IVF.ca Forums: Better Day (My 39th Bday too) - IVF.ca Forums

If youd have told me a week ago today that I was gonna have a pretty decent day I wouldve never believed you!! I checked my sugar last night before I went to bed and it was sky freakin high. I had my husband give in an insulin shot and then I went to bed. While laying in bed, I remembered my doctor telling me that my reason to check my sugar was right in front of me, which also reminded me that I need to continue to take my prenatal vitamins and such. I got right up out of bed and took them. The phone rang this morning at 9:15 and it was a dear friend from work wishing me a happy bday and to tell me how sorry he was to hear of our loss. That I should take my time coming back to work and DH and I need to take care of each other right now. Of course, I started to cry and tell him how much we wanted that baby, and he said he knew we did and he wanted that baby for us as well. I had planned to lay in bed all day and just mope and cry. My DH forced me out of bed and got me to get a shower and get dressed. While in the kitchen, I noticed the script for zoloft and thought "why the hell not"!! I took my "vitamin z" (what I call my zoloft). Got showered dressed and ready to go. We went to the bank, we had a very nice lunch, we went to the store and I bought some new outfits. I dont want to wear my maternity stuff and Ive gained some weight and cant wear my "skinny" clothes. DH didnt even seem to care how much it cost. I got 2 tops, 2 tanks, a skirt and pair of capris. Then we went and he dropped me off for my hair appt. My hair dresser knows about what happened and she allowed me to talk about it and listened carefully with tears in her eyes. She has had a little pin on her mirror with tiny baby feet. What baby feet would look like at 10 weeks. I was explaining to her what all the hospital did and she got that pin and gave it to me with tears in her eyes and said it really sux rhonni but you will heal in time. She was so caring. I must say my hair does look fabulous!!! When she was finished with my hair, I went to the restroom and when I came out my DH was holding flowers from my hairdresser for me. I blew her a kiss. It was very close to time for my jazzercise class to be over and I decided that I should stop by there and make an appearance. Ive heard from a few of the girls but not alot of them and I know they have been worried sick and just not sure what to say to me. I walked in and all the ladies were on the floor with their booties in the air and I clapped my hands and yelled "thats just what I want to see booties in the air"!! I walked around and smacked everyone on the booty. They all got up and hugged me. Some even cried. After class they came up to me and thanked me for coming by and apologized for not getting in touch with me because they just didnt know what to say. I grabbed each one of those women and said just say your sorry and give me a big fat hug!!! And that is exactly what they did. Some of us cried and some us laughed. Afterthat I drove out to my sisters and played with my nephews. My 4 year old nephew drew me a picture of a rainbow with me on one side of the rainbow and my baby up above the rainbow. He said, "Aunt Rhonni Rone, this is your baby in heaven". All in all, it was a really good day even thought I am still sad. My DH and I are going to plant a tree this weekend in memory of our sweet George Spencer. Sometime around mothers day I am going to purchase a gold locket and have my baby's handprints put into the locket to wear and keep with me forever.
I hope I have more days like this. I hope I can grow from this. I hope there is a really good reason that this has happened to us-although I sure cant think of one now.

You ladies are so brave and courageous. I hope that in time I can be of support and help to others that experience the tragedy of losing a child. I admire all of you so very much.









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