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Adoption in NS


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#51 mollygirl21

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Posted 13 April 2010 - 06:04 PM

We heard back from Dept of Community Services regarding our request to move our file to Hants County and it was a big fat NO. That really pisses me off! We were not given an option to take the PRIDE classes in another region with a shorter wait time and now that we want to move, they say no. If we had known there was such an imbalance, we could have gone to Hants County to begin with and that would have been fine. There was a couple in our class from Hants County and they attended the Dartmouth Region class so why couldn't it work the other way?

I wonder if we took the classes again in Hants Co if that would be OK? I'm going to call the Hants Co office tomorrow just to confirm the wait time there. If I'm going to fight, I want to make sure it's a worthwhile fight. But of course, I can't fight too hard because you don't want to risk pissing off the people who will be picking you as a match for your future child.

An 18 month wait time is RIDICULOUS! Why are they even allowing new couples to take the PRIDE course if they can't do their home study for a year and a half? There were 3 social workers conducting classes since Christmas. They should have been out there doing home studies to clear the backlog before adding to it.

Ooohhhhhh I'm just so frustrated with this process and the insane wait times just to get approved.
After 3+ years, my cycle history is quite long. For details on each cycle, please visit my "About Me" page

Trying since fall 2007
All tests show normal (we're "unexplained")

COH+IUI in Nov 08 = BFN
IVF # 1 Feb 09 - BFN
IVF #2 June 2009 - BFP
13 week u/s showed a missed m/c. Baby stopped developing around 8 weeks. Damn.

Moving on to adoption :)
March 22, 2010 - finished PRIDE classes
waiting to begin homestudy sometime in the next two years. That's not a typo - TWO YEARS
Feb 2012 - got a call that they are ready to start our home study...putting off all adoption decisions for at least 6 months because I am 2 weeks from my due date (see below)

Feb 2011 - we've been offered donor embryos! FET in a few months after preliminary tests are done...
FET June 2011:
May 7 - start suprefact and low dose aspirin (on CD21)
May 14 - AF started - super heavy and I'm super cranky. Headaches from the suprefact too
May 21 - starting Estrace and both of us start antibiotics
June 3 - u/s to check lining
June 8 - FET
June 21 - Beta is 564. June 24 Beta is 2286
July 12 - first u/s at 7w1d
Aug 18 - second u/s at 12w4d - everything looks great
Aug 30 - first prenatal appt
Oct 6 - 20w anatomy scan, could find out the sex!
It's a BOY!!
EDD is Feb 26, 2012
beautiful healthy baby boy born March 1, 2012 <3

My friend ButterflyKiss provided this quote from Laura Bush's book and I think it captures how many of us feel:"The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence... for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?"

#52 capo

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Posted 13 April 2010 - 06:28 PM

I really want to say something positive, but I just don't get it. I understand your frustration and it just seems so unreasonable. I wonder why??? It is such a tough position to be in. You want to show that you can be a positive advocate without stepping on toes. And you have no idea how sensitive those particular toes might be. :wall:
Me-35, DH - 41
TTC since 2005 - high FSH/low ovarian reserve and endo
Ectopic pregnancy Dec 2006
3 cycles clomid (Ob Gyn) - BFN
TCART
2 IUIs (Letrosol) - BFN
3 IUIS (Menopur & Letrosol) - 1 chemical pg
OFC
IVF#1/ICSI Feb./Mar. 2009 (Puregon & Repronex) 6 retrieved, 5 fertilized, 2 embies 3dt - BFN
July 20 - Laparoscopy & laser for stage 2 endometriosis, tubes clear
Sept. 2009 - Approved for CAS adoption!!
Create
IVF#2/ICSI Dec. 2009 - natural cycle - BFN
IVF#3 planned for Feb. 2010, but life had better plans:
Jan. 2010 Nicholas is our CAS miracle! Our son is home and we are ecstatic!
April 2010 surprise natural BFP - Allyson was born December 31st 2010!

What a year - we are truly happy and beyond grateful!

#53 Corri78

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Posted 12 October 2010 - 09:49 AM

Hi Mollygirl21!
I joined this site just to tell you how much I've enjoyed this thread. My husband & I are currently taking the PRIDE class in Dartmouth. I didn't know what to expect but reading what you've written after each class has really helped. I must say the homework drives me crazy. We've decided to become foster parents with a view to adopt. I hope you continue to write about the whole experience while you are getting your homestudy done. Good luck!

#54 mollygirl21

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Posted 12 October 2010 - 11:06 AM

Hi Corri,

Glad to hear from you :) How far along the PRIDE classes are you?

Our latest update is actually from June - we decided to volunteer as respite foster parents and even at that, they told us to not expect our home study to be until spring 2011. What timeline have they given you?

Good luck with everything, keep in touch.

MG
After 3+ years, my cycle history is quite long. For details on each cycle, please visit my "About Me" page

Trying since fall 2007
All tests show normal (we're "unexplained")

COH+IUI in Nov 08 = BFN
IVF # 1 Feb 09 - BFN
IVF #2 June 2009 - BFP
13 week u/s showed a missed m/c. Baby stopped developing around 8 weeks. Damn.

Moving on to adoption :)
March 22, 2010 - finished PRIDE classes
waiting to begin homestudy sometime in the next two years. That's not a typo - TWO YEARS
Feb 2012 - got a call that they are ready to start our home study...putting off all adoption decisions for at least 6 months because I am 2 weeks from my due date (see below)

Feb 2011 - we've been offered donor embryos! FET in a few months after preliminary tests are done...
FET June 2011:
May 7 - start suprefact and low dose aspirin (on CD21)
May 14 - AF started - super heavy and I'm super cranky. Headaches from the suprefact too
May 21 - starting Estrace and both of us start antibiotics
June 3 - u/s to check lining
June 8 - FET
June 21 - Beta is 564. June 24 Beta is 2286
July 12 - first u/s at 7w1d
Aug 18 - second u/s at 12w4d - everything looks great
Aug 30 - first prenatal appt
Oct 6 - 20w anatomy scan, could find out the sex!
It's a BOY!!
EDD is Feb 26, 2012
beautiful healthy baby boy born March 1, 2012 <3

My friend ButterflyKiss provided this quote from Laura Bush's book and I think it captures how many of us feel:"The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence... for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?"

#55 Corri78

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Posted 14 October 2010 - 02:47 PM

Hi. We had our 5th class last night. We're more than half done! They haven't told us when we should expect a homestudy. I hope it's really soon. Yours isn't that far away. Spring 2011 is just around the corner. We have a couple in our class who were hoping to adopt the child they're currently fostering which is the wife's cousin's daughter. Her family in Georgia is adopting her instead. I felt so bad for them. I asked her about the homestudy because my husband & I will be the first in our family to adopt. I have no idea what to expect or how personal it will get. She told me it wasn't that bad but their homestudy was fast tracked to get the child in to care.
Have you heard of any support groups in the city? Either for infertility or foster parents?

#56 abb

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Posted 22 December 2010 - 05:49 PM

We heard back from Dept of Community Services regarding our request to move our file to Hants County and it was a big fat NO. That really pisses me off! We were not given an option to take the PRIDE classes in another region with a shorter wait time and now that we want to move, they say no. If we had known there was such an imbalance, we could have gone to Hants County to begin with and that would have been fine. There was a couple in our class from Hants County and they attended the Dartmouth Region class so why couldn't it work the other way?

I wonder if we took the classes again in Hants Co if that would be OK? I'm going to call the Hants Co office tomorrow just to confirm the wait time there. If I'm going to fight, I want to make sure it's a worthwhile fight. But of course, I can't fight too hard because you don't want to risk pissing off the people who will be picking you as a match for your future child.

An 18 month wait time is RIDICULOUS! Why are they even allowing new couples to take the PRIDE course if they can't do their home study for a year and a half? There were 3 social workers conducting classes since Christmas. They should have been out there doing home studies to clear the backlog before adding to it.

Ooohhhhhh I'm just so frustrated with this process and the insane wait times just to get approved.



You might wait longer for the homestudy, but you will wait less time for a placement. For NS placements, you will only get a referral out of county if there is a need or a social worker asks. So it would be rare. But Dartmouth is very busy and has a bigger pool of children. I would keep mine there. The homestudy does take longer, but you will get a placement much faster. TIme goes sooooo slow when the paperwork is done. I would rather wait for the paperwork than wait forever after. But that's just me! :)
International Adoption! Yay! Will finally be able to hold a baby! :)

#57 abb

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Posted 22 December 2010 - 05:51 PM

I have had a homestudy done for over a year, and this spring it will be 2 years. We have been approved for foster care since this summer. It is very hard to wait. SUPER HARD!!
International Adoption! Yay! Will finally be able to hold a baby! :)