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First appointment with my Specialist.

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Today hubby and i found out that one of my tubes might be blocked, we won't know until we do the actual test but my ultrasound showed some fluid in one of my tubes. I am not really sad as i had prepared myself for the worst but i am very happy that there is a chance it might not be or even if it is it might not be both of them. Anywho i wanted...

A quick update from me

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So I've been MIA for a couple of weeks, due to being really busy, spending time with family, going out of town, etc. Plus, I'm SO TIRED ALL THE TIME!

So here's a quick update on what's been going on!

I don't know if I ever posted my beta numbers, but my first beta (12p3dt) was 430, and the numbers doubled...

And the dreams start...

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Last night I had a dream that someone stole my Suprefact out of my fridge LOL!

So yesterday I saw my doctor, signed all the consents, started on my birth control, and got my protocol and injection training. Here's how it's going to break down:

Now- Oct.2: on BCP's
Sept.27: start Suprefact injects
Oct.4: back to the clinic for...

BFP and still more heartache!

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I am 7 weeks pregnant with a successful FET, I should be happy right? I had my first u/s last Wednesday and everything looked good, no issues. Wheew... I can relax... nope. I started spotting on Friday and I really tried to think positively and reasure myself that this is normal and not to worry about it. Then the color changed from light brown to...

Anyone seen my head? Last seen disappearing up my *rse.

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Still taking a break. Supposedly. Though I rather think DH is ready to move on (who can blame him) and I, well I'm still wondering when peace of mind is meant to replace angst, fear and vitriol.

It's not the baby thing, you see, I'm coping with that, more or less. It hurts to know I may never experience the joys of motherhood, but...

Just Shut It!

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I would probably sound like an evil bitch sister with this post. But here is my rambling for the day. My older sister is also pregnant and ahead of me by 9 weeks so she's due anytime soon. She lives abroad and I chat with her pretty much everyday online. My problem is she complains a lot about her damn pregnancy! This is her 3rd so...

Just another Manic Monday, wish it was Sunday....

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Just keeping in tune with songs as my titles.

So here we are cycling for FET#2. How do I feel? Scared out of my ****ing mind.

Refresh: FET#1, Spotting started the week after transfer. BETA was positive, then BETA was negative. SUCKED MONKEY BALLS. Hairy ones.

Since then my periods have been all spotting for a week before they are due, then 2...

Stop and smell the roses

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After spending the weekend camping with one of my best friends and her kids and my niece and stepson I am left reflecting and thinking about what kind of mother I would be.

I think I would be a good mother, and to most of you this would be a natural assumption about yourself and something you always "knew" but for me it comes much more...

We have a date!!!

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Woohoooooo!!!! I just heard from the nurse and my transfer is going to be on Tuesday September 7th. It could have been as early as Saturday but my Dr. is off on the weekend and I am not comfortable with the other Dr there (long story). I am so excited to have a date set in stone! :banana:

Alochol And Family

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As unfortunate as it is Alcholoisium is very heavy in my dad's side of the family and recently, on my mum's now too. My dad, uncle, grandpa, and great uncles were all acholocolics. That's one thing I don't have to worry about since we used a donar. That dd will inherit that trait. I used to think it was all environmental but...

Round 3... BFN

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D*** AF she always shows up when we donīt want her to. Needless to say I wasnīt surprised when the nurse called to say it was negative, still hurts like crazy. Not sure what the next steps will be. Earliest appointment we could get with the RE is the beginning of Oct. The only positive thing is that we have one snowbaby- d6 AC blast. So if we...

Infertility Fatigue Syndrome

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Ever felt like you were going crazy? :wacko: Maybe you are suffering from Infertility Fatigue Syndrome? That's my new self diagnosis. Here's a proposal for the next Diagnostic and Statistical Manual revision:

Infertility Fatigue Syndrome
Symptoms of IFS include a chronic intense sadness and fear coupled with episodes of hope and...

soooooooooo mad :((

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The receptionist girl called me this morning and told me that my RE will go to the U.S to attend a conference around Oct 16 when I am supposed to have my RE. She told me that I have to start BCP next Monday(which I don't want to do just for scheduling purpose) and my new ER date will be around Oct 30... She actually just called me 2 days ago...

Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics

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So here we are in Australia! I started writing this entry from my hotel room bed where I had a stunning view of Sydney Opera House and the harbour. We went at short notice, just for a week, because one of my oldest friends has had a recurrence of her breast cancer and I really wanted to visit her and support her through a round of chemo. ...

An Audience?

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It occured to me last night as I was replying to a text message from yet another friend asking about our "procedure", do we have an audience? It didn't start out with many people knowing. Two close friends knew who had either gone through a couple of miscarriages but ultimately conceived or knew someone close to them that had gone...

feel abandoned by non ivf friends

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I have a 'poor me' attitude today. I think it's from lack of sleep last night. I told two of my old college friends 2 months ago that we were starting ivf in August/September. I just realized they haven't asked me once about it and I haven't heard from them since our last dinner. Granted we are not as close as we were and we...

Grateful...

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It's been a year since I joined IVF.ca - wow what a year it's been. I wanted to take a moment to voice my appreciation and sense of being grateful.

- I have shared countless tears with many women on this site, who although I've never had the pleasure of meeting; never failed to lend an ear or a shoulder when I needed it.

-...

Our journey

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I was just reflecting today on all that's happened over the past years since we started trying to have children. Now I'm at a point where I accept this is the reality for us. It is not easy for us to have a child in any way we've tried.

Thirteen years ago I married my husband. We were both 21 and I was in university. I thought...

For those who often ask "Why?"

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Thoughts on Becoming a Mother:

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Maslow's hierarchy of needs has been revised

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I was driving to work yesterday and I heard on the radio that Maslow's hierarchy of needs pyramid has been revised. The top triangle, which used to be 'Self-Actualization', has been changed to 'Parenting'.

Hearing that, I was flooded with emotions and bad memories of the last few years, and right then and there I started to...
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