372 replies to this topic

[MB.]

Tell him that he is equally able to do what he deems to be the noble thing and adopt instead of having biological children, if he feels that strongly.  I am sure that he is unaware of the challenges that are part of adoption as he is obviously unaware of the challenges you are already facing with infertility.

[My_time]

The most dumb thing I get frequently (last one this past Sunday is): Are you pregnant? Is that a baby belly? 

NO. I. JUST. HAVE. POTBELLY.

Live with it and don't ask such a personal question!

[gibasgirl]

Umm, My Time you are not fat. I've seen you in person.

Having said that, people can be so harshly judgemental about women's bodies. If you don't have a belly as flat as an ironing board, look out!

[trying4apositive]

Last night I told one of my sisters that I was going for a sonohystogram today and am going to do an FET next month. Her first response was positive, it was the second thing out of her mouth that gutted me- "hum, it's been quite a while since I've had my period...I wonder if I'm pregnant again, it really didn't occur to me, were not trying..." then an hour later my other sister called. I told her about my plans for today. Her response-  I'm five days late, I really didn't think about it, were not really trying, but I wonder if I could be pregnant". GUTTED. I can't even imagine not really thinking about it. sigh.

[gibasgirl]

I saw an acupuncturist that is supposedly a specialist in IF.

 

When I told her how long my DH were TTC her response was: "Wow! That must be SO FRUSTRATING!"

 

When I told her about my/our immunological diagnosis and past treatments for it her response was: "That's WEIRD!"

 

Not something I expected from someone who supposedly treats people dealing with IF. She must have taken a weekend course and has only seen couples who've been trying for 2 months without success...because of the stress of high school exams. 

 

Argh!

[My_time]

GG, I read your other post re your pain. Sound like this acupuncturist should be avoided! Bad bedside manners too! Double Argh!

[My_time]

Umm, My Time you are not fat. I've seen you in person.

Having said that, people can be so harshly judgemental about women's bodies. If you don't have a belly as flat as an ironing board, look out!

<3 Thank you (blushed)

[cheers]

Somebody told me that the only meaning of life is to contribute to the genetic gene pool.  Um, really??  Not the thing to tell people who are struggling with infertility. Very cold and simplistic view of things.

[LisaDawn]

Here is some good ones that I have gotten:

 

1: Maybe it is contageous (I WISH)

2: You need to take a vacation because thats how my sister got pregnant (I had just come back from Hawaii where I got my period)

3: You guys are still young (I dont care about how old I am it doesnt make me feel better)

4: Start tracking your period (DUH)

5: You just need to get drunk (actually?)

6: If its meant to be it will be (Not sure what this one was implying, but are you trying to tell me im not supposed to have kids?)

 

People can be super insensitive but most of the people I really talk to in depth are much more suportive! Thank God for good friends and family!

[PaleoMama]

after i was diagnosed with high FSH and hardly detectable AMH at age 35,

my doctor asked when my mother entered her menopause...

i didn't know.

so i asked my mom, and her answer was, 41!

i was shocked, wanted to know why she never mentioned it.

her answer: i didn't know it was something important...

[PaleoMama]

here is a paper about why maternal age at menopause matters:

 

Bentzen JG, Forman JL, Larsen EC, Pinborg A, Johannsen TH, Schmidt L, Friis-Hansen L, Nyboe Andersen A. Maternal menopause as a predictor of anti-Mullerian hormone level and antral follicle count in daughters during reproductive age. Hum Reprod. 2013 Jan;28(1):247-55.

 

 

if i had a daughter, this is  something i would make sure to talk to her about

[gibasgirl]

Here are some dumb things people say to lesbian mothers.

http://www.butchwond...-have-kids.html

[smurfette_w]

This is a great clip of a talk on TED about empathy vs. sympathy.  I think many of us can relate to this, I know I certainly did.

 

http://www.upworthy....obsessed?c=ufb1

[juice]

This is a great clip of a talk on TED about empathy vs. sympathy.  I think many of us can relate to this, I know I certainly did.

 

http://www.upworthy....obsessed?c=ufb1

Thanks for posting this! I cried when I watched this. I'm so sick of superficial sympathy and 'at least...' comments. Now I can back it up with scientific research lol.

[gibasgirl]

I was literally just watching the video on Youtube and was going to post it.

Amazing.

https://www.youtube....bed/1Evwgu369Jw

[juice]

I went to a party last weekend, lots of people I didn't know. One woman started talking to me and after a while I told her my age and that I'm trying to have a child. She started laughing hysterically IN MY FACE. I left the party.

[Meary]

I went to a party last weekend, lots of people I didn't know. One woman started talking to me and after a while I told her my age and that I'm trying to have a child. She started laughing hysterically IN MY FACE. I left the party.

Oh my god that's HORRIBLE.  I absolutely feel for you.  Eff that chick.  Eff her right in her damn face.

[juice]

 

I went to a party last weekend, lots of people I didn't know. One woman started talking to me and after a while I told her my age and that I'm trying to have a child. She started laughing hysterically IN MY FACE. I left the party.

Oh my god that's HORRIBLE.  I absolutely feel for you.  Eff that chick.  Eff her right in her damn face.

 

Thanks Meary. I didn't want to embarrass my friend the host so I didn't tell her to eff off like I wanted to, just left. And she's 38 with an 18 yo son. I could have called her some names...

[gibasgirl]

 

I went to a party last weekend, lots of people I didn't know. One woman started talking to me and after a while I told her my age and that I'm trying to have a child. She started laughing hysterically IN MY FACE. I left the party.

Oh my god that's HORRIBLE.  I absolutely feel for you.  Eff that chick.  Eff her right in her damn face.
 

Thanks Meary. I didn't want to embarrass my friend the host so I didn't tell her to eff off like I wanted to, just left. And she's 38 with an 18 yo son. I could have called her some names...

I can call her some choice names. What a twat. And a bully.

You know, they say how people treat you is their karma and how you react is yours. It says a lot about her (like being an anus) and her mean-spirited nature.

I get the sense that she may have been projecting onto you to make herself feel better. Maybe she has been trying unsuccesfully and thinks that tearing down another woman is her key to success because she is afraid of failure.

Or maybe she is in a relationship that is no longer fulfilling, so she is trying to use that to bring you down.

I get the sense she is not a person who is happy or satisfied with her circumstances and is lashing out in a cowardly fashion.

I am sorry that she subjected you to that awful treatment because you did not deserve it. Nobody does.

Maybe one day soon she will realise that she was a twat and is filled with remorse. Or maybe if she has any friends one of them will say "hey, why do you always have to behave like Snow White's evil stepmother? Everyone thinks you're a twat and nkw they think that I am a twat because I hang out with you. That's it! I'm out."

In the meantime, you have us. Hopefully with time you will forget that person. She sucks.

[gandere1]

What an asshat! Totally unacceptable behaviour. Her laughing spoke volumes about who she is about. A pretty sad individual. Sorry you had to endure that!

[juice]

Yes, thank the lords I have you guys...

[nettibug]

I went to a party last weekend, lots of people I didn't know. One woman started talking to me and after a while I told her my age and that I'm trying to have a child. She started laughing hysterically IN MY FACE. I left the party.

 

I would have definitely called her names.  And punched her in the gut on my way out.

[Bubby99]

I went to a party last weekend, lots of people I didn't know. One woman started talking to me and after a while I told her my age and that I'm trying to have a child. She started laughing hysterically IN MY FACE. I left the party.

OMG I can't imagine! I would've spit in her face!