[crazylady]

I am not sure I am putting this in the correct area as I am new here, but I was hoping I might find someone that has been in a similar situation and might offer some advice, I appolgize in advance that it might be a bit run on.

I will give you some background ( i apologize that its long)
in Sept 1999 dh and I began TTC, and after about 10 months were sent to a gyno for testing, discovered I have PCOS (but respond well to medications) but that dh had low/zero sperm count. We of course freaked out and were referred to the fertility clinic. They of course started talking about donor sperm. Dh wasnt sure he was ok with that, and honestly I wasnt sure either. While we decided to take some time to figure it out, DH got testicular cancer, TWICE. It kind of was a slap in the face because in the back of my mind I was always thinking, well they said his count is low, but there is always a miracle baby right?
Well not after the cancer. So we knew we had to relook at DI. And finally agreed. We started the tests and discovered that my left tube is blocked... and our first DI insemination I had ovulated on the left but was assured that it didnt matter (to some degree I still dont understand that) unsuccessful though, 2nd try, 3rd try, 4th try, 5th try, all no good!
My mom told us to look into switching to IVF and that she would help with the cost if need be. So when we switched to IVF, low and behold BOTH my tubes are blocked.... they dont even infestigate why, no answers to my questions of "probably why none of the inseminations worked right?" Honestly the people at the clinic make me feel completely small, belittled and unwelcome. (I have recently spoken to many other women who feel the same way) but with both tubes blocked IVF is gov't funded, we just had to pay for the donor sperm and the meds...
had 1st egg retrieval a year ago, I think we got 22 eggs, only 3 fertilized, transferred all three (only one was considered good quality) and again no success, after the transfer my period came over a week early. I asked the clinic about it... they are zero help! So we do a second egg retreival, I believe we got 12, and while I am on the table in major pain (my ovaries kept rolling away when they tried to suction out the eggs, major pain) the dr says, oh just realized you used the same donor and the sperm were not attracted to your eggs you need to do ICIS(is that the right anagram?) so we get 8 that fertilize and do well, and transfer two, this was last November... again no go!
Dh and I decided to take some time off, I focused on getting healthier and lose weight and to refocus... again after the embryo transfer my period came a week early and the clinic would offer no support or suggestions as to why. I did however receive in the mail a package which is a bunch of prescriptions (one med never heard of!) and the forms to sign for permission for FET. I couldnt believe they just mailed out the stuff, no explanations, no support NOTHING!! So we requested an appt with the dr to have some questions answered. waited a month to see her, get there, and we dont even see her, but a resident who says to us and I quote "your file is too big, it would take me too long to read it and learn your case, so I didnt" I was in shock!! totally threw me for a loop. I asked about the new meds, he talked all above our heads, talked down to us... I asked about what I was doing in terms of weight loss, would it help, etc etc, he just said "ya exercise is always good" completely forgot to ask about my period always coming early after transfers. I told him that we didnt want three embroys transfered from thaw, just 2 he said that was fine, but when he changed the form to sign, he then handed it back to me, didnt keep it on file!
My husband and I left feeling just as lost as before we went in... so I requested he give me some birth control like my last IVF cycles as I spot a lot and its hard to determine a day one when you spot all the time, again told me my file was too big to find what I was on previously so he handed me some samples... those pills made me sick, didnt stop the spotting and made me a huge mess... when I called to ask for a prescription for what I was on previously, he didnt even write it in my chart that he had given me any... and my nurse was rude about why I was on them... but thankfully she got the prescription called in for me.
After all that back story, this is where I am now....
So I took my last pill Sun night, so hopefully my period will start soon and I have ZERO clue what is happening.. I am on Synarel and estrace, and prometrium, I was sent this paper that is a bunch of dates and spaces and completely confusing on how it all works, not a single person has explained anything.... I feel like the clinic doesnt even care how we are feeling, after so many fails we are just bringing their average down and wasting their time... this is how we feel every single time we walk in the door.... so I dont know what to do... I hate going into a third cycle not knowing what is going on but I dont want to wait another month or two to see the dr again, only to not see her. I hope when I call in my day one I can get more answers, but they are horrible for not telling you anything ahead of where you are at! I dont even know how many weeks from cycle day 1 it will be until FET, so I can have an idea about my work and needing the day off etc, I feel like I am completely in the dark!!

[kerrilyn]

Wow you have been through so much. If it were me, I would be marching out to another clinic to get a 2nd opinion. The way you are being treated is absolutely 100% unacceptable. YOUR RE should be reviewing every failed cycle with you and discussing with you what your next steps will be, not just mailing you a bunch of paperwork. I know it would delay you getting started but do you really have the confidence in them at this point to continue? It is better to go into a cycle with confidence in both your protocol and your clinic and with complete understanding about what you are doing and why. If that's not an option I would call the clinic and try to get an emergancy appointment with YOUR RE ASAP. I'm sorry for all you have been through and all you are going through, I hope things get better.

KL

[jgeddes]

wow...I'm sorry that this has been your experience. I wouldn't "waste" your last funded cycle with a clinic that you're not comfortable with. I'm glad you found this site, if nothing else, it's a place for you to vent your frustrations and talk with people who understand.

[Lilygirl2727]

My advice....go in there and talk to the head of the clinic and make your feelings known. If you tell them everything you just told us and they aren't completely horrified by how their staff has acted....then find a new clinic ASAP.

[crazylady]

I found some paperwork and did my own research, turns out the resident I met with misinformed me (clearly he had zero idea what he was talking about) and so my FET wont be until the end of July/Early Aug instead of this month as we had told him was the plan.... grr! I looked into maybe transferring clinics, but they all require referrals from your dr... I am assuming family dr? it takes 2 months to get in to see mine, and by then I will at least be almost ready for transfer... sigh

[gibasgirl]

Hang in there!

It's frustrating. Just "big picture" it, and consider this: do you want to cycle again at a clinic that is not a good fit for you or go to one that is better suited to your needs?

But I guess the benefit is, you may be cycling at around the same time at the new clinic, but just getting better service. Hopefully better results too.

Maybe this will help you get a take-home baby. Jusy isn't too far away either. (Is it just me or is this year on fast forward?)

Good luck with the decision-making,

Zan

[123...]

hey,
LHsc was my clinic too. I loved the nurses there they were great nothing but good things to say about them. but i did find that the Dr's did not really investigate the problems, i spent tons and tons of money there as our problem is male factor and i did 3IVF/ICSI cycles and not once after BFN did they have any explanations or new testing or even try new things or meds. Always the same protocol with the same results.. The nurses are great and your case nurse should explain to you everything you have to do and what will be going on. Good Luck

[baby2be]

I know that you just want to do the cycle, as I know I did and that always made feel better. Like I was trying to make it happen and not just sitting around doing nothing. If it was me I would look for another clinic. These people either don't care or are not capable of doing their job. My RE was so kind to me that he offered a referral letter and even copied all my file for a doctor I was getting a 2nd opinion from. If you cycle a couple of months later it won't be that much different, but it could make a lot of difference on you getting pregnant.

Best of luck,
Dana

[dove]

This doesn't sound like a very good clinic for communication. You should understand why they are doing things and when. you can go into any walk in clinic and get a referral, that's what I did and they sent it out the next day. Best of luck to you.

[CalgaryJB]

I would definitely get a second opinion. If your gut tells you something is off, you should listen to it!