IVF.ca Forums: Im Hurting!! - IVF.ca Forums

This has got to be the single most painful thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. I would never thought that Heavenly Father would be so cruel to me!! To give us that baby that we have longed for and waited for for so long and then to tragically take him away from us. I dont think I will ever get over it. My mom stayed with me for most the day yesterday. My plans were to just sit around and stare and cry most of the day. My sis and BIL came by to pick up and return the baby furniture for us. Its all so sad. I keep waiting to wake up from this awful nightmare. Everytime the doorbell rings I just cringe. Its another florist with a delivery. I read the card and then have a break down. We cant keep the flowers in the house because my DH has terrible allergies so they are all sittin out on the front porch. A couple of my neighbors know what has happened but Im sure the new neighbors dont. Then the mail came yesterday. I was scared to go get it. There must have been about 15 cards of encouragement, sympathy and support. I think I cried for an hour readin the cards. My mom finally got me to get dressed. When I tried to get dressed, none of my regular clothes fit and I had to put on some maternity pants. I felt like such an ass to be wearing maternity clothes and not even being preg anymore. We went to staples and make copies of the hand print certificate that I got from the hospital and little baby George Spencer's pictures that the nurse had taken for me. My mom wanted copies of those things so that she could put them in her bible next to my sweet paw paw's picture who passed away 6 years ago. My sister asked me if I could do temple work for my baby and I told her that I didnt think I had too. This baby went right back to Heavenly Father that is for sure. I had a terrible meltdown last night while finishing the laundry. My mom was with me most of te day and then my sis came to take over until DH got home. I almost collapsed in his arms. My glasses are constantly stained with tears. I just dont know how or if I will ever recover from this tragic loss. Please if you are reading this, pray for me as I am not able to pray for myself right now.