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nextchapter's Blog

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Apprehension for my Third IVF/ICSI, 4th overall cycle

Posted by nextchapter , 02 April 2012 · 641 views

I can't believe I'm here!!! It's soo frusterating, disappointing, sad, oh soo shitty to bere here now. When I think about my IF journey I get upset, then I cry, then become hopeless, but then change it and become hopeful and then back to feeling all sad about it. I mean I've excepted we need ART to get pregnant. I haven't a...

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On this Family Day...a date with my RE...how befitting

Posted by nextchapter , 20 February 2012 · 341 views

So me and DH had a follow up appointment to my failed FET (this is after two fresh cycles, one resulting in a positive but I m/c at 7 weeks) with my RE on Family Day!He's told us once and he told us again, we should've been pregnant. We have put a total of 6 eggs in an no live birth came from it. He also mentioned that because I had a "sti...

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FET is done..now what?

Posted by nextchapter , 22 January 2012 · 308 views

I feel very unsure now. I had my FET on Friday and now we just wait. DH is already asking me what are we going to do if this fails. I can't even go there right now. I need all my energy in this cycle and not the next cycle.Another doctor did my FET, not my RE. It's unfortunate, I'm not superstitious but my RE did my last ET and I got a BFP, bu...

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Biting my tongue during the holidays

Posted by nextchapter , 14 December 2011 · 196 views

The holiday season is in full effect and next week I will be seeing and staying with the in-laws. I usually enjoy my time there but the MIL has secret tactics to extract information from me or DH and it's oh soo hard not to say anything. My MIL often judges people and judges us A LOT! She is highly passive aggressive and gets snarky after a few da...

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Another Chance for a BFP

Posted by nextchapter , 01 December 2011 · 230 views

It's wonderful to think that I have another chance for a BFP. We will be doing a FET in January and I am looking forward to the possibility of being pregnant again. After my m/c we decided to try a natrual BDing cycle, but no such luck. With some time after my m/c I feel I am ready to do it again.My DH and I have a plan. Right now, we are renting a 1...

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On the eve of my HPT for my natural cycle

Posted by nextchapter , 23 November 2011 · 182 views

So ladies, I will be taking a HPT Thursday morning- 13dpo. This is a natural cycle after my miscarriage and although my DH has statistically calculated we have less than a 4% chance of naturally conceiving, I cannot give up hope. I have no head aches or PMS symptoms before my period which is a good sign don't ya think? Usually I get head aches and my...

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I couldn't keep baby alive

Posted by nextchapter , 26 October 2011 · 189 views

Whenever I feel down or just need to process things I always listen to Tori Amos. I'm lucky that I will see her this December in Vancouver. One of her songs, "Spark" is talks about her miscarriage and the one line that always gets me is"She's convinced she could hold back a glacier,But she couldn't keep Baby aliveDoubting if there...

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Two days before Beta, one day before HPT.....

Posted by nextchapter , 26 September 2011 · 531 views

So here I sit, waiting for something that could change the rest of my life...a positive that I'm pregnant...I'm scared, hopeful, doubtful, worried, anxious, wondering, imagining, wanting, and wishing. I told myself I wasn't going to take a HPT today (two days before my beta) but I bought a double pack HPT anyways. Tomorrow is the answer and I'm petrified...

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Time to Wait...and be Optimistic

Posted by nextchapter , 19 September 2011 · 149 views

Today was my ET day! I was super excited when they told me that my quality of eggs increased from last cycle. They put in a 2AB and a 2B+ in and I may have some frosties! I asked the embryologist about the B+ and she said she couldn't decide if it was a B or A!! how great is that?I feel super optimistic this time around. The first time...

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Is this a sign?

Posted by nextchapter , 11 September 2011 · 178 views

I haven't been on the forum much since I started back at work. I am a Special Education Assistant at an elementary school so this first week has been super hectic. To top it all off, I had to go to PCRM 2x before work which meant waking up at 5:30 AM to make it at 7 to be one of the first for 7:30 and to make it to work by 8:30! Needless to say I...

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