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Adoption in NS


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#26 ~*Megan*~

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Posted 22 March 2010 - 03:10 PM

Good luck on your last class tonight.
Our Journey to Parenthood
TTC Since September 2007 - Diagnosis "Unexplained Infertility"
Me 28 - DH 30


Sept 2007-2008 - Trying au natural - When it was fun ;)
Sept 2008 Refered to 1st clinic, what a waste of time
Dec 2008 - Told by old clinic both my tubes were blocked, going for a lap...
Feb 2009 - Lap. done, both tubes clear and open, were never blocked
March 2009 - Clinic gave us the wrong patients results - switched clinics
April 2009 - Started at ISIS
May 2009 - 1st B2B IUI - DH counts amazing, 72 and 42 million 90% mobility - BFN!!! devastated beyond words
June 2009 - IUI #2 - 3 Good follicles - June 16th (113 million sperm, 99% motility WOOHOO) and 17th!! Beta Day July 1st - 14DPIUI...AF arrived...wondering how much more we can take :(
July 2009 - IUI #3 - Changed to timed BD...CD10 (July 10th) Only one good follicle, 2.2 I think, chose timed BD instead of IUI#3, due to only one follicle - we are going to try "au natural " this cycle - BFN again...
August 2009 - Taking time off and enjoying each other, 1st adoption meeting Sept 16th, and I also have a free round of Gonal-F waiting for us at the clinic when we decide to go back - Became a Moderator here at IVF.CA!! Thrilled to be about to give back to a wonderful site and great group
September 2009 - Explored the adoption process with Halton CAS Sept. 16 then decided to take time off from TTC and save for more fertility treatments in the future...
October 2009 - Decided to submit our application for adoption (Oct 27th) and started acupuncture, will not give up we will have a family one day
November 2009 - Finally met Karolyn, she stayed with DH and I for 3 days, she is like a sister to me, and had a few wonderful meet up's with other amazing women from the site...words can not describe what an amazing weekend that was
December 2009 - Re-doing a bunch of tests - hopefully a few IUI's in the new year with a different protocol - Maybe PRIDE training in March
January 2010 - Results from SONO and HSG, all looks great, Right tube questionable, not a huge concern as per Dr. Saving for IVF as that is our next option...might be a few years, hopefully not. Hopefully our miracle will come before -Wondering why is this so hard??
Jan 2010 Cont'd - Accepted to PRIDE training starting in March, SAFE home study to follow...We can finally dream again...
March 2010 - Started PRIDE March 22nd - 9 classes, 3 hrs every Monday night - Enjoying the class, looking forward to the future, getting all our documents ready for our SAFE homestudy package
May 1st 2010 - BFP on a HPT!!! Holy crap how did that happen...May 2nd Beta 182...May 4th Beta 300...1st U/S May 14th - 1st U/S shows healthy miracle bean - H/B and all - 127 beats per minute, what a wonderful moment between DH and I


src="http://lbdf.lilypie.com/eBmim4.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Pregnancy tickers" />

Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will...

Visit our website - http://www.ourjourne...ly.blogspot.com

#27 mollygirl21

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Posted 23 March 2010 - 09:46 AM

I graduated from PRIDE last night and received my certificate of achievment! Yay! That's the good news. The bad news is she told us the wait to start the home study now stands at 18 months. 18 MONTHS!! That's freakin ridiculous!!

And for one last time, I left the session feeling pissed off, frustrated and stressed. Once again, the session focused on fostering with about 5 minutes jammed into the end about our next steps which was discussed at the same time we were to be completing our assessments of the course. I really thought that would be the focus of the last evening but it wasn't. The first 35-40 minutes was wasted listening to a rep from the Foster Parents Federation tell us that she is there to support a foster family in the case of allegations of abuse. That should have taken the same amount of time as it took to type that sentence but she took close to 40 minutes. There is one family in our group of 14 families who is looking to foster!

To be fair, there was some talk last night about changes you will have to make when a child comes home to you and that was basic but at least topical. Yes, I know I will have to get up earlier and yes, I know they need to eat supper every evening.

At the end when she announced this 18 month wait, she gave us her superior's business card and suggested that if that is unacceptable to us, we need to contact this woman. She will be hearing from us.

I was venting to DH on the way home - every time we are willing to take a new path to become parents, roadblocks are thrown up in our way. We just wanted to get married and have a family but that didn't work, we were diagnosed with infertility. We were given some fairly non-invasive drugs to try but that didn't work so we stepped it up a notch. We tried IUI but were unsuccessful so we went all out and we did IVF twice then ran out of money. We've now turned to adoption and look how far that has gotten us.

So we have been at this for 2 months and it will be 18 months before our next step and once started, the home study takes 3 months. Provided they don't suggest counselling for some unforeseen issue they might think we have, that will be 23 months from start to approval. And that's the easy part, then the wait begins for a child and that can be up to 3 or 4 years! So 5 or 6 years total to become parents on top of the 2 1/2 years we've already waited. :th_aggahhh:

Sorry for the rant, this thread was just supposed to be about information but I really am frustrated with the whole thing...adoption, IF, my body, the government, all of it.

If you are even considering adoption at some point in the future - go get signed up now! On second thought, please don't, we can't have anymore families added to the backlog if we ever hope to get through it ;)

MG
After 3+ years, my cycle history is quite long. For details on each cycle, please visit my "About Me" page

Trying since fall 2007
All tests show normal (we're "unexplained")

COH+IUI in Nov 08 = BFN
IVF # 1 Feb 09 - BFN
IVF #2 June 2009 - BFP
13 week u/s showed a missed m/c. Baby stopped developing around 8 weeks. Damn.

Moving on to adoption :)
March 22, 2010 - finished PRIDE classes
waiting to begin homestudy sometime in the next two years. That's not a typo - TWO YEARS
Feb 2012 - got a call that they are ready to start our home study...putting off all adoption decisions for at least 6 months because I am 2 weeks from my due date (see below)

Feb 2011 - we've been offered donor embryos! FET in a few months after preliminary tests are done...
FET June 2011:
May 7 - start suprefact and low dose aspirin (on CD21)
May 14 - AF started - super heavy and I'm super cranky. Headaches from the suprefact too
May 21 - starting Estrace and both of us start antibiotics
June 3 - u/s to check lining
June 8 - FET
June 21 - Beta is 564. June 24 Beta is 2286
July 12 - first u/s at 7w1d
Aug 18 - second u/s at 12w4d - everything looks great
Aug 30 - first prenatal appt
Oct 6 - 20w anatomy scan, could find out the sex!
It's a BOY!!
EDD is Feb 26, 2012
beautiful healthy baby boy born March 1, 2012 <3

My friend ButterflyKiss provided this quote from Laura Bush's book and I think it captures how many of us feel:"The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence... for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?"

#28 capo

capo
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  • Location:Ontario
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Posted 23 March 2010 - 01:19 PM

(((MG))) Sorry your last night was so frustrating. Completing PRIDE should be a celebration, but being one step closer on the never ending journey is just not that satisfying. I hope the supervisor is able to help.
Me-35, DH - 41
TTC since 2005 - high FSH/low ovarian reserve and endo
Ectopic pregnancy Dec 2006
3 cycles clomid (Ob Gyn) - BFN
TCART
2 IUIs (Letrosol) - BFN
3 IUIS (Menopur & Letrosol) - 1 chemical pg
OFC
IVF#1/ICSI Feb./Mar. 2009 (Puregon & Repronex) 6 retrieved, 5 fertilized, 2 embies 3dt - BFN
July 20 - Laparoscopy & laser for stage 2 endometriosis, tubes clear
Sept. 2009 - Approved for CAS adoption!!
Create
IVF#2/ICSI Dec. 2009 - natural cycle - BFN
IVF#3 planned for Feb. 2010, but life had better plans:
Jan. 2010 Nicholas is our CAS miracle! Our son is home and we are ecstatic!
April 2010 surprise natural BFP - Allyson was born December 31st 2010!

What a year - we are truly happy and beyond grateful!

#29 mollygirl21

mollygirl21
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Posted 23 March 2010 - 01:56 PM

I realize I sound very negative about this whole process, I guess I'm just feeling impatient. It was a great feeling to complete the course and receive that certificate, I just wish it all wasn't going to take this long. You don't read about these long waits in other regions just to get approved.

Thanks for the encouragement Capo.
After 3+ years, my cycle history is quite long. For details on each cycle, please visit my "About Me" page

Trying since fall 2007
All tests show normal (we're "unexplained")

COH+IUI in Nov 08 = BFN
IVF # 1 Feb 09 - BFN
IVF #2 June 2009 - BFP
13 week u/s showed a missed m/c. Baby stopped developing around 8 weeks. Damn.

Moving on to adoption :)
March 22, 2010 - finished PRIDE classes
waiting to begin homestudy sometime in the next two years. That's not a typo - TWO YEARS
Feb 2012 - got a call that they are ready to start our home study...putting off all adoption decisions for at least 6 months because I am 2 weeks from my due date (see below)

Feb 2011 - we've been offered donor embryos! FET in a few months after preliminary tests are done...
FET June 2011:
May 7 - start suprefact and low dose aspirin (on CD21)
May 14 - AF started - super heavy and I'm super cranky. Headaches from the suprefact too
May 21 - starting Estrace and both of us start antibiotics
June 3 - u/s to check lining
June 8 - FET
June 21 - Beta is 564. June 24 Beta is 2286
July 12 - first u/s at 7w1d
Aug 18 - second u/s at 12w4d - everything looks great
Aug 30 - first prenatal appt
Oct 6 - 20w anatomy scan, could find out the sex!
It's a BOY!!
EDD is Feb 26, 2012
beautiful healthy baby boy born March 1, 2012 <3

My friend ButterflyKiss provided this quote from Laura Bush's book and I think it captures how many of us feel:"The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence... for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?"

#30 ~*Megan*~

~*Megan*~
  • 1000+
  • 3,055 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Georgetown,ON
  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:ISIS Mississauga

Posted 23 March 2010 - 04:19 PM

I know your feelings.
We started last night and once again, like the information session, I left feeling frusterated! I left feeling discouraged. If I did not know Dee and Adrien (She is on the boards and has a wonderful son from CAS) I would have prob never looked back.

I am so sorry it takes so long in your area - That really does suck...and when you have already wanted a family for so long, it sucks even more!!

LIFE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO UNFAIR SOMETIMES!!!!

I suggest keep calling every few weeks to see where you stand - or get an email from someone there, Do you have your own worker yet?
Our Journey to Parenthood
TTC Since September 2007 - Diagnosis "Unexplained Infertility"
Me 28 - DH 30


Sept 2007-2008 - Trying au natural - When it was fun ;)
Sept 2008 Refered to 1st clinic, what a waste of time
Dec 2008 - Told by old clinic both my tubes were blocked, going for a lap...
Feb 2009 - Lap. done, both tubes clear and open, were never blocked
March 2009 - Clinic gave us the wrong patients results - switched clinics
April 2009 - Started at ISIS
May 2009 - 1st B2B IUI - DH counts amazing, 72 and 42 million 90% mobility - BFN!!! devastated beyond words
June 2009 - IUI #2 - 3 Good follicles - June 16th (113 million sperm, 99% motility WOOHOO) and 17th!! Beta Day July 1st - 14DPIUI...AF arrived...wondering how much more we can take :(
July 2009 - IUI #3 - Changed to timed BD...CD10 (July 10th) Only one good follicle, 2.2 I think, chose timed BD instead of IUI#3, due to only one follicle - we are going to try "au natural " this cycle - BFN again...
August 2009 - Taking time off and enjoying each other, 1st adoption meeting Sept 16th, and I also have a free round of Gonal-F waiting for us at the clinic when we decide to go back - Became a Moderator here at IVF.CA!! Thrilled to be about to give back to a wonderful site and great group
September 2009 - Explored the adoption process with Halton CAS Sept. 16 then decided to take time off from TTC and save for more fertility treatments in the future...
October 2009 - Decided to submit our application for adoption (Oct 27th) and started acupuncture, will not give up we will have a family one day
November 2009 - Finally met Karolyn, she stayed with DH and I for 3 days, she is like a sister to me, and had a few wonderful meet up's with other amazing women from the site...words can not describe what an amazing weekend that was
December 2009 - Re-doing a bunch of tests - hopefully a few IUI's in the new year with a different protocol - Maybe PRIDE training in March
January 2010 - Results from SONO and HSG, all looks great, Right tube questionable, not a huge concern as per Dr. Saving for IVF as that is our next option...might be a few years, hopefully not. Hopefully our miracle will come before -Wondering why is this so hard??
Jan 2010 Cont'd - Accepted to PRIDE training starting in March, SAFE home study to follow...We can finally dream again...
March 2010 - Started PRIDE March 22nd - 9 classes, 3 hrs every Monday night - Enjoying the class, looking forward to the future, getting all our documents ready for our SAFE homestudy package
May 1st 2010 - BFP on a HPT!!! Holy crap how did that happen...May 2nd Beta 182...May 4th Beta 300...1st U/S May 14th - 1st U/S shows healthy miracle bean - H/B and all - 127 beats per minute, what a wonderful moment between DH and I


src="http://lbdf.lilypie.com/eBmim4.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Pregnancy tickers" />

Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will...

Visit our website - http://www.ourjourne...ly.blogspot.com

#31 Rosa

Rosa
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  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:Create IVF

Posted 23 March 2010 - 05:21 PM

I've just been reading the thread and all you have written about adoption is very interesting. I cannot believe the government has classes that combine fostering with adoption. It seems ridiculous to me and from your description very unfair to those adopting.

The wait in my mind is unacceptable! I'm sure it varies across the country, but no one should be asked to wait that long for a child. The entire process should be 24 months from start to finish (including PRIDE, home study and placement of a child in your custody). With so many abused and neglected children in the foster system it amazes me that the government can't act any faster than that.

I was told that in Ontario the wait for a healthy, caucasian infant can be 8 years if going through CAS and not adopting privately. One reason why I kept with IVF and infertility treatments. I didn't want to be something like 50 and becoming a first time mom! For older moms waiting that long is a real issue.

I also read in the paper that many foster parents have more children in their care than their licenses allow because there is such a shortage of spaces and so many children put into care. And that in some cases, case workers put children they've pulled from their parents into foster homes were abuse is suspected because there is such a shortage of places to put these kids. It makes me SO ANGRY!

It seems the government has money for every stupid pet project out there and yet puts very little $ into the welfare of children.

I totally feel your frustration. It shouldn't be this hard should it?




Me 45, DH 41
TTC 3 years
Uterine polyps, high prolactin levels and tested positive for anti-cardio lipin
5 failed IUI's
IVF #1 July 2007, 32 eggs retrieved (many immature), 12 fertilzed, 9 made it to day 3, transferred 3 embbies, BFN
FET #1 - 3 embryos Oct 07, beta Nov 2nd, another BFN
IVF #2 - Nov 2007, on Lupron and birth control pill, 11 days of stims 225 Gonal F plus 75 Repronex and 150 Gonal F at night, retrieved 18 eggs Dec 11th, 8 fertilized through ICSI and 4 naturally
Transfer - 3, 8 cell embryos Dec 14th, BETA Dec 28th, BFN
7 frozen
FET #2 - June 5/08, BFN
hysteroscopy and polypectomy on Sept 25/08, removed 1 polyp
FET #3 - used up my last 4 frosties Oct 27/08
Beta Nov 9/08 125 BFP 13dp3dt
Beta Nov 11/08 315 15dp3dt
Beta Nov 15/08 over 2000 19dp3dt
Beta Nov 18/08 7365 22dp3dt
U/S date Nov 29/08, a singleton, heart beat 131 beats per minute
U/S date Dec 7/08, heart beat 160 beats per minute, growth good 8 w 2 days
U/S date Dec 13/08, heart beat 157 beats per minute, growth good at 9 w 1 day, baby moving around
U/S date Dec 27/08, heart beat 165 beats per minute, growth good at 11 weeks 1 day, baby moving around, now has arms and legs and was kicking
nuchal test US Jan 2/08 TEXTBOOK NORMAL Thank you God!
IPS pregnancy test results NORMAL, risk is 1/800 of Down's Syndrome and 1/1,100 for spina bifida
anatomical u/s NORMAL, it's a girl!
Due date July 18, 2009 in the home stretch

Sophia Anne born July 22, 2009 at 12:41 AM via emergency C-Section.

Fell down the stairs Aug 4, 2010, fractured C7, T1, T3 and 4 ribs (neck and upper spine). Still healing and hoping bones fuse on their own.

#32 mollygirl21

mollygirl21
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  • Gender:Female
  • Dx:Unexplained

Posted 23 March 2010 - 06:45 PM

The most frustrating part of this 18 month wait is that is just in the region we're in. We are about 2 kms from the region next door and the wait time in that region is about 3 months! How can that be? How can the resources be so out of balance?

I don't think there is a lack of adoptive parents in NS. There is definitely a need for more foster parents and a need for more adoptive parents willing to take children older than 5 yrs old.

I'm so sorry if this thread has put anyone off adoption. I don't know how to be anything but completely honest about my experiences and feelings so that is what came out. Of course it will all be worth it in the end.

Megan - hang in there. There will be some rough nights but hang on to Deedee's story (I know her story too) and Capo's and any other positive you hear. And count down the days to the panel evening because you will leave with a smile on your face that night.

MG
After 3+ years, my cycle history is quite long. For details on each cycle, please visit my "About Me" page

Trying since fall 2007
All tests show normal (we're "unexplained")

COH+IUI in Nov 08 = BFN
IVF # 1 Feb 09 - BFN
IVF #2 June 2009 - BFP
13 week u/s showed a missed m/c. Baby stopped developing around 8 weeks. Damn.

Moving on to adoption :)
March 22, 2010 - finished PRIDE classes
waiting to begin homestudy sometime in the next two years. That's not a typo - TWO YEARS
Feb 2012 - got a call that they are ready to start our home study...putting off all adoption decisions for at least 6 months because I am 2 weeks from my due date (see below)

Feb 2011 - we've been offered donor embryos! FET in a few months after preliminary tests are done...
FET June 2011:
May 7 - start suprefact and low dose aspirin (on CD21)
May 14 - AF started - super heavy and I'm super cranky. Headaches from the suprefact too
May 21 - starting Estrace and both of us start antibiotics
June 3 - u/s to check lining
June 8 - FET
June 21 - Beta is 564. June 24 Beta is 2286
July 12 - first u/s at 7w1d
Aug 18 - second u/s at 12w4d - everything looks great
Aug 30 - first prenatal appt
Oct 6 - 20w anatomy scan, could find out the sex!
It's a BOY!!
EDD is Feb 26, 2012
beautiful healthy baby boy born March 1, 2012 <3

My friend ButterflyKiss provided this quote from Laura Bush's book and I think it captures how many of us feel:"The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence... for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?"

#33 Bookworm

Bookworm
  • Global 100+
  • 465 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Calgary
  • Interests:Reading (mainly contemporary fiction), cross stitch, the British soap Coronation Street (I met DH at a Corrie Fan Club in Edmonton!)
  • Dx:N/A
  • My Clinic:Foothills

Posted 23 March 2010 - 06:51 PM

Molly Girl,
The 18 month wait for home study is outrageous! Nova Scotia seems out to lunch on some of their timing, to say the least! I can totally understand how unbelievably frustrating this must be for you, with nothing to do but wait and wait. So frustrating on so many levels! The years of waiting are so painful, many of us have been where you are both with IF and adoption. Everyone on this board in the process of adopting is in my thoughts often.

Keep slogging away and one day you will be amazed that somehow the child(ren) you were meant to parent have found their way into your arms.

Lesley B.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. --Douglas Adams
Me 42 DH 40
TTC 2003 to 2007, 6 IUI with clomid, 1 IVF, 1 FET--no success
Decide to create a family through international adoption from Ethiopia.
August 5, 2008: Referral for an adorable boy born October, 2007!
November 11, 2008: Court successful, I'm officially a Mommy!
December 24, 2008: Home with our son!
December 14, 2011: Autism diagnosis, and we enter a completely new world!
Present: I can't imagine my life without this little miracle in it. He amazes me every day.

#34 mollygirl21

mollygirl21
  • Cyclebase
  • 1,513 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Dx:Unexplained

Posted 23 March 2010 - 06:56 PM

THank you Bookworm, you are a wonderful source of inspiration for those of us just starting out.
After 3+ years, my cycle history is quite long. For details on each cycle, please visit my "About Me" page

Trying since fall 2007
All tests show normal (we're "unexplained")

COH+IUI in Nov 08 = BFN
IVF # 1 Feb 09 - BFN
IVF #2 June 2009 - BFP
13 week u/s showed a missed m/c. Baby stopped developing around 8 weeks. Damn.

Moving on to adoption :)
March 22, 2010 - finished PRIDE classes
waiting to begin homestudy sometime in the next two years. That's not a typo - TWO YEARS
Feb 2012 - got a call that they are ready to start our home study...putting off all adoption decisions for at least 6 months because I am 2 weeks from my due date (see below)

Feb 2011 - we've been offered donor embryos! FET in a few months after preliminary tests are done...
FET June 2011:
May 7 - start suprefact and low dose aspirin (on CD21)
May 14 - AF started - super heavy and I'm super cranky. Headaches from the suprefact too
May 21 - starting Estrace and both of us start antibiotics
June 3 - u/s to check lining
June 8 - FET
June 21 - Beta is 564. June 24 Beta is 2286
July 12 - first u/s at 7w1d
Aug 18 - second u/s at 12w4d - everything looks great
Aug 30 - first prenatal appt
Oct 6 - 20w anatomy scan, could find out the sex!
It's a BOY!!
EDD is Feb 26, 2012
beautiful healthy baby boy born March 1, 2012 <3

My friend ButterflyKiss provided this quote from Laura Bush's book and I think it captures how many of us feel:"The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence... for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?"

#35 ~*Megan*~

~*Megan*~
  • 1000+
  • 3,055 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Georgetown,ON
  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:ISIS Mississauga

Posted 23 March 2010 - 07:15 PM

For sure - Bookworm, you keep us going!!

Glad to have this thread - I am feeling really down today...not so much the adoption issue and having to wait - but a friend told me she is pregnant with her 5th child (yes, you read that right) and she does not plan on keeping it. This news hit me hard and I am not sure where to turn with this information.

Rosa - you are right, it is INSANE the wait - but I think the timeline they told you is a little off - I know three people that have adopted, one baby just under 1 year old, and it took the couple anywhere from 1 year to three...but yes, if you are looking for a newborn, it does not happen often...but it does happen from what I have heard...

Trying to keep our heads held high and our eyes on the end result - being parents.

I am so thankful for this thread :) and you ladies!
Our Journey to Parenthood
TTC Since September 2007 - Diagnosis "Unexplained Infertility"
Me 28 - DH 30


Sept 2007-2008 - Trying au natural - When it was fun ;)
Sept 2008 Refered to 1st clinic, what a waste of time
Dec 2008 - Told by old clinic both my tubes were blocked, going for a lap...
Feb 2009 - Lap. done, both tubes clear and open, were never blocked
March 2009 - Clinic gave us the wrong patients results - switched clinics
April 2009 - Started at ISIS
May 2009 - 1st B2B IUI - DH counts amazing, 72 and 42 million 90% mobility - BFN!!! devastated beyond words
June 2009 - IUI #2 - 3 Good follicles - June 16th (113 million sperm, 99% motility WOOHOO) and 17th!! Beta Day July 1st - 14DPIUI...AF arrived...wondering how much more we can take :(
July 2009 - IUI #3 - Changed to timed BD...CD10 (July 10th) Only one good follicle, 2.2 I think, chose timed BD instead of IUI#3, due to only one follicle - we are going to try "au natural " this cycle - BFN again...
August 2009 - Taking time off and enjoying each other, 1st adoption meeting Sept 16th, and I also have a free round of Gonal-F waiting for us at the clinic when we decide to go back - Became a Moderator here at IVF.CA!! Thrilled to be about to give back to a wonderful site and great group
September 2009 - Explored the adoption process with Halton CAS Sept. 16 then decided to take time off from TTC and save for more fertility treatments in the future...
October 2009 - Decided to submit our application for adoption (Oct 27th) and started acupuncture, will not give up we will have a family one day
November 2009 - Finally met Karolyn, she stayed with DH and I for 3 days, she is like a sister to me, and had a few wonderful meet up's with other amazing women from the site...words can not describe what an amazing weekend that was
December 2009 - Re-doing a bunch of tests - hopefully a few IUI's in the new year with a different protocol - Maybe PRIDE training in March
January 2010 - Results from SONO and HSG, all looks great, Right tube questionable, not a huge concern as per Dr. Saving for IVF as that is our next option...might be a few years, hopefully not. Hopefully our miracle will come before -Wondering why is this so hard??
Jan 2010 Cont'd - Accepted to PRIDE training starting in March, SAFE home study to follow...We can finally dream again...
March 2010 - Started PRIDE March 22nd - 9 classes, 3 hrs every Monday night - Enjoying the class, looking forward to the future, getting all our documents ready for our SAFE homestudy package
May 1st 2010 - BFP on a HPT!!! Holy crap how did that happen...May 2nd Beta 182...May 4th Beta 300...1st U/S May 14th - 1st U/S shows healthy miracle bean - H/B and all - 127 beats per minute, what a wonderful moment between DH and I


src="http://lbdf.lilypie.com/eBmim4.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Pregnancy tickers" />

Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will...

Visit our website - http://www.ourjourne...ly.blogspot.com

#36 capo

capo
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  • 453 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Ontario
  • Dx:Other

Posted 23 March 2010 - 07:33 PM

MG it is good that you are being honest here. The adoption process isn't all rosy. Sometimes I think it is because the system is focused so much on the immediate safety of children that the adoption side seems to be an afterthought. I know they put a lot of effort into the placements that occur, I just don't think they have many resources to allocate to adoptions. Broken system?? I really don't know enough about it, but I wonder.

When DH and I put in our names with CAS, we had only heard negative. Our social workers didn't promise anything either. In the end we figured we had opened a window and if parenthood was meant to arrive that way, at least we had done it. On the tough nights, I would say 'This is still easier than IVF and it could give us better results'. You have done everything you can and for now it is out of your hands. If you are like me, that is extremely frustrating. Hang in there!
Me-35, DH - 41
TTC since 2005 - high FSH/low ovarian reserve and endo
Ectopic pregnancy Dec 2006
3 cycles clomid (Ob Gyn) - BFN
TCART
2 IUIs (Letrosol) - BFN
3 IUIS (Menopur & Letrosol) - 1 chemical pg
OFC
IVF#1/ICSI Feb./Mar. 2009 (Puregon & Repronex) 6 retrieved, 5 fertilized, 2 embies 3dt - BFN
July 20 - Laparoscopy & laser for stage 2 endometriosis, tubes clear
Sept. 2009 - Approved for CAS adoption!!
Create
IVF#2/ICSI Dec. 2009 - natural cycle - BFN
IVF#3 planned for Feb. 2010, but life had better plans:
Jan. 2010 Nicholas is our CAS miracle! Our son is home and we are ecstatic!
April 2010 surprise natural BFP - Allyson was born December 31st 2010!

What a year - we are truly happy and beyond grateful!

#37 mollygirl21

mollygirl21
  • Cyclebase
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  • Gender:Female
  • Dx:Unexplained

Posted 23 March 2010 - 07:44 PM

I just sent an email to the PRIDE facilitator's supervisor as she suggested. Here is what I wrote:

We have just completed the PRIDE training with Winnie Benton in the Dartmouth region. Last night was our last class and Winnie tells us the wait time for the next step is about 18 months. We just wanted to write to express to you how unhappy we are to hear that. We understand that getting approved is only the first round of waiting we will endure, the real wait starts once we are approved and now that seems like it is a long way off.

What is most frustrating to us is that we have heard that the wait time in Hants County is only 3 months. We live about 2 kms away from Hants County. We have always been a bit confused about why we were sent to the Dartmouth region given that we live in the country and we have been told the goal is to place children within their community. We don't belong to the community of Dartmouth, we are much closer to Enfield and Elmsdale, in Hants County. Given that there were couples in our class from Chester and Hants County, it seems we could have been given a choice and the province could spread the workload more evenly between regions.

Winnie mentioned that your department is considering putting more social workers on Home Assessments and we want to say how much we hope that happens. We know we will be wonderful parents to a child someday, we just want that day to be sooner than later.

A little about us: While we are not suited for fostering, we are interested in finding out more about fostering with a view to adopt, and we are open to adopting children up to 4 years old and sibling groups including twins (my husband is a twin). We have tried to put everything in place that we could in preparation for this next chapter in our lives including building our family home last fall, getting suitable life insurance now that we are going to be parents, and gathering the necessities for a child who may come to live with us. We have been prepared to become parents for 3 years now but were waylaid with a diagnosis of infertility so another long wait seems very daunting.

Can you please let us know if there is anything we can do to cut this wait time? Can we move our file to Hants County where the wait time is significantly less? Do you have any suggestions for us?


Hope to get a response from her :)
MG
After 3+ years, my cycle history is quite long. For details on each cycle, please visit my "About Me" page

Trying since fall 2007
All tests show normal (we're "unexplained")

COH+IUI in Nov 08 = BFN
IVF # 1 Feb 09 - BFN
IVF #2 June 2009 - BFP
13 week u/s showed a missed m/c. Baby stopped developing around 8 weeks. Damn.

Moving on to adoption :)
March 22, 2010 - finished PRIDE classes
waiting to begin homestudy sometime in the next two years. That's not a typo - TWO YEARS
Feb 2012 - got a call that they are ready to start our home study...putting off all adoption decisions for at least 6 months because I am 2 weeks from my due date (see below)

Feb 2011 - we've been offered donor embryos! FET in a few months after preliminary tests are done...
FET June 2011:
May 7 - start suprefact and low dose aspirin (on CD21)
May 14 - AF started - super heavy and I'm super cranky. Headaches from the suprefact too
May 21 - starting Estrace and both of us start antibiotics
June 3 - u/s to check lining
June 8 - FET
June 21 - Beta is 564. June 24 Beta is 2286
July 12 - first u/s at 7w1d
Aug 18 - second u/s at 12w4d - everything looks great
Aug 30 - first prenatal appt
Oct 6 - 20w anatomy scan, could find out the sex!
It's a BOY!!
EDD is Feb 26, 2012
beautiful healthy baby boy born March 1, 2012 <3

My friend ButterflyKiss provided this quote from Laura Bush's book and I think it captures how many of us feel:"The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence... for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?"

#38 mollygirl21

mollygirl21
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  • Dx:Unexplained

Posted 23 March 2010 - 07:49 PM

capo - we were posting at the same time. Thank you for your kind words of support. As you can see from my email to the department, I don't easily take the direction to sit back and wait! We'll try a couple things and if nothing can change, we'll just sit and wait because what choice do we have. I don't know enough about the system either to comment except that I just don't think there are enough adoptive and foster parents or enough resources for any of it.

Has anyone read the expert panel findings from Ontario last week that argues for IVF funding? The whole first section is about what's wrong with the foster and adoptive system in Ont. I'll go back and take a closer look now that it applies to my life more than the iVF section.

MG
After 3+ years, my cycle history is quite long. For details on each cycle, please visit my "About Me" page

Trying since fall 2007
All tests show normal (we're "unexplained")

COH+IUI in Nov 08 = BFN
IVF # 1 Feb 09 - BFN
IVF #2 June 2009 - BFP
13 week u/s showed a missed m/c. Baby stopped developing around 8 weeks. Damn.

Moving on to adoption :)
March 22, 2010 - finished PRIDE classes
waiting to begin homestudy sometime in the next two years. That's not a typo - TWO YEARS
Feb 2012 - got a call that they are ready to start our home study...putting off all adoption decisions for at least 6 months because I am 2 weeks from my due date (see below)

Feb 2011 - we've been offered donor embryos! FET in a few months after preliminary tests are done...
FET June 2011:
May 7 - start suprefact and low dose aspirin (on CD21)
May 14 - AF started - super heavy and I'm super cranky. Headaches from the suprefact too
May 21 - starting Estrace and both of us start antibiotics
June 3 - u/s to check lining
June 8 - FET
June 21 - Beta is 564. June 24 Beta is 2286
July 12 - first u/s at 7w1d
Aug 18 - second u/s at 12w4d - everything looks great
Aug 30 - first prenatal appt
Oct 6 - 20w anatomy scan, could find out the sex!
It's a BOY!!
EDD is Feb 26, 2012
beautiful healthy baby boy born March 1, 2012 <3

My friend ButterflyKiss provided this quote from Laura Bush's book and I think it captures how many of us feel:"The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence... for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?"

#39 capo

capo
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  • Location:Ontario
  • Dx:Other

Posted 23 March 2010 - 08:14 PM

Your letter is well written - the tone seems just right to me although I can't think of the word to describe it right now. I am anxious to hear what kind of response you get!

I didn't know that the report talked about fostering and adoption - I am going to look at it when I can focus on it. I'm curious now!
Me-35, DH - 41
TTC since 2005 - high FSH/low ovarian reserve and endo
Ectopic pregnancy Dec 2006
3 cycles clomid (Ob Gyn) - BFN
TCART
2 IUIs (Letrosol) - BFN
3 IUIS (Menopur & Letrosol) - 1 chemical pg
OFC
IVF#1/ICSI Feb./Mar. 2009 (Puregon & Repronex) 6 retrieved, 5 fertilized, 2 embies 3dt - BFN
July 20 - Laparoscopy & laser for stage 2 endometriosis, tubes clear
Sept. 2009 - Approved for CAS adoption!!
Create
IVF#2/ICSI Dec. 2009 - natural cycle - BFN
IVF#3 planned for Feb. 2010, but life had better plans:
Jan. 2010 Nicholas is our CAS miracle! Our son is home and we are ecstatic!
April 2010 surprise natural BFP - Allyson was born December 31st 2010!

What a year - we are truly happy and beyond grateful!

#40 Rosa

Rosa
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  • My Clinic:Create IVF

Posted 23 March 2010 - 08:47 PM

MG I don't think you would put anyone off adoption with this thread. You are just documenting your feelings and your experiences, the good, the bad and the ugly.

I have thought about adoption to give my DD a sibling - because I don't think I can go through anymore IF treatments.


Me 45, DH 41
TTC 3 years
Uterine polyps, high prolactin levels and tested positive for anti-cardio lipin
5 failed IUI's
IVF #1 July 2007, 32 eggs retrieved (many immature), 12 fertilzed, 9 made it to day 3, transferred 3 embbies, BFN
FET #1 - 3 embryos Oct 07, beta Nov 2nd, another BFN
IVF #2 - Nov 2007, on Lupron and birth control pill, 11 days of stims 225 Gonal F plus 75 Repronex and 150 Gonal F at night, retrieved 18 eggs Dec 11th, 8 fertilized through ICSI and 4 naturally
Transfer - 3, 8 cell embryos Dec 14th, BETA Dec 28th, BFN
7 frozen
FET #2 - June 5/08, BFN
hysteroscopy and polypectomy on Sept 25/08, removed 1 polyp
FET #3 - used up my last 4 frosties Oct 27/08
Beta Nov 9/08 125 BFP 13dp3dt
Beta Nov 11/08 315 15dp3dt
Beta Nov 15/08 over 2000 19dp3dt
Beta Nov 18/08 7365 22dp3dt
U/S date Nov 29/08, a singleton, heart beat 131 beats per minute
U/S date Dec 7/08, heart beat 160 beats per minute, growth good 8 w 2 days
U/S date Dec 13/08, heart beat 157 beats per minute, growth good at 9 w 1 day, baby moving around
U/S date Dec 27/08, heart beat 165 beats per minute, growth good at 11 weeks 1 day, baby moving around, now has arms and legs and was kicking
nuchal test US Jan 2/08 TEXTBOOK NORMAL Thank you God!
IPS pregnancy test results NORMAL, risk is 1/800 of Down's Syndrome and 1/1,100 for spina bifida
anatomical u/s NORMAL, it's a girl!
Due date July 18, 2009 in the home stretch

Sophia Anne born July 22, 2009 at 12:41 AM via emergency C-Section.

Fell down the stairs Aug 4, 2010, fractured C7, T1, T3 and 4 ribs (neck and upper spine). Still healing and hoping bones fuse on their own.

#41 ~*Megan*~

~*Megan*~
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  • Location:Georgetown,ON
  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:ISIS Mississauga

Posted 23 March 2010 - 08:50 PM

MG it is good that you are being honest here. The adoption process isn't all rosy. Sometimes I think it is because the system is focused so much on the immediate safety of children that the adoption side seems to be an afterthought. I know they put a lot of effort into the placements that occur, I just don't think they have many resources to allocate to adoptions. Broken system?? I really don't know enough about it, but I wonder.

When DH and I put in our names with CAS, we had only heard negative. Our social workers didn't promise anything either. In the end we figured we had opened a window and if parenthood was meant to arrive that way, at least we had done it. On the tough nights, I would say 'This is still easier than IVF and it could give us better results'. You have done everything you can and for now it is out of your hands. If you are like me, that is extremely frustrating. Hang in there!


So well put, you are very right.
Our Journey to Parenthood
TTC Since September 2007 - Diagnosis "Unexplained Infertility"
Me 28 - DH 30


Sept 2007-2008 - Trying au natural - When it was fun ;)
Sept 2008 Refered to 1st clinic, what a waste of time
Dec 2008 - Told by old clinic both my tubes were blocked, going for a lap...
Feb 2009 - Lap. done, both tubes clear and open, were never blocked
March 2009 - Clinic gave us the wrong patients results - switched clinics
April 2009 - Started at ISIS
May 2009 - 1st B2B IUI - DH counts amazing, 72 and 42 million 90% mobility - BFN!!! devastated beyond words
June 2009 - IUI #2 - 3 Good follicles - June 16th (113 million sperm, 99% motility WOOHOO) and 17th!! Beta Day July 1st - 14DPIUI...AF arrived...wondering how much more we can take :(
July 2009 - IUI #3 - Changed to timed BD...CD10 (July 10th) Only one good follicle, 2.2 I think, chose timed BD instead of IUI#3, due to only one follicle - we are going to try "au natural " this cycle - BFN again...
August 2009 - Taking time off and enjoying each other, 1st adoption meeting Sept 16th, and I also have a free round of Gonal-F waiting for us at the clinic when we decide to go back - Became a Moderator here at IVF.CA!! Thrilled to be about to give back to a wonderful site and great group
September 2009 - Explored the adoption process with Halton CAS Sept. 16 then decided to take time off from TTC and save for more fertility treatments in the future...
October 2009 - Decided to submit our application for adoption (Oct 27th) and started acupuncture, will not give up we will have a family one day
November 2009 - Finally met Karolyn, she stayed with DH and I for 3 days, she is like a sister to me, and had a few wonderful meet up's with other amazing women from the site...words can not describe what an amazing weekend that was
December 2009 - Re-doing a bunch of tests - hopefully a few IUI's in the new year with a different protocol - Maybe PRIDE training in March
January 2010 - Results from SONO and HSG, all looks great, Right tube questionable, not a huge concern as per Dr. Saving for IVF as that is our next option...might be a few years, hopefully not. Hopefully our miracle will come before -Wondering why is this so hard??
Jan 2010 Cont'd - Accepted to PRIDE training starting in March, SAFE home study to follow...We can finally dream again...
March 2010 - Started PRIDE March 22nd - 9 classes, 3 hrs every Monday night - Enjoying the class, looking forward to the future, getting all our documents ready for our SAFE homestudy package
May 1st 2010 - BFP on a HPT!!! Holy crap how did that happen...May 2nd Beta 182...May 4th Beta 300...1st U/S May 14th - 1st U/S shows healthy miracle bean - H/B and all - 127 beats per minute, what a wonderful moment between DH and I


src="http://lbdf.lilypie.com/eBmim4.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Pregnancy tickers" />

Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will...

Visit our website - http://www.ourjourne...ly.blogspot.com

#42 kme

kme
  • Member
  • 111 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Dx:Tubal
  • My Clinic:Edmonton

Posted 28 March 2010 - 10:22 AM

Hi Ladies,

I've been following the thread to learn about PRIDE and have only posted a few times. I was really unsure of going to our training and getting information here was helpful. However, it seems that the adoption process is very different here in Alberta. There are gov't adoptions, which are children in the foster system who have special needs and/or have probably been apprehended. All adoptions pursued through this avenue are funded by the gov't - no fees for anything (surprising) and then all/most supports required will be funded by the gov't until they are 18, even if you have adopted the child. There are infants, but mostly toddlers and sibling groups. The range of special needs can be none to severe. I get the impression that they are generally closed adoptions due to the family history, but can be open as well, depending on the situation.

The other avenue here is going through an an agency - there are 3 or 4 for Alberta, I think. They are all open adoptions. We attended our training this weekend. It was all day Friday and Saturday. All of the couples were looking to adopt - no foster families, they go to the gov't. I think the majority, if not all but one of the 12 couples were there because of infertility. It was also interesting to note that 7/12 women were teachers including me (an interesting aside, at my clinic the nurse has said that so many of clients are teachers... what is it with this group? Are we waiting longer, is it stress? but that's another forum topic). Anyway, I was very surprised to discover that almost all of the adoptions are infants and most adoptive parents are at the hospital when the child is born. I was extremely concerned about the idea of an open adoption and having to have a relationship with birthmom and possibly her family, but apparently, in the long run the knowledge and relationship is better for the child. I'm still struggling a bit with that concept, but the information gave me hope and I'm much more comfortable. Its not co-parenting in any way, it could be letters and pics, to visits several times a year or more or even no involvement. I have some stuff to read to help sort that out and the home study will work with that as well.

The first day was all about the process and our roles. We got a huge binder that I still have to go through. We talked about our fears and questions and everything was dealt with in a non-judgmental way and we were reassured that our concerns were normal and had all been brought up before. There was also a significant section about grief and loss that goes with infertility and adoption for all parties involved. That part was really validating and on Monday I'm switching counselors. I've been to 2 sessions with my current one, but while she's a caring person, she doesn't understand infertility. There's now a woman in Edmonton who specializes in it. One of the activities was the hurtful things people say when you're dealing with IF. It was really interesting, especially the reactions of the 1-2 women who were not infertile. They were so shocked at what we put up with. We also got to look at files of Dear Birthmom letters to get some ideas. We write a 2 page letter outlining who we are and attach 4-5 pages of pictures. The files are presented according to the birthmom by the longest waiting couples who fit the criteria she's looking for. However, they also said that some people have barely finished the home study and have gotten a call that there's a child for them.

Saturday was a bit of a cry fest. We talked a bit about our partners and our stories. We also did some activities about who the birthmom is and also the birthfather and the birthgrandparents and all the feelings they have. I was really concerned about the choices the birthmom might make during her pregnancy. Apparently the agency has a very positive relationship with the birthmom and she is usually very honest about drugs and alcohol. I gained a new respect for these women who choose an adoption plan (see - I've got the adoption positive language already!). Its got to be the hardest decision she will ever make in her lifetime. Then we watched a video outlining the open adoption experience with a birthmom and an adoptive family. We had a panel of 1 birthmom and 1 couple who have adopted (not connected to each other).

I must say, that DH & I feel much more at peace with the process. We'll finish off the last bit of paperwork and the Dear Birthmother letter this week and hand them in. Once that's done we're contacted within 2 weeks to start our home study. The home study has to be completed within 90 days of our paperwork being approved. We expect to be put on the waiting list by the end of May. The average wait is about 16 months. Apparently we have to get a car seat and have it ready to go because "instant adoptions" are quite common. A woman could show up at the hospital and want an adoption agency contacted. Some have the plan but don't do anything about it, some have hidden their pregnancy and it sounds like a surprising number have denied their pregnancy and are surprised they are in labour. A couple would get the call saying the woman is in labour, or that the baby has already been born and you get to take the baby home the next day (wow!).

Overall, its still an emotional rollercoaster. The 10 day wait once the birthmom has signed the consent to when its official sounds like a crazy time because she can change her mind during that period and we would have to give back our baby. We are pursuing adoption and are trying one last round of IVF, I'll probably call in CD1 next month. I bought a few books about getting ready for adoption and raising an adopted child. DH and I still have lots of talking to do and I'm sure the home study will bring up many new topics for our bedtime chats.

I haven't slept well all week, but I really feel as if we've moved through to a new level on this crazy journey. Hopefully I'll sleep tonight.

K
Me - 38
DH - 40
2002 - left ovary removed due to cyst
Oct/08 - cyst found on right ovary after 1yr TTC
Nov/08 - surgery to remove cyst, ovary saved!
then...BFP 1 week after surgery (no beta bf surg, big mistake by md)
Dec/08 - miscarriage
Mar/09 - fertility appts start, more surgery?
June/09 - start bcp
July 10 - cysts drained, start menopure
July 22 - ER, 9 eggs, 5 fertilized top grade
July 27 - ET, 2 perfect embies, 3 frozen
Aug 3 - AF...devastated
Oct 26 - start sniffing
Nov 23/09 - FET, 3 strong embryos
Dec 2 - Beta - BFN chemical, HSG pending,
Dec 31 - surgery again...hysteroscopy and exploratory lap to look at/remove tube
May - start metformin for new diagnosis of PCOS, have to lose 12lbs to start
June - start bcp
June 21 - suppression and weight check, all ok - here we go again!
June 24 - start .05 suprefact & 450 puregon
June 25 - cysts drained
July 5-trigger
July 7-ER, 7 eggs, 3 fertilized and are very good to excellent
July21 - beta, AF on July 19th, BFN
moving on to adoption...

#43 ~*Megan*~

~*Megan*~
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  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Georgetown,ON
  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:ISIS Mississauga

Posted 28 March 2010 - 02:49 PM

Wow - what a rollercoaster!!!
I wish you the best of luck!!!

DH and I just started PRIDE this past week...
Our Journey to Parenthood
TTC Since September 2007 - Diagnosis "Unexplained Infertility"
Me 28 - DH 30


Sept 2007-2008 - Trying au natural - When it was fun ;)
Sept 2008 Refered to 1st clinic, what a waste of time
Dec 2008 - Told by old clinic both my tubes were blocked, going for a lap...
Feb 2009 - Lap. done, both tubes clear and open, were never blocked
March 2009 - Clinic gave us the wrong patients results - switched clinics
April 2009 - Started at ISIS
May 2009 - 1st B2B IUI - DH counts amazing, 72 and 42 million 90% mobility - BFN!!! devastated beyond words
June 2009 - IUI #2 - 3 Good follicles - June 16th (113 million sperm, 99% motility WOOHOO) and 17th!! Beta Day July 1st - 14DPIUI...AF arrived...wondering how much more we can take :(
July 2009 - IUI #3 - Changed to timed BD...CD10 (July 10th) Only one good follicle, 2.2 I think, chose timed BD instead of IUI#3, due to only one follicle - we are going to try "au natural " this cycle - BFN again...
August 2009 - Taking time off and enjoying each other, 1st adoption meeting Sept 16th, and I also have a free round of Gonal-F waiting for us at the clinic when we decide to go back - Became a Moderator here at IVF.CA!! Thrilled to be about to give back to a wonderful site and great group
September 2009 - Explored the adoption process with Halton CAS Sept. 16 then decided to take time off from TTC and save for more fertility treatments in the future...
October 2009 - Decided to submit our application for adoption (Oct 27th) and started acupuncture, will not give up we will have a family one day
November 2009 - Finally met Karolyn, she stayed with DH and I for 3 days, she is like a sister to me, and had a few wonderful meet up's with other amazing women from the site...words can not describe what an amazing weekend that was
December 2009 - Re-doing a bunch of tests - hopefully a few IUI's in the new year with a different protocol - Maybe PRIDE training in March
January 2010 - Results from SONO and HSG, all looks great, Right tube questionable, not a huge concern as per Dr. Saving for IVF as that is our next option...might be a few years, hopefully not. Hopefully our miracle will come before -Wondering why is this so hard??
Jan 2010 Cont'd - Accepted to PRIDE training starting in March, SAFE home study to follow...We can finally dream again...
March 2010 - Started PRIDE March 22nd - 9 classes, 3 hrs every Monday night - Enjoying the class, looking forward to the future, getting all our documents ready for our SAFE homestudy package
May 1st 2010 - BFP on a HPT!!! Holy crap how did that happen...May 2nd Beta 182...May 4th Beta 300...1st U/S May 14th - 1st U/S shows healthy miracle bean - H/B and all - 127 beats per minute, what a wonderful moment between DH and I


src="http://lbdf.lilypie.com/eBmim4.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Pregnancy tickers" />

Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will...

Visit our website - http://www.ourjourne...ly.blogspot.com

#44 Bookworm

Bookworm
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  • Interests:Reading (mainly contemporary fiction), cross stitch, the British soap Coronation Street (I met DH at a Corrie Fan Club in Edmonton!)
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Posted 28 March 2010 - 05:38 PM

KME,
I'm in Alberta too (Calgary) and adopted before PRIDE and the SAFE homestudy process. Are you taking PRIDE or a course offered by your adoption agency? We chose international adoption and had a seminar on adoption, focusing on the internationally adoptive family. We had a very in depth interview for our home study, and had seen a counsellor at the Calgary IVF clinic once or twice.

Have there been any long term studies on children in open adoptive families where the birth mother and/or father begin having families and are able to parent those children? I guess everything in adoption depends on the kids' reactions. Some kids might take it in stride, some might wonder why she is parenting other children but made an adoption plan for them. At the very least, it brings an extra dimension for the children to have half-siblings, even if they are raised by a different family.

International (basically closed) adoption isn't easier, it just has different questions. Adoption is wonderful, but it is something wonderful that comes as a result of so much love and pain for the birth mother. If I had been able to at least meet my son's birth mother I would have been able to assure her that her son is loved and thank her so much for making that unbelievably difficult choice.

Well, my son is restless upstairs. I should go rescue Daddy! :)
Lesley B.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. --Douglas Adams
Me 42 DH 40
TTC 2003 to 2007, 6 IUI with clomid, 1 IVF, 1 FET--no success
Decide to create a family through international adoption from Ethiopia.
August 5, 2008: Referral for an adorable boy born October, 2007!
November 11, 2008: Court successful, I'm officially a Mommy!
December 24, 2008: Home with our son!
December 14, 2011: Autism diagnosis, and we enter a completely new world!
Present: I can't imagine my life without this little miracle in it. He amazes me every day.

#45 mollygirl21

mollygirl21
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  • Dx:Unexplained

Posted 28 March 2010 - 05:39 PM

KME - thanks for sharing your story. It's amazing how different the process is from province to province. It sounds like your 2 days of training were very focused and useful, that's great. I hope your wait time isn't too long.

Good luck :)

As an update on us...we had a reply from the supervisor of community resources and she said she needs to consult with some colleagues on our options and would get back to us later this week. Hopefully she'll have some good news for us.

MG
After 3+ years, my cycle history is quite long. For details on each cycle, please visit my "About Me" page

Trying since fall 2007
All tests show normal (we're "unexplained")

COH+IUI in Nov 08 = BFN
IVF # 1 Feb 09 - BFN
IVF #2 June 2009 - BFP
13 week u/s showed a missed m/c. Baby stopped developing around 8 weeks. Damn.

Moving on to adoption :)
March 22, 2010 - finished PRIDE classes
waiting to begin homestudy sometime in the next two years. That's not a typo - TWO YEARS
Feb 2012 - got a call that they are ready to start our home study...putting off all adoption decisions for at least 6 months because I am 2 weeks from my due date (see below)

Feb 2011 - we've been offered donor embryos! FET in a few months after preliminary tests are done...
FET June 2011:
May 7 - start suprefact and low dose aspirin (on CD21)
May 14 - AF started - super heavy and I'm super cranky. Headaches from the suprefact too
May 21 - starting Estrace and both of us start antibiotics
June 3 - u/s to check lining
June 8 - FET
June 21 - Beta is 564. June 24 Beta is 2286
July 12 - first u/s at 7w1d
Aug 18 - second u/s at 12w4d - everything looks great
Aug 30 - first prenatal appt
Oct 6 - 20w anatomy scan, could find out the sex!
It's a BOY!!
EDD is Feb 26, 2012
beautiful healthy baby boy born March 1, 2012 <3

My friend ButterflyKiss provided this quote from Laura Bush's book and I think it captures how many of us feel:"The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence... for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?"

#46 ~*Megan*~

~*Megan*~
  • 1000+
  • 3,055 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Georgetown,ON
  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:ISIS Mississauga

Posted 28 March 2010 - 05:42 PM

Hoping for WONDERFUL news in regards to a quicker homestudy :)
Keep us in the loop
Our Journey to Parenthood
TTC Since September 2007 - Diagnosis "Unexplained Infertility"
Me 28 - DH 30


Sept 2007-2008 - Trying au natural - When it was fun ;)
Sept 2008 Refered to 1st clinic, what a waste of time
Dec 2008 - Told by old clinic both my tubes were blocked, going for a lap...
Feb 2009 - Lap. done, both tubes clear and open, were never blocked
March 2009 - Clinic gave us the wrong patients results - switched clinics
April 2009 - Started at ISIS
May 2009 - 1st B2B IUI - DH counts amazing, 72 and 42 million 90% mobility - BFN!!! devastated beyond words
June 2009 - IUI #2 - 3 Good follicles - June 16th (113 million sperm, 99% motility WOOHOO) and 17th!! Beta Day July 1st - 14DPIUI...AF arrived...wondering how much more we can take :(
July 2009 - IUI #3 - Changed to timed BD...CD10 (July 10th) Only one good follicle, 2.2 I think, chose timed BD instead of IUI#3, due to only one follicle - we are going to try "au natural " this cycle - BFN again...
August 2009 - Taking time off and enjoying each other, 1st adoption meeting Sept 16th, and I also have a free round of Gonal-F waiting for us at the clinic when we decide to go back - Became a Moderator here at IVF.CA!! Thrilled to be about to give back to a wonderful site and great group
September 2009 - Explored the adoption process with Halton CAS Sept. 16 then decided to take time off from TTC and save for more fertility treatments in the future...
October 2009 - Decided to submit our application for adoption (Oct 27th) and started acupuncture, will not give up we will have a family one day
November 2009 - Finally met Karolyn, she stayed with DH and I for 3 days, she is like a sister to me, and had a few wonderful meet up's with other amazing women from the site...words can not describe what an amazing weekend that was
December 2009 - Re-doing a bunch of tests - hopefully a few IUI's in the new year with a different protocol - Maybe PRIDE training in March
January 2010 - Results from SONO and HSG, all looks great, Right tube questionable, not a huge concern as per Dr. Saving for IVF as that is our next option...might be a few years, hopefully not. Hopefully our miracle will come before -Wondering why is this so hard??
Jan 2010 Cont'd - Accepted to PRIDE training starting in March, SAFE home study to follow...We can finally dream again...
March 2010 - Started PRIDE March 22nd - 9 classes, 3 hrs every Monday night - Enjoying the class, looking forward to the future, getting all our documents ready for our SAFE homestudy package
May 1st 2010 - BFP on a HPT!!! Holy crap how did that happen...May 2nd Beta 182...May 4th Beta 300...1st U/S May 14th - 1st U/S shows healthy miracle bean - H/B and all - 127 beats per minute, what a wonderful moment between DH and I


src="http://lbdf.lilypie.com/eBmim4.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Pregnancy tickers" />

Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will...

Visit our website - http://www.ourjourne...ly.blogspot.com

#47 capo

capo
  • Global 100+
  • 453 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Ontario
  • Dx:Other

Posted 29 March 2010 - 06:48 PM

KME & Bookworm - It surprises me that adoption is so different across the country! In our area, only the Children's Aid Society offers PRIDE so there were foster parents, relief parents, international adoption couples and CAS adoption couples in the same group. Private adoption candidates would also take the course through CAS. It makes for interesting conversations, but not much situation-specific teaching.

Megan - Thinking of you tonight and hoping your class goes well!!

MG - I hope you get good news very soon!
Me-35, DH - 41
TTC since 2005 - high FSH/low ovarian reserve and endo
Ectopic pregnancy Dec 2006
3 cycles clomid (Ob Gyn) - BFN
TCART
2 IUIs (Letrosol) - BFN
3 IUIS (Menopur & Letrosol) - 1 chemical pg
OFC
IVF#1/ICSI Feb./Mar. 2009 (Puregon & Repronex) 6 retrieved, 5 fertilized, 2 embies 3dt - BFN
July 20 - Laparoscopy & laser for stage 2 endometriosis, tubes clear
Sept. 2009 - Approved for CAS adoption!!
Create
IVF#2/ICSI Dec. 2009 - natural cycle - BFN
IVF#3 planned for Feb. 2010, but life had better plans:
Jan. 2010 Nicholas is our CAS miracle! Our son is home and we are ecstatic!
April 2010 surprise natural BFP - Allyson was born December 31st 2010!

What a year - we are truly happy and beyond grateful!

#48 ~*Megan*~

~*Megan*~
  • 1000+
  • 3,055 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Georgetown,ON
  • Dx:Unexplained
  • My Clinic:ISIS Mississauga

Posted 29 March 2010 - 09:14 PM

Class was awsome!!
Will blog tomorrow for sure
Our Journey to Parenthood
TTC Since September 2007 - Diagnosis "Unexplained Infertility"
Me 28 - DH 30


Sept 2007-2008 - Trying au natural - When it was fun ;)
Sept 2008 Refered to 1st clinic, what a waste of time
Dec 2008 - Told by old clinic both my tubes were blocked, going for a lap...
Feb 2009 - Lap. done, both tubes clear and open, were never blocked
March 2009 - Clinic gave us the wrong patients results - switched clinics
April 2009 - Started at ISIS
May 2009 - 1st B2B IUI - DH counts amazing, 72 and 42 million 90% mobility - BFN!!! devastated beyond words
June 2009 - IUI #2 - 3 Good follicles - June 16th (113 million sperm, 99% motility WOOHOO) and 17th!! Beta Day July 1st - 14DPIUI...AF arrived...wondering how much more we can take :(
July 2009 - IUI #3 - Changed to timed BD...CD10 (July 10th) Only one good follicle, 2.2 I think, chose timed BD instead of IUI#3, due to only one follicle - we are going to try "au natural " this cycle - BFN again...
August 2009 - Taking time off and enjoying each other, 1st adoption meeting Sept 16th, and I also have a free round of Gonal-F waiting for us at the clinic when we decide to go back - Became a Moderator here at IVF.CA!! Thrilled to be about to give back to a wonderful site and great group
September 2009 - Explored the adoption process with Halton CAS Sept. 16 then decided to take time off from TTC and save for more fertility treatments in the future...
October 2009 - Decided to submit our application for adoption (Oct 27th) and started acupuncture, will not give up we will have a family one day
November 2009 - Finally met Karolyn, she stayed with DH and I for 3 days, she is like a sister to me, and had a few wonderful meet up's with other amazing women from the site...words can not describe what an amazing weekend that was
December 2009 - Re-doing a bunch of tests - hopefully a few IUI's in the new year with a different protocol - Maybe PRIDE training in March
January 2010 - Results from SONO and HSG, all looks great, Right tube questionable, not a huge concern as per Dr. Saving for IVF as that is our next option...might be a few years, hopefully not. Hopefully our miracle will come before -Wondering why is this so hard??
Jan 2010 Cont'd - Accepted to PRIDE training starting in March, SAFE home study to follow...We can finally dream again...
March 2010 - Started PRIDE March 22nd - 9 classes, 3 hrs every Monday night - Enjoying the class, looking forward to the future, getting all our documents ready for our SAFE homestudy package
May 1st 2010 - BFP on a HPT!!! Holy crap how did that happen...May 2nd Beta 182...May 4th Beta 300...1st U/S May 14th - 1st U/S shows healthy miracle bean - H/B and all - 127 beats per minute, what a wonderful moment between DH and I


src="http://lbdf.lilypie.com/eBmim4.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Pregnancy tickers" />

Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will...

Visit our website - http://www.ourjourne...ly.blogspot.com

#49 mollygirl21

mollygirl21
  • Cyclebase
  • 1,513 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Dx:Unexplained

Posted 01 April 2010 - 12:09 PM

As I mentioned earlier, NS doesn't have any private adoption agencies but in Halifax, we do have the Home of the Guardian Angels which is a place for birth moms to go for advice, support, counselling and help before and after the birth of their child whether they keep the baby or not. For adoptions, HoGA works with the Dept of Community Services so they are not considered a private agency even though they act like one in many ways.

I just got off the phone with the Supervisor of Adoptive Services for HoGA. She said they place a whopping total of 6 - 8 babies per year in adoptive homes. They have 2 social workers on staff who work with birth moms and adoptions and do home assessments but she figured the wait time was about 18 months to get the home study done through them as well.

We were told to call HoGA to be put on their list for a home study and whichever list we come up on first is who would do our home study. Turns out, it's a bit different than that so I'm really glad I called. The HoGA works through the files they have and then when they have resources available, they'll call the dept of community services and ask for a few more files. They don't keep a list of their own per se. But by the end of the conversation, she said she would write our name down...and she was glad I had called.

We had a fairly long conversation where I managed to weasle in info about the fact we have been through years of fertility treatments, would be willing to adopt twins and are just really wanting to be parents.

One other thing that is different about HoGA is that the birth family picks the adoptive family where with the Dept of Comm Services, the social workers make the matches. I asked how that worked and she said the birht mother makes a "wish list" of what she's looking for in an adoptive family and then they pull 4 files that match that list and present the birth mother with the files. She said typical wish list items include a family who believe education is important, they'll specify a family with children or without, they normally want a financially comfortable family, some will say things like a family who loves animals, has a strong religious belief, doesn't have strong religious convictions, etc.

She said potential adoptive families write a letter to the birth mom and that is one of the items presented to her. She said it was important to show empathy toward the birth mom and the decision she is making in that letter.

All in all, it was a helpful conversation and I hope the woman remembers our name and maybe even requests our file the next time they are ready to start home assessments.

MG
After 3+ years, my cycle history is quite long. For details on each cycle, please visit my "About Me" page

Trying since fall 2007
All tests show normal (we're "unexplained")

COH+IUI in Nov 08 = BFN
IVF # 1 Feb 09 - BFN
IVF #2 June 2009 - BFP
13 week u/s showed a missed m/c. Baby stopped developing around 8 weeks. Damn.

Moving on to adoption :)
March 22, 2010 - finished PRIDE classes
waiting to begin homestudy sometime in the next two years. That's not a typo - TWO YEARS
Feb 2012 - got a call that they are ready to start our home study...putting off all adoption decisions for at least 6 months because I am 2 weeks from my due date (see below)

Feb 2011 - we've been offered donor embryos! FET in a few months after preliminary tests are done...
FET June 2011:
May 7 - start suprefact and low dose aspirin (on CD21)
May 14 - AF started - super heavy and I'm super cranky. Headaches from the suprefact too
May 21 - starting Estrace and both of us start antibiotics
June 3 - u/s to check lining
June 8 - FET
June 21 - Beta is 564. June 24 Beta is 2286
July 12 - first u/s at 7w1d
Aug 18 - second u/s at 12w4d - everything looks great
Aug 30 - first prenatal appt
Oct 6 - 20w anatomy scan, could find out the sex!
It's a BOY!!
EDD is Feb 26, 2012
beautiful healthy baby boy born March 1, 2012 <3

My friend ButterflyKiss provided this quote from Laura Bush's book and I think it captures how many of us feel:"The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence... for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?"

#50 capo

capo
  • Global 100+
  • 453 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Ontario
  • Dx:Other

Posted 01 April 2010 - 06:10 PM

That sounds really positive! Fingers crossed that she keeps your name on a sticky posted right on her phone! : )
Me-35, DH - 41
TTC since 2005 - high FSH/low ovarian reserve and endo
Ectopic pregnancy Dec 2006
3 cycles clomid (Ob Gyn) - BFN
TCART
2 IUIs (Letrosol) - BFN
3 IUIS (Menopur & Letrosol) - 1 chemical pg
OFC
IVF#1/ICSI Feb./Mar. 2009 (Puregon & Repronex) 6 retrieved, 5 fertilized, 2 embies 3dt - BFN
July 20 - Laparoscopy & laser for stage 2 endometriosis, tubes clear
Sept. 2009 - Approved for CAS adoption!!
Create
IVF#2/ICSI Dec. 2009 - natural cycle - BFN
IVF#3 planned for Feb. 2010, but life had better plans:
Jan. 2010 Nicholas is our CAS miracle! Our son is home and we are ecstatic!
April 2010 surprise natural BFP - Allyson was born December 31st 2010!

What a year - we are truly happy and beyond grateful!