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One of the many options we are looking into is using my sister as a gestational surrogate. She is all for it but was waiting to talk about it more after we saw our doctor. We had that appt yesterday so we talked to my sister about it more last night and I didn't realize but she hadn't mentioned a word to her husband yet. She wanted to wait to see if this was really going to happen before she brought it up to him.
We talked a lot last night (me, DH & my sister - her hubby was home with the kids) and went over a lot of the issues that were brought up on a thread I posted here yesterday. She was OK with it all and while she understood the risks, she was quite excited to be able to help. We talked about lots of stuff like she just wants one embryo transferred, she is ok with DH at u/s but neither of them are comfortable with him in the delivery, etc. We are all on the same page about everything we talked about.
She called me first thing this morning though to tell me her DH wasn't warming up to the idea at all. She said he wasn't comfortable with it and she didn't know if that would change. She asked him to give it some thought and they would talk about it again and he said he would. I assured her last night and again this morning that if they aren't comfortable with this, they were not taking away our last option but why does it feel like that now?
I don't know if there is something in particular that he is uncomfortable with or if the whole concept is just too weird for him. He's a really great guy and this is a lot to take in out of the blue so I can understand that he isn't on side with it but I wonder if he'll come around?
DH said the same thing as me - it's their decision and we can't push it. I spoke to him a couple hours later and he suggested we talk to my cousin who is in her 20's and done having children. Funny how yesterday this was just one option but now that it might be taken away, we are struggling to keep it on the table. I think we both saw it as the last chance for a biological baby.
I know the dr said we could put the embryos back in me but we really feel like we need to do something different to give it the best chance. I'm not sure we'll do anothe IVF if we don't have a gestational carrier.
I feel like I'm turning in circles in the dark reaching out for something that may not be there.
We talked a lot last night (me, DH & my sister - her hubby was home with the kids) and went over a lot of the issues that were brought up on a thread I posted here yesterday. She was OK with it all and while she understood the risks, she was quite excited to be able to help. We talked about lots of stuff like she just wants one embryo transferred, she is ok with DH at u/s but neither of them are comfortable with him in the delivery, etc. We are all on the same page about everything we talked about.
She called me first thing this morning though to tell me her DH wasn't warming up to the idea at all. She said he wasn't comfortable with it and she didn't know if that would change. She asked him to give it some thought and they would talk about it again and he said he would. I assured her last night and again this morning that if they aren't comfortable with this, they were not taking away our last option but why does it feel like that now?
I don't know if there is something in particular that he is uncomfortable with or if the whole concept is just too weird for him. He's a really great guy and this is a lot to take in out of the blue so I can understand that he isn't on side with it but I wonder if he'll come around?
DH said the same thing as me - it's their decision and we can't push it. I spoke to him a couple hours later and he suggested we talk to my cousin who is in her 20's and done having children. Funny how yesterday this was just one option but now that it might be taken away, we are struggling to keep it on the table. I think we both saw it as the last chance for a biological baby.
I know the dr said we could put the embryos back in me but we really feel like we need to do something different to give it the best chance. I'm not sure we'll do anothe IVF if we don't have a gestational carrier.
I feel like I'm turning in circles in the dark reaching out for something that may not be there.
10 Comments On This Entry
Page 1 of 1
mouse
04 February 2010 - 09:18 AM
((MG)) so sorry the path is convoluted and bumpy for you. It's such a big decision (and a giant gift) and I don't wonder that your BiL needs some time to process things. Good on you for taking the time to carefully think and talk about expectations and so on - so much better to get things sorted now than have trouble later on. Fingers crossed you are able to find a way through that is comfortable for you all.
DiXie
04 February 2010 - 09:24 AM
It's just little bump in the road, I am sure a solution will present it self 
either with your cousin or your sister's DH warming up
((HUGS))
either with your cousin or your sister's DH warming up ((HUGS))
kerrilyn
04 February 2010 - 09:28 AM
Oh Mollygirl I feel for you. It's funny that my best friend and I have "jokingly" talked about her being a GC for us for about a year now, but now that it's becoming a real possibilty so many other things need to come into play. She too has to have a discussion with her hubby about it so we will see where his head is at on the idea over the next couple of weeks or so. We seem very much alike in this part of our journey trying to open as many doors as possible so we have options waiting for us. I am also lucky that my brother and his wife have generously offered to be a GC for us as well but with them living 2 hours away I am hesitant, but I am very greatful for the offer and feel blessed to have another door open for us. GOOD LUCK! I hope all your dreams come true! 
mollygirl21
04 February 2010 - 09:43 AM
Thanks girls. I just talked to my sister some more and she really thinks this door is closed. She said the idea was so foreign to her DH that he just couldn't get his head around it. He was astounded that she would even consider it!
She told me though that my cousin has told her in the past that she would be willing to be a gc for us. Again though, it's one thing to say it and quite another to actually act on the offer. And I have no idea what her DH would say about it.
KL - we do seem to be in very similar places. Are we desperate to be seeking all options or just smart? I'm going with smart and openminded.
She told me though that my cousin has told her in the past that she would be willing to be a gc for us. Again though, it's one thing to say it and quite another to actually act on the offer. And I have no idea what her DH would say about it.
KL - we do seem to be in very similar places. Are we desperate to be seeking all options or just smart? I'm going with smart and openminded.
HugsALot
04 February 2010 - 10:46 AM
I have often thought about being a GC for one of you wonderful woman. When i mentioned it to my DH he brought up things I had never thought of. Ideas such as... what would I do if I got pregnant with twins? How could I possibly go on bedrest and take care of the family i have? What would I do if there were complications in child birth.
I have the utmost respect for the woman that do this. The pain alone of child birth would put most off.
I wish you the best of luck and I am sure a solution will present itself as you look through all teh options!
xoxoxox
I have the utmost respect for the woman that do this. The pain alone of child birth would put most off.
I wish you the best of luck and I am sure a solution will present itself as you look through all teh options!
xoxoxox
babatime
04 February 2010 - 12:57 PM
I third that MG and KL are very smart to explore all options.
Hugs to both of you.
Hugs to both of you.
Guest
04 February 2010 - 01:02 PM
Just another thought, sometimes people who use a gestational carrier for will also implant embryos in themselves, especially if there is no proven reason not to. THis way chances are increased and all the embryos that survive have a chance to implant fresh. You would implant the best ones in the womb you felt would have the best chance, and then some in the other womb. I wish you luck on this journey. Just wanting to throw out this idea to maximize your chances.
Carey
Carey
capo
04 February 2010 - 11:07 PM
MG I think it's awesome that you are exploring so many options! This door may or may not be closed, but by exploring it you've opened yourselves up to other options like your cousin and those discussions will in turn present other ideas. Being open-minded means that you will not miss an opportunity. Hang in there! 
Page 1 of 1
PUPO Journal
Transferred 3 embryos on Saturday June 27, 2009.
3dt: June 27 - ER in the morning, slept for the afternoon and went to the Bon Jovi concert in Moncton that night!
1dp3dt: June 28 - relaxed, was nauseous from the Dostinex
2dp3dt: June 29 - back to work first day since ER. Still nauseous, exhausted (slept 12 hours last night) and a bit crampy.
3dp3dt: June 30 - nauseous, tired. Went to chiropractor for my neck and arm.
5dp3dt: July 2 - nausea is gone, neck still hurts, went to massage today. Slight cramps.
8dp3dt: July 5 - still crampy, woke up with heavy/tight feeling in lower abdomen, starting to breakout on my face
10dp3dt: July 7 - bbs not as sore, cramps have subsided somewhat
11dp3dt: July 8 - woke up with AF like cramps - much stronger than the cramps I've felt all along. Today is 11dp3dt.
12dp3dt: July 9 - not much cramping. Feeling good today 12dp3dt
13dp3dt: July 10 - BFP! Beta 164
20dp3dt: July 17 - beta 1440
3dt: June 27 - ER in the morning, slept for the afternoon and went to the Bon Jovi concert in Moncton that night!
1dp3dt: June 28 - relaxed, was nauseous from the Dostinex
2dp3dt: June 29 - back to work first day since ER. Still nauseous, exhausted (slept 12 hours last night) and a bit crampy.
3dp3dt: June 30 - nauseous, tired. Went to chiropractor for my neck and arm.
5dp3dt: July 2 - nausea is gone, neck still hurts, went to massage today. Slight cramps.
8dp3dt: July 5 - still crampy, woke up with heavy/tight feeling in lower abdomen, starting to breakout on my face
10dp3dt: July 7 - bbs not as sore, cramps have subsided somewhat
11dp3dt: July 8 - woke up with AF like cramps - much stronger than the cramps I've felt all along. Today is 11dp3dt.
12dp3dt: July 9 - not much cramping. Feeling good today 12dp3dt
13dp3dt: July 10 - BFP! Beta 164
20dp3dt: July 17 - beta 1440
IVF#2 Important Dates
May 6, 2009 - CD1
May 15 - uterine biopsy #1 - CD9
May 19 - uterine biopsy #2 - CD13
May 26 - start Suprefact
May 27 - uterine biopsy #3 - CD22
June 3 - AF started
June 10 - down regulation check
June 11 - start injections 375 Bravelle, 75 Repronex
June 12 - both start antibiotics
June 15 - b/w E2 800
June 18 - b/w & u/s E2 5000, 28-34 follicles
June 19 - b/w E2 9000
June 20 - b/w & u/s E2 15,000
June 21 - b/w E2 23,000
June 22 - b/w &u/s, E2 32,000, trigger tonight
June 24 - ER, 23 eggs
June 25 - 15/23 eggs fertilized
June 26 - only 4 viable embryos
June 27 - transferred 3: two 8 cell grade 18, one 6 cell grade 17
July 10 - beta
May 15 - uterine biopsy #1 - CD9
May 19 - uterine biopsy #2 - CD13
May 26 - start Suprefact
May 27 - uterine biopsy #3 - CD22
June 3 - AF started
June 10 - down regulation check
June 11 - start injections 375 Bravelle, 75 Repronex
June 12 - both start antibiotics
June 15 - b/w E2 800
June 18 - b/w & u/s E2 5000, 28-34 follicles
June 19 - b/w E2 9000
June 20 - b/w & u/s E2 15,000
June 21 - b/w E2 23,000
June 22 - b/w &u/s, E2 32,000, trigger tonight
June 24 - ER, 23 eggs
June 25 - 15/23 eggs fertilized
June 26 - only 4 viable embryos
June 27 - transferred 3: two 8 cell grade 18, one 6 cell grade 17
July 10 - beta
IVF#2 Journal
Leading up to IVF#2 - I had 3 uterine biopsies and I think they did something because my period was heavier and longer than ever. It lasted a full 7 days and was heavy for 2 of those. My lining was definitely affected by the biopsies. I have felt very optimistic and hopeful that this will work this time and even if it doesn't I know I will survive. Physically feeling great, no side effects other than a couple hot flashes from the suprefact.
June 10 - Down Regulation check today. Uterine lining very thin, ovaries nice and quiet - the follicles were very small so she was only able to count 5 or 6 on my right, didn't mention how many on the left. She said more will reveal themselves as they get bigger. As usual, it was difficult to see my uterus and left ovary and it took her some time with the wand. Feeling good!
Day 1: June 11 - first injection tonight. Mentally and emotionally still feeling good but physically I'm feeling awful - headache, crampy, gassy, bloated and my hands are icy cold and aching. They started hurting yesterday and got worse today and now they are cold unless they are tucked in under my legs. Injection hurt just like I remember, the pharmicist tells me it's the repronex.
Day 2: June 12 - started antibiotics this morning. The bottle said to take with food but I was late so I skipped breakfast. I felt very sick by the time I got to work, lesson learned. Feeling better today (other than that little episode). Had a little dark brown discharge tonight. Got a great new haircut last night, feeling great!
Day 3: June 13 - Day 3 of injections, nothing to report except that I've developed a few very large pimples. Going shopping today with mil and gmil.
Day 4: June 14 - day 4 and DH hit a vein tonight. Not too bad, just a bit more painful. I don't look when he injects me but he said tonight when I flexed from the pain, it pushed the needle right out! Luckily the medicine was already injected. Feels fine now. I think I have a touch of food poisoning, had some undercooked chicken for supper.
Day 5: June 15 - had my bloodwork done this morning to check my estrogen levels and everything looks good, the nurse said I am responding very well to this dose. This is when they had to increase the dose last time. My level last time was 480 at this point but today I am over 800. Next check up is Thurs for b/w and u/s. Feeling a little bloated and gassy today, still energized and positive though.
Day 7: June 17 - I'm starting to notice my ovaries (could be gas too). I'm a bit bloated and the injection sites are irritated. I feel best in my sweats. Lots of ewcm started today. I'm tired, I find I don't sleep well on the drugs.
Day 8: June 18 - day 8 u/s this morning, uterine lining on track (around 7mm) and 18-22 follicles on right, 10-12 on left (could be more, it hides). All follicles measuring around 10mm. Estrogen level is around 5000. Woohooo!
Day 9: June 19 - day 9 b/w - Estrogen has shot up to 9000. Lowering my dose to 225 bravelle and 75 repronex.June 20 - Estrogen up to 15,000, still lots of follicles measuring 12 - 15 mm, lining 9.5. Lowered dose again to 150 bravelle plus 75 repronex
Day 11: June 21 - E2 23,000, no injection tonight, hope to trigger tomorrow.
Day 12: June 22 - u/s showed 15 -18 follicles on each side, measuring 17-20mms. Trigger tonight, ER Wed June 24. E2 level is 32,000 so I'm at high risk for OHSS but we decided to go for it
Day 13: June 23 - no needles, no tests today. I'm tired, grumpy, nauseous, bbs are sore. ER is tomorrow
Day 14 ER day: June 24 - ER went well, 23 eggs. June 25 - 15/23 eggs fertilized. I'm sore and a bit bloated plus nauseous from dostinex. no sign of OHSS though
Day 16: June 26 - devastating day - only 4 look to be viable, others are severely fragmented. Need to decide on 3day or 5 day tranfser. Leaning toward 5 day. Will meet with dr on day 3 to decide. Best ones are a 4 cell and a 2 cell.
Day 17 3dt: June 27 - met with dr, decided on 3 day transfer. 2 of the embryos took off over night and have become "beautiful" 8 cell embies, graded 18/20 with less than 10% fragmentation. Transferred those plus a 6 cell grade 17 with little fragmentation.
June 10 - Down Regulation check today. Uterine lining very thin, ovaries nice and quiet - the follicles were very small so she was only able to count 5 or 6 on my right, didn't mention how many on the left. She said more will reveal themselves as they get bigger. As usual, it was difficult to see my uterus and left ovary and it took her some time with the wand. Feeling good!
Day 1: June 11 - first injection tonight. Mentally and emotionally still feeling good but physically I'm feeling awful - headache, crampy, gassy, bloated and my hands are icy cold and aching. They started hurting yesterday and got worse today and now they are cold unless they are tucked in under my legs. Injection hurt just like I remember, the pharmicist tells me it's the repronex.
Day 2: June 12 - started antibiotics this morning. The bottle said to take with food but I was late so I skipped breakfast. I felt very sick by the time I got to work, lesson learned. Feeling better today (other than that little episode). Had a little dark brown discharge tonight. Got a great new haircut last night, feeling great!
Day 3: June 13 - Day 3 of injections, nothing to report except that I've developed a few very large pimples. Going shopping today with mil and gmil.
Day 4: June 14 - day 4 and DH hit a vein tonight. Not too bad, just a bit more painful. I don't look when he injects me but he said tonight when I flexed from the pain, it pushed the needle right out! Luckily the medicine was already injected. Feels fine now. I think I have a touch of food poisoning, had some undercooked chicken for supper.
Day 5: June 15 - had my bloodwork done this morning to check my estrogen levels and everything looks good, the nurse said I am responding very well to this dose. This is when they had to increase the dose last time. My level last time was 480 at this point but today I am over 800. Next check up is Thurs for b/w and u/s. Feeling a little bloated and gassy today, still energized and positive though.
Day 7: June 17 - I'm starting to notice my ovaries (could be gas too). I'm a bit bloated and the injection sites are irritated. I feel best in my sweats. Lots of ewcm started today. I'm tired, I find I don't sleep well on the drugs.
Day 8: June 18 - day 8 u/s this morning, uterine lining on track (around 7mm) and 18-22 follicles on right, 10-12 on left (could be more, it hides). All follicles measuring around 10mm. Estrogen level is around 5000. Woohooo!
Day 9: June 19 - day 9 b/w - Estrogen has shot up to 9000. Lowering my dose to 225 bravelle and 75 repronex.June 20 - Estrogen up to 15,000, still lots of follicles measuring 12 - 15 mm, lining 9.5. Lowered dose again to 150 bravelle plus 75 repronex
Day 11: June 21 - E2 23,000, no injection tonight, hope to trigger tomorrow.
Day 12: June 22 - u/s showed 15 -18 follicles on each side, measuring 17-20mms. Trigger tonight, ER Wed June 24. E2 level is 32,000 so I'm at high risk for OHSS but we decided to go for it
Day 13: June 23 - no needles, no tests today. I'm tired, grumpy, nauseous, bbs are sore. ER is tomorrow
Day 14 ER day: June 24 - ER went well, 23 eggs. June 25 - 15/23 eggs fertilized. I'm sore and a bit bloated plus nauseous from dostinex. no sign of OHSS though
Day 16: June 26 - devastating day - only 4 look to be viable, others are severely fragmented. Need to decide on 3day or 5 day tranfser. Leaning toward 5 day. Will meet with dr on day 3 to decide. Best ones are a 4 cell and a 2 cell.
Day 17 3dt: June 27 - met with dr, decided on 3 day transfer. 2 of the embryos took off over night and have become "beautiful" 8 cell embies, graded 18/20 with less than 10% fragmentation. Transferred those plus a 6 cell grade 17 with little fragmentation.
Note to Self:
Read and re-read while PUPO:Enjoy this time of not knowing. Keep hope close to you and do not poas. It will be inconclusive. The best way to spend these 2 weeks is imagining pregnancy and motherhood. Imagine that this has worked and you will soon know for sure - we are pregnant!Keep hope alive until the very last minute, until you go for your beta and know for sure. Keep the dream alive, keep the fantasy alive. Do not give in to your thoughts of poas. Wait for the beta and keep hoping and dreaming.Love, Yourself in saner moments
Favourite Sayings
After climbing a great hill, one only finds there are more hills to climb.I have taken a moment here to rest,to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me and to look back on the distance I have come.But I dare not linger and can only rest a moment,for my long walk has not ended. -Nelson Mandela
It's kind of fun to do the impossible. -Walt Disney
If you live expecting the worst then you will experience even if it doesn't happen and if it does happen, you will have lived it twice. - Michael J Fox
It's kind of fun to do the impossible. -Walt Disney
If you live expecting the worst then you will experience even if it doesn't happen and if it does happen, you will have lived it twice. - Michael J Fox
A little about me
Clinic: AART, Halifax
Treatment History:
began July 2008
Clomid
IUI with ovarian stim
IVF #1 - BFN
IVF #2 - BFP
M/C at 13 weeks on Sept 8, 2009
Feb 2010 - started adoption classes
Mar 2010 - started seeing Naturopath
Mar 2010 - finished PRIDE classes
we're adopting!
Treatment History:
began July 2008
Clomid
IUI with ovarian stim
IVF #1 - BFN
IVF #2 - BFP
M/C at 13 weeks on Sept 8, 2009
Feb 2010 - started adoption classes
Mar 2010 - started seeing Naturopath
Mar 2010 - finished PRIDE classes
we're adopting!
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IVF #2 $$$$
Paid clinic $5,250
Suprefact $35
Repronex (7days) $453
Antibiotics $7Bravelle (7days) $2143
Bravelle (1 day) $315
Repronex (1 day) $74
Bravelle (1 day) $193
Repronex (1 day) $74
Bravelle (1 day) $132
Repronex (1 day) $74
Suprefact $19
HCG Trigger $89
Total so far: $8,858
Suprefact $35
Repronex (7days) $453
Antibiotics $7Bravelle (7days) $2143
Bravelle (1 day) $315
Repronex (1 day) $74
Bravelle (1 day) $193
Repronex (1 day) $74
Bravelle (1 day) $132
Repronex (1 day) $74
Suprefact $19
HCG Trigger $89
Total so far: $8,858
IVF#1
CD1 - January 1, 2009
Jan 21 - started suprefact nasal spray
Feb 4 - down regulation check, good to go
Feb 5 - started injectibles started with 225 units Bravelle increased to 375 untis on day 5 75 units Repronex
Feb 6 - DH and I both started antibiotics
Feb 19 - Egg Retrieval resulted in 7 eggs 5 eggs fertilized
Feb 22 - Day 3 transfer: one 8 cell grade 17 embryo two 6 cell grade 16 embryosBeta scheduled for Friday Mar 6
March 6 - AF arrived, BFN
Jan 21 - started suprefact nasal spray
Feb 4 - down regulation check, good to go
Feb 5 - started injectibles started with 225 units Bravelle increased to 375 untis on day 5 75 units Repronex
Feb 6 - DH and I both started antibiotics
Feb 19 - Egg Retrieval resulted in 7 eggs 5 eggs fertilized
Feb 22 - Day 3 transfer: one 8 cell grade 17 embryo two 6 cell grade 16 embryosBeta scheduled for Friday Mar 6
March 6 - AF arrived, BFN
