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Flying On An Angel's Wings


Then End of This Cycle: IVF Fauilure Again

Posted by Victoria , 18 May 2017 · 536 views

Getting this FET cycle started was emotionally the hardest thing I had ever done. My partner had changed his mind after I held on to three precious embryos for five years, while trying to earn more money, saving, and finding a better womb. I found Angel and she seemed perfect and I believed that after so many years, the time had come a...


The Mood Shifts

Posted by Victoria , 16 May 2017 · 216 views

So I had been in a mellow mood since the transfer. I visited Angel earlier, after 6:00 p.m. and handed her a 3-pack home pregnancy test kit. I wanted to see what the result would be tonight as she's getting her blood drawn tomorrow.
I felt that by now the hpts should be correct. But my mood shifted from optimistic to any wo...


The Angel-Surrogate

Posted by Victoria , 15 May 2017 · 189 views

I don't even know how she creeps into my life the way she does and is a big part of my struggle with infertility. And then she volunteers to be a surrogate and I wonder if what I heard is right.
"For real?" I say. "You would?" "Are you sure?"
"For sure," she says. "I want to help you."
She's caring. She's loving. S...


Cautious but Breathing a Little Better after the Transfer

Posted by Victoria , 12 May 2017 · 278 views

Transfer took place on Monday. Angel and I drove over 5 hours for the transfer. She drove about one and half hours and I drove the rest of the way. One embryo did not survive thaw, but I have always believed it would not. After the transfer, Angel got post transfer acupuncture. After, we travelled to a restaurant and ate lunch. I...


Compromise Reached with a Condition

Posted by Victoria , 01 May 2017 · 280 views
After gathering boxes, clothes, and telling friends that my fairytale marriage was on the brink of shattering like glass hitting concrete, something happened. I sat with my partner again for the too-many-times-to-count-talk, and told him how much I was still in love with him but how much we had to separate. He held my hand and said he would do it. He...


Lose, Lose Situation

Posted by Victoria , 08 February 2017 · 844 views

I read the recent responses from amp77 and want2babies and I was mortified by my reaction. I thought my tears were gone. I thought I was a stone to all that was happening on my journey to enlist the help of a surrogate I call Angel. But I cried. The pain to complete this journey grew stronger. The possibility of losing the partner I love to trade wit...


Another Twist, "It's a Sign From God"

Posted by Victoria , 01 February 2017 · 573 views

They find it -- my partner's lab work. It was not put in the database, thus the confusion. Everything comes back normal, and we (Angel and I) are ready to sail into my world of baby dreams. But, based on my journey to ascend to the top of my baby mountain climb, Angel's upcoming cycle will not render a transfer start dat...


"When it rains, it pours"

Posted by Victoria , 30 January 2017 · 394 views

My partner got all his part (lab work) done. I thought that would allow me to exhale a sigh of relief, however, I can't exhale now. I sent the clinic a note asking for his results so I could get the protocol for Angel. I was hoping she could begin the transfer process.
The clinic cannot find the lab work. Was it delivered to the clinic? Was it deli...


"My Cup Runneth Over"

Posted by Victoria , 16 January 2017 · 426 views

On Thursday "my cup runneth over." Built-up frustration overpowered me. I cannot describe what I did, but my partner remained calmed throughout my episode. Missing the appointment bothered me. He has never forgotten anything he had to do for the business, but he forgot the last tests to jumpstart our journey with Angel. I was hoping the new year...


One Step Closer

Posted by Victoria , 10 January 2017 · 397 views
Surrogate, lab tests
Angel called me Sunday. She tried to utter words but I could barely hear them. Her voices was raspy and her words were inaudible.
"What?" I say. "I can't hear you.
She managed to force out the words, "I'm ready."
"You are coming by? I didn't type the document yet."
"No. I'm ready."
"It's not ready," I say.

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