IVF.ca Forums: March 24,2005 - IVF.ca Forums

Sigh...Just waiting for my period to start. I figure Ill start either this weekend or early next week. Then I will start on birth control. I think alot about whether this will work. My husband doesnt say much except that he wants us to have a baby. I wish I knew what was going thru his mind. I encourage him to be open with me about his feelings. I think he will be fine if it works and he will be fine if it doesnt work. One thing I learned while I was in recovery from Alcohol and drugs is that to never say you are fine. Fine stands for &#%!ed-Up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotionally Unstable. Im sure he will be ok either way. I think he worries about me and how I will handle things. I get edgy real quick when I dont see things moving fast enough or in the direction I want them to go. My sister says I should pray about this, but every time I try to my heart shuts down and I cannot find the words. Im afraid to pray about this. Im afraid I will get what I ask for and I am afraid that I wont get what I ask for. How screwed up is that? Sometimes I just say "please, help me" and other times I just say "thanks". That is about all I can come up with. My husband goes tomorrow to give his "sample". My nurse told me that they have a special room just for the men with videos and books and such. She said that the men enjoy it so much that they have a hard time getting them out of there. The last time he had to do this they put him in a single bathroom. My thoughts get away from me so fast sometimes, its hard to keep them under control and worry about one thing at a time. There is alot of crap going on at work. We are implementing a new system and it is a mess already. My sister is very excited. My mom is being mean to my sister right now and I cant stand that they are not getting along. It is really bothering me. I want them to get along so we can talk about this with each other and go thru it together. That is where I am at today. Just waiting on my period.