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Apprehension for my Third IVF/ICSI, 4th overall cycle
Posted by
nextchapter
,
02 April 2012
·
635 views
I can't believe I'm here!!! It's soo frusterating, disappointing, sad, oh soo shitty to bere here now. When I think about my IF journey I get upset, then I cry, then become hopeless, but then change it and become hopeful and then back to feeling all sad about it. I mean I've excepted we need ART to get pregnant. I haven't accepted that it's taking us this long and I'm afraid we'll be spending our life savings when this is all said and done.
In my last blog post I talked about what my RE wants to do with us..he calls us his frusterating case..I don't blame him..he must rack his brain as to why we haven't conceived yet. He decided to do some more blood testing for recurrent pregnancy loss which all turned out NORMAL...as I suspected. Now he wants to do a uterine lining biopsy which I also suspect will be NORMAL..and finally a hysterscopy to "jar things up" as he stated. He also wants to transfer 3 embryos.
Today I am on day 3 and will be starting my BCP. Here we go again. Lupron will come next in a few weeks and then off to probably 300 IU Gonal-F and 150 IU Menopur to make my follicles grow.
How many more cycles will we have to do? I have apprehension for this cycle because it's like "this is it"--I mean what more can my RE do? What more tests or procedures can my RE do? He did suggest a blood thinner after the transfer but I assume that is if we find some clotting issues, which as I mentioned in my post, I doubt he will find. My DH and I will continue to do cycle after cycle after cycle after cycle if it means renting a crappy 1 bedroom apartment, having no fur babies, staying in on the weekends, having one car instead of two, home cooking instead of restaurant food and saving instead of spending. We can do it and we have and we will continue to place ourselves in this situation so that we can have the family we want. It's hard because there's lots of women out that that have their own place, a support system online and offline, animals etc..and probably not making IVF their focus..But we aren't there yet. I'm not ready to settle. We ultimately want to move back to Ontario so we are ONLY staying in Vancouver for IVF. Down the road we will make the decision to live our life (if we can afford it) and move to Ontario and switch clinics but that will be much later..years later..
I don't want a pity party for me. We are all wanting the same thing and this is a great support system for us. I get encouraged when I see BFP's. I'm sure baby dust will come my way. I just need a big ol' net to catch it :-)
In my last blog post I talked about what my RE wants to do with us..he calls us his frusterating case..I don't blame him..he must rack his brain as to why we haven't conceived yet. He decided to do some more blood testing for recurrent pregnancy loss which all turned out NORMAL...as I suspected. Now he wants to do a uterine lining biopsy which I also suspect will be NORMAL..and finally a hysterscopy to "jar things up" as he stated. He also wants to transfer 3 embryos.
Today I am on day 3 and will be starting my BCP. Here we go again. Lupron will come next in a few weeks and then off to probably 300 IU Gonal-F and 150 IU Menopur to make my follicles grow.
How many more cycles will we have to do? I have apprehension for this cycle because it's like "this is it"--I mean what more can my RE do? What more tests or procedures can my RE do? He did suggest a blood thinner after the transfer but I assume that is if we find some clotting issues, which as I mentioned in my post, I doubt he will find. My DH and I will continue to do cycle after cycle after cycle after cycle if it means renting a crappy 1 bedroom apartment, having no fur babies, staying in on the weekends, having one car instead of two, home cooking instead of restaurant food and saving instead of spending. We can do it and we have and we will continue to place ourselves in this situation so that we can have the family we want. It's hard because there's lots of women out that that have their own place, a support system online and offline, animals etc..and probably not making IVF their focus..But we aren't there yet. I'm not ready to settle. We ultimately want to move back to Ontario so we are ONLY staying in Vancouver for IVF. Down the road we will make the decision to live our life (if we can afford it) and move to Ontario and switch clinics but that will be much later..years later..
I don't want a pity party for me. We are all wanting the same thing and this is a great support system for us. I get encouraged when I see BFP's. I'm sure baby dust will come my way. I just need a big ol' net to catch it :-)
