Hubbyman has not been the same since he returned from Ontario helping to take care of his sick father. Now his feet are steadily getting worse and we need to address his diabetes which he has refused to even since coming back and seeing how his father's sxs through this disease displayed on his body. The whole time hubbyman was in Ontario he kept a very stiff upper lip and showed no emotion during this very emotionally draining time of discovering his father may not make it through his battle with lung cancer. Now his body is manifesting that stress and he is not doing good. Lethargy has become a sxs displayed in him even after a good night's sleep. His lack of energy and drive at work is evidenced nightly when we are at work. Thankfully we have a boss who truly likes us and knows that before FIL's illness that hubbyman was hardly ever off work. She has arranged that for the next 16 weeks, should he need it, he can work just 2 nights a week and not lose his full-time status and benefits. What a huge relief that is for him and for me. I wanted to ask hubbyman if he would like to take some time off work while we were having lunch at work on Saturday night. He started crying, realising that what I requested is what he wanted however, couldn't get himself to talk with me about it as he has been feeling like he has been letting me down along with work since his production levels have dropped. Um. hello! Your father has been diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer and is getting weaker and weaker even though he is at home, how do you not expect that NOT to effect you? I love that man. I hate seeing him in pain. It's been painful watching him at work walking like an old man hobbling almost. He has changed so much since his trip to his parents.
At this time I want my hubbyman healthy and well, I couldn't imagine having our baby with his health being the way it is now. Perhaps 2011 isn't such a bad deal afterall? Funny how that truly bothered me when he came back since finances have been effected. Now I am able, even with him out of working full-time, to put aside a little to the BF! This pleases me no end. I guess in a way these roadblocks in our path to parenthood came to teach us patience? I don't know. I am in a better place right now with waiting.
In FIL news, sadly he is not doing good. We both had a chance to talk with him and he is sounding pretty weak and very tired. We are sad that he may be giving up. He is having a hard time being home and being frustrated with all the meds he must take along with not being able to go out since the weather was quite bad (I hope he has since had a chance to step out into the sunshine in his wheelchair) We called yesterday morning to wish Mum a blessed Mother's Day, she stated that Dad is not doing good and that the nurse had to call the Dr in to see him, since his heart rate is too fast :( I woke up about a few hours ago and SIL has left 5 messages. I am so scared. She never calls so I am worried when hubbyman has to return her call later this morning :( I hope it is nothing...
At this time I want my hubbyman healthy and well, I couldn't imagine having our baby with his health being the way it is now. Perhaps 2011 isn't such a bad deal afterall? Funny how that truly bothered me when he came back since finances have been effected. Now I am able, even with him out of working full-time, to put aside a little to the BF! This pleases me no end. I guess in a way these roadblocks in our path to parenthood came to teach us patience? I don't know. I am in a better place right now with waiting.
In FIL news, sadly he is not doing good. We both had a chance to talk with him and he is sounding pretty weak and very tired. We are sad that he may be giving up. He is having a hard time being home and being frustrated with all the meds he must take along with not being able to go out since the weather was quite bad (I hope he has since had a chance to step out into the sunshine in his wheelchair) We called yesterday morning to wish Mum a blessed Mother's Day, she stated that Dad is not doing good and that the nurse had to call the Dr in to see him, since his heart rate is too fast :( I woke up about a few hours ago and SIL has left 5 messages. I am so scared. She never calls so I am worried when hubbyman has to return her call later this morning :( I hope it is nothing...
7 Comments On This Entry
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capo
10 May 2010 - 07:18 AM
No words seems quite appropriate. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Big hugs to you. (((hugs)))
gibasgirl
10 May 2010 - 08:33 AM
You are in my prayers Vanessa.
I've been there. My BIL had lung cancer and when a dear loved one suffers, everyone suffers. I will pray for your continued strength because your husband will need that srength from you more than ever.
If you need to talk you can PM me.
Zan
I've been there. My BIL had lung cancer and when a dear loved one suffers, everyone suffers. I will pray for your continued strength because your husband will need that srength from you more than ever.
If you need to talk you can PM me.
Zan
jrhansen
10 May 2010 - 09:28 AM
My prayers are with you too. It's never easy in body or mind to lose a parent to cancer. These days are the most trying that life will throw at you, and it sounds like DH is doing as well as possible. It sounds like you are giving him strength when he can't find any -- what a blessing.
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