx: DH: Vasectomy; need IVF/ICSI ME: D.O.R. and many immunological issues. (Initially presented as "normal" but issues were only discovered after IVF attempt #2 and #3 after testing at new clinic)
IVF attempt #1 Nov.2009, Age 37: Long "Lupron" protocol
Dec.2009: Cycle cancelled due to oversuppression
IVF attempt #2, Age 38: April 2010: 3 eggs retrieved, 2 mature, 2 fertilized, ET of 2 embryos BFN
IVF atempt #3 at new clinic: November 2010, Age 38: 5 eggs retrieved, 4 mature, 4 fertilized, ET of 2 blastocysts BFP
Strong beta numbers but babies not measuring on track but one heartbeat is present. Followup u/s reveals no HB's Had D&C--so sad.
Moved to new clinic closer to home + more of a focus on testing for potential immunological factors:
Further testing reveals three mutations related to inherited thrombophilia (2 MTHFR mutations and PA1-1 mutation), positive ANA, elevated NK cells and cytokines and low levels of leukocyte antibodies (LADS), Recommended Immunological treatment: Humira, LIT, IVig and blood thinners if PG
IVF Protocol: Low stim for me/ TESE needed for DH; took Humira in late August and early September; taking DHEA plus Co-Enzyme Q10, vitamins for DH just for good measure! September--two trips to Mexico for LIT treatment, treatments 3 weeks apart
Initial re-testing through Alan Beer Centre after some of the immune treatments reveals only cytokines were lowered, NKs still high and LAD numbers still low. Another LIT in Mexico is recommended. We decide to begin cycle on doctor's recommendation of just doing IVIG.
IVF#4, Age 39 : November 2011: Worst AFC EVER--a whopping 4! Three follicles responded, two eggs were retrieved. Three day transfer of two Grade 1 8 cell embryos: "Fahita" & "Burrito" Stick, stick, stick little ones!
BFP! Beta of 569
Viability u/s at 6 w 2d shows TWO babies measuring on track with heartbeats of 121. Looks like babies might be sharing the same amniotic sac.
Second u/s at 7w 2 d shows ONE baby with hb of 150, measuring 7 w 3 days. No sign of twin. Vanishing twin syndrome?
Third u/s at 8 w 2d shows ONE baby with hb of 170, measuring 8 w 3 days. Looks like a little jellybean!
12 week u/s at 12 w 2 days and baby is measuring 12 w 5 days with a heart beat of 150. Baby mooned us and waved at us with one hand....looked like a "royal" wave to me!
13 week doctor's appointment, HB=155 on doppler
14 week u/s to check cervix, HB=148
16 week u/s to check cervix, HB=138, baby had hiccups!
20 week u/s--everything looks good! HB=130, looks like we're having a GIRL!
IPS results very good!
39 weeks: Our baby girl arrived!!! She is healthy and beautiful! We are so happy!
Posted 18 June 2011 - 02:35 PM
Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties tomorrow of its strength"
~ Corrie Ten Boom
Me 34 DH 32
TTC August 2007
Nov 07 DH diagnosed with azoospermia
IVF # 1 BFP!!
Sept 21 08 Start bcp Nov 12 08 Start Suprefact Nov 24 Start puregon/luveris
Dec 5 08 Microtese for DH, egg retreival for me
Dec 8 08 ET- transferred 2 embies- 8 cell, grade 4
Dec 22 08 Beta 464!! Best Christmas present EVER!!
Dec 30 08 Beta 9782-so relieved!
Jan 18 09 1st ultrasound- its twins!!
Feb 13 09 2nd ultrasound- identical twins?!!?
Mar 6 09 3rd ultrasound- 15 weeks- they're boys!!
Aug 14 09 C-section @ 38 weeks- welcome to the world boys!!
Posted 18 June 2011 - 02:52 PM
Posted 18 June 2011 - 05:20 PM
Charity gives a meal; justice provides a place at the table.
Posted 18 June 2011 - 06:43 PM
TTC - since Nov '04
2005 - TTC Naturally
2006 - IUI w/clomid x 4 - all BFN
Feb - 1st appointment with RE
Lap to remove ovarian cysts
IVF #1 July - Cancelled / only 2 follicles
IVF #2 Sept - ICSI 13 / 2 transfered, 4 frosties BFP m/c 5 wks
FET #1 Jan - AH 2 blasts BFP DD born Oct 2008
God, Thank You for our miracle baby!
FET #2 Feb - AH 2 blasts BFP m/c twins 8wks D&C
Lap to remove ovarian cysts
Histeroscopy to remove polyp in uterus
IVF #3 Oct - ICSI 3 blasts BFN
IVF #4 Jan - ICSI 4 blasts BFN
IVF #5 May - LAST!
ER May 19 - 19 eggs retrieved, 13 fertilized ICSI
ET May 24 - 3 blasts transferred - 5AA, 5AA, 4AB No frosties
HPTs since 5dp5dt -> 7dp5dt all negative
June 1st (8dp5dt / 13dpo)- HPT very faint BFP
HCG 6/2-61.33, 6/4-217, 6/5-328, 6/7-836, 6/10-2,493(22dpo)
U/S 6/20 - HR 116bpm EDD Feb 8, 2012
June 30 - SCH diagnosed - bedrest
July 25 - SCH gone! NT - 0.18cms
Aug 10 - 14 wks - Complete Placenta Previa Dx - bedrest
Aug 19 - 15 wks - No measurable amniotic fluid - bedrest
Sept 16 - DD delivered stillborn at 19w1d. RIP my angel.
Posted 18 June 2011 - 06:50 PM
Posted 18 June 2011 - 07:16 PM
Me 39 - slightly elevated C4, great AMH
DH - 42 - low sperm count (9 - 48 million/ml), poor motility, DNA Frag 21% (good, but not great)TTC since Sept 2008
5 IUIs - Oct 2009 to Jun 2010 - BFN
IVF #1 - ET July 4, 2010EDD - March 25, 2011 Baby boy born March 7, 2011
FET #1 - ET Dec 21, 2012 - BFN
FET #2 - ET Jan 22, 2013 - BFN, that was the last sno-baby
IVF #2 - BFN
FET #3 - June 27, 2013 - BFN
FET #4 - Aug 29, 2013 - BFN
IVF #3 - ET Oct 28, 2013 - POAS 10dp3dt BFP - Chemical Pregnancy :-(
Posted 18 June 2011 - 08:07 PM
Life simply is not fair. I hope the deep pain fades quickly (though you will always carry a place in your heart for your baby boy that will always ache) and you begin to start feeling normal again.
I also know how hard it is to fight the odds that seem to be always stacked against you after such a loss. The only 'good' thing that will come out of your loss is that they can manage Incompetent Cervix. While it will of course be a long road to having another shot and an even longer road during pregnancy (which yes, will be higher risk because a cerclage does represent a higher risk) I hope there is some comfort to you that there is a possible solution with your IC and that many women do find success following a loss like yours.
Certainly if you ever need someone to talk to you're always welcome to PM me. While my loss is 3.5 years ago, there's no denying that the pain stays with you. Its something that you will simply never fully get over (though I hope one day you find as much beauty in your son's short life that we do with our twin angels).
In addition to our previous losses, we're also facing a subsequent pg that is currently high risk and our baby has a birth defect that has given her a 70-80% survival rate (only if we can overcome the high risk issues that threaten an early delivery). Thus, i'm also learning how to deal with the stress of another loss in addition to a high risk pregnancy (something that you will be facing when you travel this road again).
I know you addressed a number of things related to your loss and your unknown future (which is why I shared as much as I did) but please take the time you need now to take care of yourself...there will be enough time in the future to worry about the hurdles that are in your future.
Many, many hugs to you.
IVF #1 (Nov/Dec 2006)- BFN (IF Dx #2: Poor Responder & poor egg quality)
IVF #2 (May 2007) - Lost twin boys at 24w
IVF #3 (March/Apr 2008) - m/c @ 10w
IVF #4 (Nov 2008) - Welcomed DD in Aug 2009
IVF#5 (Nov 2010) - EDD: Aug 13, 2011
Its a Girl!! Diagnosed with CDH @ 19w2d
Posted 18 June 2011 - 10:19 PM
IUI #1 June 2009 - BFN
IUI #2 October 2009 - BFN
IUI #3 December 2009 - BFN
IVF #1 - Retrieval - Nov 24th, 14 eggs retrieved, 12 fertilized
IVF #1 - 3 day Transfer - Nov 27th,transfered 2 embryos
1st Beta - December 9, 2010, 13dp3dt, BFP!!!! 522!!!!
2nd Beta - December 11, 2010, 15dp3dt, 1276!!
1st u/s - 6 weeks - Dec 24, OMG 2 heartbeats! Baby A, 5w6d, Baby B, 5w4d
2nd u/s - 8 weeks - Jan 6th, measuring 8w1d, Baby A,1.7cm, Baby B,1.5cm
3rd u/s - 10 weeks - Jan 21st, measuring 10w3days, heartbeats 171!!!!
12 weeks - Feb 4th - heard the heartbeats via doppler, 161 and 159
4th u/s - 13 weeks - Feb 9th, NT scan normal! AWESOME!
5th u/s - 19 weeks - March 24th, IT'S A GIRL AND A BOY!!!!!!!
6th u/s - 23 weeks - April 19th, Girl is 1 lb 6oz, Boy is 1 lb 5oz!
7th u/s - 27 weeks - May 17th, Girl is 2 lb 6.5oz and Boy is 2 lb 11oz!
8th u/s - 29 weeks - May 31st, quick BPP u/s, everything looks good!
9th u/s - 31 weeks - June 14th, Girl is 3 lb 11oz, Boy is 4 lb 10oz, holy crap!!!!!
10th u/s - 33 weeks - June 28th, quick BPP u/s, both babies scored 8/8!!!!
33.5 weeks - June 30th, admitted to L&D for 48 hours of monitoring, having contractions, cervix 1.5-2cm dilated. Contractions not developing into any pattern.
11th u/s - 35 weeks - July 12th - Girl is 5 lb 6oz and Boy is 6 lb 2oz, getting up there!!!!!
July 13th - water broke at 6pm!
July 14th - Ava Paige arrived at 5:59am and Liam Patrick arrived at 6:26am. Mommy is sooo in love <3
Posted 19 June 2011 - 12:12 AM
Posted 19 June 2011 - 08:12 AM
TTC #1: starting in Feb 2005 "unexplained" (immune issues, elevated NK cells, 2 heterozygous MTHFR and 2 heterozygous thrombophilias - Factor XIII and PAI-1 mutations)
me-42, DH-42, married since 1995!
Tried: Naturopath, Chinese herbs, Acupuncture, Homeopathy
4 un-medicated IUI's BFN
IVF # 1 18 eggs retrieved, 16 mature, 8 out of 16 fertilized (1/2 ICSI, half IVF), 5 made it to day 5 blast, transferred two, froze 3
first ever BFP m/c
FET #1 medicated, transferred two, started spotting 2 days later, full blown AF 5 days later (decided I don't react well to Estrace, will do natural frozen next time) BFN
FET #2 natural (but still with progesterone (crinone) support, transferred last blast from IVF #1 BFN
IVF #2 16 eggs retrieved, decided not to do ICSI this time since cycle #1 showed eggs could fertilize on their own, only 3 fertilized! None made it to blast for transfer no transfer! Disaster!
IVF #3 decided to add some repronex to the stims and do all ICSI. 18 eggs, 17 mature and 15 fertilized, 8 made it to day 5 blast. Transferred two blasts, froze 6 BFN
FET#3 added 3 HCG booster shots and doubled up on the crinone to prevent me from spotting early (as I often do), transferred 2 blasts, no spotting but a BFN anyway
FET #4- added ovidral just before my natural ovulation so they could pin point it more accurately with the 36 hour window, HCG shots again, plus double crinone BFN
January 2009 Consult with new RE in Markham - he finds a small septum, resected April 29, 09 - tells me to now try my last two frozen blasts
FET #5 - ET scheduled for June 15 (natural cycle with trigger, HCG booster and crinone) - BFN
On to Plan B- Switch clinic to Markham for
#4 Fresh IVF with IVIg, exploring immune testing - start BCP Sept 20. ER around week of Oct. 25
9 eggs retrieved, 1 immature, 1 fractured. 7 to work with. 4 out of 7 fertilized (Day 3: 1 8 cell grade 1, 2 8 cell grade 2 and 1 morula). Day 5 transferred 1 great blast and 1 morula (1 morula and 1 10 cell did not make it to freezing).
Beta Nov. 11 - BFP! (550) I am in shock!
Issues with spotting, Nov 20, second beta 11,000 and early ultrasound: saw gestational sac and yolk sac in the right place but concern about a cyst or possible ectopic near my ovary as well, 4 more ultrasounds over a 10 day period, last ultrasound on Dec. 2 'cyst' has not grown and baby measuring on target at 7wks, 1day with a heart beat of 153bpm.
Now taking Lovenox due to 2 heterozygous thrombophilias
Ultrasound on Dec. 18 (9 weeks, 5 days) baby on track, hb 167
Ultrasound on Dec. 22 due to extra heavy spotting, baby still measuring on track, hb 167 and dancing
Ultrasound on Jan. 8 (12 weeks, 5 days) baby on track, hb 160, baby doing crunches!
18 week anatomy scan scheduled for Feb. 16 - they lost my blood work for the second part of the IPS so no results for that today (they took blood again) but the 18 week scan went great, baby looked awesome and even gave us a little wave in between sucking her thumb and inspecting her toes. Yes, I said "her" - it's a little girl!
20 week ultrasound at Mt. Sinai and they agree, so far so good.
IPS results are in and they are excellent!
EDD: July 19, 2010
Baby girl arrived at 39 weeks, 2 days! July 14, 2010 3:12 am, weighing 7 pounds even.
May 2013 - The IVF Journey continues...one last try to see if a sibling is in the cards...
Did LIT, IVIg, Lovenox and low dose aspirin. 5 eggs retrieved, 1 immature, 1 fractured, 3 to work with, 2 fertilized with ICSI.
June 5, day 3 transfer of 2 8 cell grade 2 embryos.BFN
April 2014, one very last try - natural IVF with intralipids this time, 2! dominant follicles, 2 mature eggs retrieved, both fertilize with ICSI, day 3 transfer scheduled for April 13, transferred 1 8-cell grade one and 1 6-cell grade one (also using Lovenox and low dose ASA) -BFN, we are really done, not sure if it is now my immune system, or old eggs now too.
Posted 19 June 2011 - 09:28 AM
Love and hugs,
Posted 20 June 2011 - 11:48 AM
February 26 8:43 am Baby vstad(Declan) was born
Posted 20 June 2011 - 09:01 PM
3 natural m/c dec 99, mar 01,oct 07
clomid x1 -ohss
lap x 1 apr/05-endomet left tube blocked,half of left ovary resected
1st ivf cycle nov/05 developed mild ohss again DEC 2ND/05 BFP u/s small sac slow heart beat small fetus misscariage at 9 weeks 1 day
fet may 06 -cancelled due to very rare -sub acute viral thyroiditis
fet oct 20-bfp ,beta 700 on nov 1 ,1700 on nov 3,3900 on nov 5 u/s 2 small sacs ,slow heart beat small fetuses m/c nov 23/06 ,day of our 9th wedding annivrsay
1 blast still frozen
IVF#2 july 07 7 BLASTS FROZEN 2 normal 2 have trisomies 3 not tested less than 6 cell on day 3 fet oct 25/07,transferred 2 instead of one ...oops
1st beta nov 2 bfp (again) 23,2nd beta 83 ,3rd beta 371 u/s nov 21 hb 118 bpm
beautiful baby boy Nayal born via planned c-section on july 3rd 2008 @ 12:35 pm
Posted 20 June 2011 - 09:36 PM
May 2006 Natural pg - 1st M/C at 11 wks
Aug 2006 Natural pg - 2nd M/C at 8 wks
Dec 2006 Natural pg - DD born Sept 2007!!!
TTC #2 since Feb. 2009
IUI #1 May 2010 - BFN
IUI #2 June 2010 - BFN
IUI #3 Sept 2010 - BFN
IUI #4 Oct 2010 - BFN
IVF #1 - Long Protocol
Puregon 225iu, ER Feb. 23rd (8 total, 5 fert)
ET Feb. 26th (2x8cell grade 3), no frosties :-(
1st Beta Mar. 11th - 243!!!!
2nd Beta Mar. 14th - 667 :-)
1st u/s Mar. 28th - singleton measuring 6w5d and HB 118...Yippi!
2nd u/s Apr. 12th - no HB...3rd M/C at 9w2d :-(((
IVF #2 - Antagonist protocol
Day 3 u/s showed 14-15 follies
CD 3-6 2x2mg Estrogen daily, CD 6 start 100iu Puregon/75iu Repronex
ER - Aug. 31st, 2011 (12 eggs/10 mature, 9 fert)
ET - Sept. 4th, 2011 (sET grade 2 blast), no frosties :-(
Sept. 10 6dp5dt +HPT :-)))!
Sept. 15 beta = 9 :-(( Chemical Pg
IVF #3 - Estrogen Priming Antagonist Protocol - Dec. 2011
Estrace, 225 ui Gonal-F/75 ui Repronex
ER - Dec. 29th, 2011 (12 eggs/11 mature, 6 fert)
ET - Jan. 1st, 2012 (two 8 cells, grade 1), 2 frosties :-))
Jan. 8th 7dp3dt +HPT...Please let this be the one!!!
Jan. 13th 12dp3dt Beta 642, 15dp3dt Beta 3112
Feb. 3rd 7w1d u/s - Twins!! HBs 143 + 144
Mar. 9th NT scan (12w1d) - still 2 babies developing perfectly :-))
Our girls were born Sept.7th, 2012 (38 wks 1 day) weighing in at 6 lbs and 6 lbs 12 ounces!!<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lbdf.lilypie....com/z9eqm4.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Pregnancy tickers" /></a>
Posted 21 June 2011 - 10:35 AM
TTC: started at age 29. MF and Endometriosis
IVF #1: BFP! Twins!
FET #1: BFP but M/C at 6.5 weeks
FET #2: BFN
IVF #2: ER: 15 retrieved, 12 mature and 11 fertilized/ ET: 1 beautiful 1AB blast and 2 grade 3 morulas. Nothing to freeze.
BFP!! It's twins again!
My regular blog (Children mentioned)
Posted 22 June 2011 - 06:36 AM
married: for 6 years togther for 13
clinic :mcgill reproductive center in montreal
told i have severe PCOS
husband is great
JUNE 07 clomid 50mg did not respond to meds
JULY 07 clomid 100mg did not respond to meds
AUG 07 doing IVM for a study
SEPT 1, 07. 33 eggs collected, 27 matured and frozen
SEPT 12, 07. 3 were put in. a 4cell and two 3cell
SEPT 14, 07 BFN from IVM
DEC 7, 2007 D&C went well
MARCH 10, 08 IVM, E/R 12 mature eggs 30 inmature eggs total 42 eggs
MARCH 13, 08 E/T tranfered 3, Two 8 cell, and One 7 cell embryo's.
MARCH 26, 08 beta .08 BFN
SEPT 9 FET PUT IN 4, a 8cell,a 7cell, two 6cell
SEPT 23 beta 8.3 BFN
have 3 frozen
total of 75 eggs collected in 2 E/R
total of 10 embryos put in in 3 E/T.
moving to IVF
giving to science
and 23 oocytes
starting fresh with IVF!
April 9, 2011 took a HPT and got a BFP!!!
April 13, 2011 found out that i'm 8 weeks and 2 days pg!
It's a Boy!!!!!
I am too postive
to be doubtful
to be fearful
and to determined
to be defeated
Posted 18 July 2011 - 08:32 AM
Anyway...I am sending lots and lots of hugs your way......
Me 38 & DH 40 TTC since July 2008
March 2009: m/c
July 2009: m/c
April 2010: BFP - Sadly Baby diagnosed with Cystic Hygoma and Trisomy 21. D&E at 16 weeks
Oct 2010: m/c due to Trisomy #3
March 2011: m/c
IVF#1 - September 2011 with PGD on my eggs (Chemical)
March 2012 - Septum Surgery for uterine septum & immune testing with Allan Beer & treatments
IVF#2 - July 2012 (BFN)
December 2012 - Surgery to remove uterine adhesions from previous D&C
IVF#3 - February 2013 (Chemical) - 5 blast frosties
April 2013 - Natural BFP ! Perfect Baby boy born January 2014 !
February 2015 - FET (BFN)
May 2015 IUI#1 (BFN)
August 2015 IUI#2 - BFP !!!