"Get Her Booked."
I get someone to help me sort our my clothes, tidy my closet and separate my winter and summer clothes. I have to leave. I'm packing a hand luggage. I will not tell my partner and I don't want him to know my intention. He'll ask me to stay. But I cannot spend Christmas grieving. I need a long time to think before I reach my destination. I will take the train to somewhere far. Arizona. Some vitamin D will be a good fix for my new depressive moods. And my friend says I can come there.
Friday is the day. After he leaves for work. But I cannot even conceive of what will happen after I leave. We do everything together. How can I face the world alone? So I cry and after work I say to my partner, "Let's have a talk."
I discuss how scared and sad I am, how I need him to help me get through this, and how important it is for us and the promises we made to each other.
My partner says yes. He's in again. He says he means it and he will not break our promise again. I don't want to think that he could change his mind again. I try to think of good things.
The next morning he awakes and asks me what he needs to do to make the baby happen. I have to convince myself that I'm hearing his voice. I say Angel needs to get a sonohysterogram. He says when. I say soon. He says, "Get her booked."
- gibasgirl and annatarz79 like this