[hotmamaoftwins]

Browneyedgirl, on 14 April 2010 - 06:57 PM, said:

The other day a census lady came ot the door. When she learned we have twins, she said "poor mom!" Excuse me? I'm blessed!! I would never want to have the twins seperately, I love them both so much and that they're here at the same time is so much fun!!!!

amen sister! What a stupid ignorant lady!

[hoping_it_will]

Browneyedgirl, on 14 April 2010 - 06:57 PM, said:

The other day a census lady came ot the door. When she learned we have twins, she said "poor mom!" Excuse me? I'm blessed!! I would never want to have the twins seperately, I love them both so much and that they're here at the same time is so much fun!!!!

Here Here!!!

Ope they really are a hoot now...once you get passed the first couple of months, they are SUCH a joy and a wonderful blessing indeed. The first couple of months definetly had some trying times, but those passed quick and were few and far between. DH and I were just saying today, how lucky and blessed we are to have twins. I suppose it is not for the faint of heart, but it is for us

[Browneyedgirl]

I also get really tired of hearing "DOuble trouble!" when people see us coming. I always say "Try twice as nice!" Smile an all knowing (as in "You sir or ma'am are ignorant and stupid" kind of smile) and walk away. The other day I had someone say "Oh my god, look what's coming! Twins." in a really hurtful way. I should have said "Good thing they're MY BABIES and not yours then!" lol.

[hoping_it_will]

LMAO...I think we have all got off the original topic due Ope's response...LOLOL We need to have a seperate thread in the Parent Playroom, for M.O.M venting b/c of silly coments from strangers! I'll join!

[hotmamaoftwins]

hoping_it_will, on 14 April 2010 - 08:23 PM, said:

LMAO...I think we have all got off the original topic due Ope's response...LOLOL We need to have a seperate thread in the Parent Playroom, for M.O.M venting b/c of silly coments from strangers! I'll join!

Great idea HIW! I will start the thread and put it in the PG with multiples as I think the "Are they Natural" question is geared more towards the mom of multiples.

[Rufus]

We are very private about our conceiving through IVF so only medical personnel knew and quite frankly, that was bad enough. My OB sent us for CF testing because we did ICSI even though I explained it was not for male factor (there may be a link b/w MFI and CF, I have read) and she kept mentioning all sorts of potential problems due to having done IVF: e.g. premature labour, placental failure, etc. Whether she had not had many patients who had used IVF/ICSI or she wasn't supportive of this technology, I couldn't tell. I guess it seemed so routine for me having done three cycles and an FET that I didn't see where it should be made out to be such a big deal.

Two lactation consultants made it seem like IF was the reason why my supply wasn't so good in the beginning - I heard several times "well, if you had trouble conceiving, there could be hormonal problems that will interfere with supply". I explained that our IF was unexplained and that I had had lots of testing but they still insisted that something could have been missed. As an aside, I am now doing just fine with breastfeeding my 3 month old.

Where I got more rude-ish comments/ surprised expressions was concerning my advanced age, as I was 42 and expecting my first. My OB even said to me at my post partum check "Sure glad it's you and not me". I figure if I tell people we used ART, there will be more comments (whether open or behind my back) about leaving it too late in life, how much money we must have spent doing this etc. I don't want my child to be defined by the manner in which she was conceived.

The bottom line is that people can be rude, even if unintentionally, about things with which they are not familiar or experienced.

[snoah]

Generally speaking, I think for the most part the people that are asking the "Are they natural question, just have no clue about the whole procedure and the emotions that are involved, I dont think they don't mean any harm.

Before I went through IVF, I am sure that I have asked that same question.

To be quite honest, I havent even thought about if this child will be hurt in the future if someone finds out they were conceived by IVF. To me it doesnt really matter how the baby is conceived and so I guess I just think, why would it matter to anyone else?

Loopy: Sometimes you just get the people that are just really ignorant and dont want to learn they just want to keep their own opinion. Those people are great to ignore.

We cant change what people say, we can only change how we react to what they say. My BFF said this to me once and it has gotten me though lots of tough situations.

[hideho]

Loopy great thread. I have had various ridiculous questions about my kids....I won't even go into it!!!

You can definetly limit what people can say about your IVF baby- by not even mentioning it...that way you need not even react to it-especilly if it is negative.

Asking someone if their baby is natural...is ignorant and nosy and really no one's business IMHO.

[tigerlady]

The thing I hated the most when I was pregnant and people learned it was thru IVF, their first question was, How many are you having...or OMG are you an octomom? LIke wtf? I guess Octomom was big when I was pregnant! How annoying that was. It made me so mad the ignorance of people.

[Haligobabies]

hideho, on 17 April 2010 - 04:09 PM, said:

Asking someone if their baby is natural...is ignorant and nosy and really no one's business IMHO.

I agree 100%! It is an absolutely ridiculous thing to ask a stranger (I don't mind telling family/friends), but to me the nosy public aren't people who I'm accountable to tell my reproductive history too, especially when they have the nerve to ask in front of the kids! I can't imagine going up to random ladies with large chests and saying "are they natural?" I don't want my children listening to random strangers ask about conception before they are the age of understanding the context.

[Lilygirl2727]

I feel really lucky because I have never had anybody make any negative comments to me at all. Ever. I have always been very open about the fact that my kids were conceived thru IVF. it actually never occurred to me that people would think less of my kids or think they were strange. I always considered it something that the kids would think is cool and be proud of. It makes them special. I can't believe there are people in this world that have actually said these things to you guys. What A-holes! I guess it just goes to show that there are some people who will always try to belittle what other people have. The problem is theirs, not yours!!