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Over 40 and pregnant or trying to be


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#4226 juice

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Posted 10 December 2014 - 11:07 PM

Hi Ladies...I've been off for a while, trying to re-group and make some tough decisions.  Alleycat, your message inspired me to send out a quick update.

 

We have decided to move forward with DE.  We were going to try going abroad to Greece (clinic there was SO helpful...), but my husband works overseas and I didn't want to have to schedule chunks of time off - it just seemed very complicated.  So, I got a referral to Create and met with a doctor there.  We have also checked a few donor clinics out and have decided to move forward with Little Miracles.  After searching and searching, we think we have found a donor.  She doesn't look quite as much like me as I would have hoped - but there is some resemblance and she is healthy, which is most important at this stage, I think (and hope!).  My doctor believes in doing exclusive DE so that we can give ourselves the best possible chance - we've had too much heartache already and lost so much financially...it's our very last chance to try.  So, that is how we have come to accept an exclusive cycle. 

 

I'm still nervous about what people will say if this works - pregnant at my age!  Geez.  But, I have also been noticing A LOT of older moms around and can only assume that there are a lot more women in our position these days for whatever reason.

 

Anyway, we estimate that the total cost will be around $20K - $22K.  I don't know...maybe a bit less, I hope.  I hate that it cost this much - but I also feel much more comfortable doing this here, where I live...although Sami's trip to Mexico certainly does sound lovely!!!!

Good luck Sweets!! It's a very tough decision emotionally and financially. We are lucky to have family that can help us out but it's still hard. Thanks for sharing, and you can count on us for support.


  • Sweets70 and Babybemine like this

me - 45.5, husband - 43.5

1 natural pregnancy but m/c in June 2011

7 failed IUIs, 3 medicated and 4 non-medicated, all BFN

I was a poor responder to the meds, only produced 1 viable egg so I'm not a candidate for IVF

Suffering  deeply, watching all my friends get pregnant and raise kids.

No one in my immediate circle of friends and family who has gone through this so forums are amazingly helpful.

 

Dec 2013 - have chosen a donor with San Diego Fertility Center and have begun the process. If all goes well we'll get me preggo in April 2014. IF all goes well... 

 

It DIDN'T go well - our donor failed her genetic testing. It took MORE exhausting searches 24/7 to find another we liked, and finally she's passed and good to go. IF all goes well we'll go down to SDFC mid-June 2014 for the egg transfer and get me pregnant..if all goes well...if... if... if... so many letdowns cannot allow me to be hopeful, just wait and see...

 

June 2014 Went to SDFC, everything went smoothly. Well, kind of...family stuff... but transfer went well

 

July 16 2014 did blood test...BFP th_abfp.gif Wow. First time, feeling a lot emotions and crying uncontrollably for last 48 hours.

 

Hoping it sticks. That's all for now.

 

Aug 11 first u/s - TWINS. omg....good size, good heartbeat. I'm terrified.

 

 


#4227 alleycat73

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Posted 06 January 2015 - 01:29 PM

Sweets - glad my message gave you some inspiration. Just to update I had my follow up with my FS yesterday and she takes a case by case approach. So just when I had decided to kind of go with using DE she recommended trying for a third IvF attempt because I produce good quality eggs just not many......I really only have enough money to do one last try....I am 41.5.....I am doing a AMH test which will help me determine my choice I guess. Any support on how to make this decision would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks ladies... All of your stories are inspirational. Stay strong and be kind to yourselves.
  • mouse likes this

#4228 Sweets70

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Posted 12 January 2015 - 01:35 PM

Hi Alleycat,

 

So...what did you decide to do?  I continually think about doing "one more" try with OE.  But, then reality hits and I think about how much money I have already spent and remind myself of how frickin' old we are to be trying to have a child.  I want to reduce my risk of it not working by as much as possible.  Even my doctor at Create looked at my files and asked me if I wanted to try again - unlike you, I have a good supply of eggs, but I just don't believe that they are good enough to result in a viable pregnancy.  I sure wish that I had gone to her in the first place - I feel like she might have made a difference.  But now, with funds dwindling and time running out, I am mainly thinking about the joy of having a wee one in our lives - regardless of how he/she comes to us.

 

Good luck with whatever your decision is.  There is a great support group under donor egg forums - if you go that way.


me 44, df (dear fiance) 44
Issue: age and vasectomy


February 2014 - IVF #1

Feb. 12: 11 eggs retrieved

Feb. 17: only 2 matured on day of transfer (transferred both), 1 matured on day 6 (snowbaby)

Mar. 03: Beta 90, Mar. 05: Beta 151, Mar. 07: Beta 298, Mar. 12: Beta 896, u/s showed nothing

Mar. 22: miscarried cry.gif

 

May 2014 - FET

May 16: Transfered 1 beautiful 6d frozen pea...PUPO! eusa_pray.gif

May 27: HPT = BFN. 

 

June 2014 - IVF #2 (last try)

June 6: start daily injections, Gonal F 187.5iu, Luveris 150iu and thyroid meds 50mcg

June 18: 11 eggs retrieved

June 22: only 3 mature on retrieval day, transferred 1 morula + 2 other multinulceated

July 2: Beta 0

 


#4229 alleycat73

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Posted 13 January 2015 - 10:04 AM

Hi Alleycat,
 
So...what did you decide to do?  I continually think about doing "one more" try with OE.  But, then reality hits and I think about how much money I have already spent and remind myself of how frickin' old we are to be trying to have a child.  I want to reduce my risk of it not working by as much as possible.  Even my doctor at Create looked at my files and asked me if I wanted to try again - unlike you, I have a good supply of eggs, but I just don't believe that they are good enough to result in a viable pregnancy.  I sure wish that I had gone to her in the first place - I feel like she might have made a difference.  But now, with funds dwindling and time running out, I am mainly thinking about the joy of having a wee one in our lives - regardless of how he/she comes to us.
 
Good luck with whatever your decision is.  There is a great support group under donor egg forums - if you go that way.



#4230 alleycat73

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Posted 13 January 2015 - 10:09 AM

Hello Sweets,
We do find out the results of the blood test for another two weeks. I am trying to take it one step at a time. My FS recommends three attempts before going to DE but $$ I only have one. Have you decided Sweets on what to do?

#4231 Sweets70

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Posted 13 January 2015 - 02:00 PM

Hello Sweets,
We do find out the results of the blood test for another two weeks. I am trying to take it one step at a time. My FS recommends three attempts before going to DE but $$ I only have one. Have you decided Sweets on what to do?

One step at a time is good.  We are moving forward with DE.  Donor was selected before x-mas, she has her screening this month (new donor).  DF and I have our counseling appt. tomorrow and I already had my full round of tests done (again!!!) just after x-mas.  So, once we get donor's results in and she is cleared to go ahead, we start our cycle.  I'm crossing my fingers for February transfer - I want a November baby!


me 44, df (dear fiance) 44
Issue: age and vasectomy


February 2014 - IVF #1

Feb. 12: 11 eggs retrieved

Feb. 17: only 2 matured on day of transfer (transferred both), 1 matured on day 6 (snowbaby)

Mar. 03: Beta 90, Mar. 05: Beta 151, Mar. 07: Beta 298, Mar. 12: Beta 896, u/s showed nothing

Mar. 22: miscarried cry.gif

 

May 2014 - FET

May 16: Transfered 1 beautiful 6d frozen pea...PUPO! eusa_pray.gif

May 27: HPT = BFN. 

 

June 2014 - IVF #2 (last try)

June 6: start daily injections, Gonal F 187.5iu, Luveris 150iu and thyroid meds 50mcg

June 18: 11 eggs retrieved

June 22: only 3 mature on retrieval day, transferred 1 morula + 2 other multinulceated

July 2: Beta 0

 


#4232 alleycat73

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Posted 17 January 2015 - 05:55 PM

Hi Sweets, that is very exciting news.... I can't wait to hear about your journey. February is just around the corner. I should find out my results by next Wednesday so not much to think about til then.

#4233 Highest hopes

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Posted Yesterday, 07:11 PM

Hello all, I've been out of the loop here so doing a bit of catchup. 

North, thanks for your comments back in Sept :)

 

Hi Gaby, Sami & NYC & Pam, congrats on your BFPs!!!  Thrilled for you :)

 

Hi Juice, I saw in your signature that a previous donor failed genetic testing. Do you mind me asking what kind of genetic testing they give the donor?

 

Hi Newtothis, for your comment about ovaries not being where they should have been... I had this too and or me it turned out to be endometriosis and my ovaries were adhered I believe to the pelvic wall behind the uterus... Not saying that's what you have but just fyi. Did you decide if you will do CCS?  I'm trying to decide if we should do it.

 

Now for a comment about something upsetting...

Ths is tragic.

http://www.medicalda...ng-birth-319854

 

Not sure if there is enough information here to know if the cause of the bowel obstruction was due to:

  • her age
  • the fact that she had multiples
  • c-section
  • a combination of the above
  • none of the above, or other (i.e. fibroids, adhesions, endometriosis, etc.)

I'm confused as to why her age would have been a factor or whether they are just using that fact to make headlines?

Any thoughts - please share.  I also posted this in the News thread but it is pending moderation, plus I wanted to see specifically what the 40+ crowd thought.


We are 40+ and TTC: 4 yrs.
Dx: DOR, Endometriosis

IUI & IVFx2 = BFN

Next steps: Another surgery for endo?, Immune testing?, Decide on embryo testing

Froze my eggs when I was 37 & plan to use them after the above is complete.

 

Facebook: facebook.com/aquablueglow

Follow me: @aquablueglow

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Saskatoon Infertility Support Group: saskatoon.infertility.support@live.ca

SK Pelvic Pain & Endometriosis Warriors Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/saskendosisters


#4234 mouse

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Posted Yesterday, 07:22 PM

Yes, very sad. From what I read yesterday, my understanding is that bowel obstruction is a fairly common complication with a c-section.  I too wondered about why the headline referenced her age when it could have happened to anyone, although I suppose it might be that her age was an additional risk factor or somehow reduced her ability to survive one.  Personally I think that the age factor was played more as a headline grabber.  I actually knew a 27 year old who died suddenly (about 36 hours) after giving birth (by c-section) to twins, she didn't make the headlines.


  • sharlene and Yearning like this

me 49, he 50 31 years together!
History: ectopic; late miscarriage
Many child 'free' years
Success on 2nd IVF (Halleujah! and happy 44th birthday to me!)
SHE'S HERE! SHE'S HERE!Born 05/11/2010 8:25pm. 5 lbs 13 ozs of absolute sunshine!
Tea parties, mud pies, and glitter!
Exploring options for IVF#3 (OE).
Test results appear promising and we are greenlighted.
4 mature eggs retrieved 04/06/14. All fertilized normally and transferred on 04/09/14.
Beta low but positive 04/17/14. Second and third betas remained low. Sono to see what's going on 04/24.
Waiting game is over; another ectopic.

The plural of anecdote is not data.


#4235 Highest hopes

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Posted Yesterday, 10:40 PM

Good points Mouse.
I'm sorry about the woman you knew who died, how awful.
Did they know what the cause was specifically?

We are 40+ and TTC: 4 yrs.
Dx: DOR, Endometriosis

IUI & IVFx2 = BFN

Next steps: Another surgery for endo?, Immune testing?, Decide on embryo testing

Froze my eggs when I was 37 & plan to use them after the above is complete.

 

Facebook: facebook.com/aquablueglow

Follow me: @aquablueglow

Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/aquablueglow

Saskatoon Infertility Support Group: saskatoon.infertility.support@live.ca

SK Pelvic Pain & Endometriosis Warriors Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/saskendosisters


#4236 sharlene

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Posted Today, 01:03 AM

Tragic for sure. Probably a combination of things caused the bowel obstruction. The fact is that having the obstruction shouldn't kill you. It is treatable. But it does have to be diagnosed. I wonder, when it became obstructed, as they wouldn't let me leave the hospital, after my c-section, without moving my bowels. Of course it could have happened after, but when. I left the hospital after 4 days - she was dead in 7 - I just don't know. Terrible.

#4237 Highest hopes

Highest hopes
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Posted Today, 01:54 AM

This article says "The new mom stayed in the hospital for four days after the procedure because the doctors wanted her to have a bowel movement before she went home. She produced a liquid bowel movement that the hospital deemed enough to discharge her."

http://www.nydailyne...ticle-1.2094085

It sounds like that was the mistake right there.
Not sure how they decide if it's solid enough, but I am going to remember this if I'm ever in that situation after any surgery.

Do you think age or multiples could be connected to an obstruction occurring in the first place? Or a c-section?

We are 40+ and TTC: 4 yrs.
Dx: DOR, Endometriosis

IUI & IVFx2 = BFN

Next steps: Another surgery for endo?, Immune testing?, Decide on embryo testing

Froze my eggs when I was 37 & plan to use them after the above is complete.

 

Facebook: facebook.com/aquablueglow

Follow me: @aquablueglow

Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/aquablueglow

Saskatoon Infertility Support Group: saskatoon.infertility.support@live.ca

SK Pelvic Pain & Endometriosis Warriors Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/saskendosisters


#4238 mouse

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Posted Today, 08:58 AM

Bowel obstructions are a fairly common complication for any abdominal surgery as I understand it. Being pregnant with twins and older, likely increased the chances of having a C-section, so in that regard her age and the fact that it was multiples may have influenced the outcome.  It is, as others have noted, a treatable condition (and one they monitor for) so why she died still seems to have some unanswered questions.  

 

No definitive reason was ever found for my friend's death as far as I ever heard.  She was overweight and had diabetes (long standing but well controlled; not gestational) but those factors were ruled out as were a clot and heart attack. 


me 49, he 50 31 years together!
History: ectopic; late miscarriage
Many child 'free' years
Success on 2nd IVF (Halleujah! and happy 44th birthday to me!)
SHE'S HERE! SHE'S HERE!Born 05/11/2010 8:25pm. 5 lbs 13 ozs of absolute sunshine!
Tea parties, mud pies, and glitter!
Exploring options for IVF#3 (OE).
Test results appear promising and we are greenlighted.
4 mature eggs retrieved 04/06/14. All fertilized normally and transferred on 04/09/14.
Beta low but positive 04/17/14. Second and third betas remained low. Sono to see what's going on 04/24.
Waiting game is over; another ectopic.

The plural of anecdote is not data.